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Dear Kotex: (got this email - too Funny!)
Dear Kotex,
I recently noticed that the peel-off strip of my panty liner had a bunch of "Kotex Tips for Life" on it. Annoying advice such as:
Staying active during your period can relieve cramps.
Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches.
Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day to keep you hydrated and feeling fresh.
Try Kotex blah blah blah other products...
Obviously the individual behind this was someone who has never possessed a functioning set of ovaries. Go ahead and tell a menstruating woman that drinking 6-8 glasses of water
will help keep her feeling fresh.
Like we need more fluid inside our bloated bodies from hell..but go ahead.
See what happens and report back. I'll wait.
While you're at it, dump out the coffee at work and remove the chocolate from the vending machine. I garan-friggin-tee that the first responders will be females who just ovulated.
This advice was some brain function of a male..right???
Staying active will relieve headaches & cramps...well guess what, the only activity that interests me is eating...and oh...does ripping someone's head off count as a friggin activity?????
Look, females don't need or want tips for living on their feminine hygiene products. Younger girls are already hearing "helpful" crap like that from elderly relatives. Veteran females have already concocted their own recipes for survival, many containing alcohol.
Printing out $hit advice while sneaking in ads for the brand that
was already purchased is just plain annoying, not to mention rude, and is enough to send a girl running to the Always brand.
Mostly we'd like to forget that we even need these products
It's not a fun time, but DO NOT try to cheer us up by adding smiley faces or bunnies or flowery cutesy crap to your products or the packaging. Put the $hit in a plain brown wrapper so we can throw it in our carts discreetly and have it blend in among the wine and beer.
There is nothing more annoying than having a blinding pink package
announcing your uterine state to everyone in the store. Why don't ya just add an instore microphone to the damn package & announce that..helloooo, another female in the store is on the rag!!!!!
So take your tips for living and your cute bunnies & the smiley
faces that need to be smacked hard, and shove them right up your ***.
Ovarily Yours,
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Posted 8/29/06 8:01 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
KaRiSsA
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Member since 5/05 4646 total posts
Name:
KARISSA
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Re: Dear Kotex: (got this email - too Funny!)
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| Posted 8/29/06 8:01 PM |
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BobBsWife
No more school= too much time!
Member since 5/05 1395 total posts
Name:
Tracy
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Re: Dear Kotex: (got this email - too Funny!)
I always laugh at those tips!!
I also love the statement
"have a happy period"
The only period I am happy with is the one after that time of the month!
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| Posted 8/29/06 8:03 PM |
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charon54
My two boys!
Member since 5/05 7279 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: Dear Kotex: (got this email - too Funny!)
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| Posted 8/29/06 8:04 PM |
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megsm3
Life is Good!!
Member since 8/06 3867 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Dear Kotex: (got this email - too Funny!)
too funny
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| Posted 8/29/06 8:05 PM |
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Karen
Just chillin'!!
Member since 1/06 9690 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: Dear Kotex: (got this email - too Funny!)
love it!!!
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| Posted 8/29/06 8:08 PM |
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Re: Dear Kotex: (got this email - too Funny!)
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| Posted 8/29/06 8:36 PM |
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ssbride05
:-)
Member since 5/05 2654 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Dear Kotex: (got this email - too Funny!)
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| Posted 8/29/06 8:39 PM |
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Reese1106
Family of 4! :o)
Member since 8/06 6655 total posts
Name:
Theresa
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Re: Dear Kotex: (got this email - too Funny!)
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| Posted 8/29/06 8:41 PM |
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JoCaCoLa
Brothers For Life
Member since 5/05 1536 total posts
Name:
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Re: Dear Kotex: (got this email - too Funny!)
ROTFLMAO
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| Posted 8/29/06 8:49 PM |
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Shanti
True love
Member since 6/05 12653 total posts
Name:
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Re: Dear Kotex: (got this email - too Funny!)
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| Posted 8/29/06 8:51 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: Dear Kotex: (got this email - too Funny!)
 whoever wrote that is AWESOME! 
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| Posted 8/29/06 8:54 PM |
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nyteacher13
Three Under Four!!! :-)
Member since 8/06 6405 total posts
Name:
~ THERESA ~
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Re: Dear Kotex: (got this email - too Funny!)
omg, this is hysterical and SOOOO true!!!
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| Posted 8/29/06 8:59 PM |
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Re: Dear Kotex: (got this email - too Funny!)
love it!
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| Posted 8/29/06 9:02 PM |
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roxygrl8
......
Member since 6/06 2987 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Dear Kotex: (got this email - too Funny!)
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| Posted 8/29/06 9:16 PM |
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LIBOUND
Texting king
Member since 10/05 5289 total posts
Name:
Suzy
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Re: Dear Kotex: (got this email - too Funny!)
I'm laughing so loud, DH actually heard me from the basement on the other side of the house
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| Posted 8/29/06 9:22 PM |
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