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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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This Months update
Well Had RE appointment today, AF was late, but just started about 5 minutes ago( thanks biotch  )....but obviously BFN Pg tests..
Figured we would start this month on injectables...
WRONG...
another cyst   A big one again...stupid CLOMID...So nothing this time.
she basically gave us the option of either tracking O and coming in for a ntural cycle IUI or just forgoing it and doing nothing but Bd'ing.
She is putting us the wait list for the NYS IVF grant as well..
So needless to say I finally broke down in the Dr's office, and there was a med student in there today and I think my sobbing scared the living crap out of him, he couldnt have stared harder at his feet....poor guy...
I dont know anymore how to stay happy. I pray to get from hour to hour without feeling hopeless that the one thing I want more then anything in this world my whole life is so hard to have....and everything in comparision seems so silly and stupid.
Anyway...thats it from here...so looks like a 2006 baby might be out of the question, but theres always miracles right?
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Posted 2/28/06 4:17 PM  |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: This Months update
I'm so sorry about your day. Miracles do happen and some times when we are least expecting it. I certainly pray for a miracle for you...
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| Posted 2/28/06 4:22 PM |
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karacg
Babygirl is 4!
Member since 5/05 17076 total posts
Name:
Kara®
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Re: This Months update
Donna I want to pluck some of Morgan's shamrocks - find the 4 leaf clover - and give it to you. I feel awful that you were so upset today -- and that BAF showed up -- and that you have a cyst. It is so unfair.....
All is not lost for 2006 --- are you thinking about the natural IUI?
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| Posted 2/28/06 4:29 PM |
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LisaW
Time for me to FLY!
Member since 5/05 13199 total posts
Name:
Did I ever tell you that I hate people?
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Re: This Months update
Posted by dm24angel
I dont know anymore how to stay happy. I pray to get from hour to hour without feeling hopeless that the one thing I want more then anything in this world my whole life is so hard to have....and everything in comparision seems so silly and stupid.
Donna, I just want to say that I have just written something very similar elsewhere. I know how hard it is...
((((HUGS))))
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| Posted 2/28/06 4:34 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: This Months update
I know you do Lisa, and Im sorry for us all...
The anger is taking over as well.
Ya know I think to myself, I dont just want to be a mom. Thats ALL I want to be. Since I can remember, all I want is to have a family and to raise these amazing kids who will love others and make a difference....corny I KNOW...but then I see these people who really dont feel that way, they dont at all, and yet its easy for them. And yeah Lifes not fair, but it doesnt make SENSE either.
The horrible feelings just dont go away sometimes...
Thanks to you all for your support....means more then I could ever ever out into words...
Eta- one more vent is that I could kick ourselves for not saving and spending as we did in the past to live for today as we called it, but now dont have a dime to pay for the stupid IVF....
Message edited 2/28/2006 4:41:03 PM.
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| Posted 2/28/06 4:38 PM |
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karacg
Babygirl is 4!
Member since 5/05 17076 total posts
Name:
Kara®
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Re: This Months update
Donna please don't kick yourself -- I am 39 and I kick myself for using the patch and other BC for all these years -- but all it gets me is a nice ugly bruise.
I think you should try the guided imagery, it is soooo relaxing and uplifting.....
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| Posted 2/28/06 4:56 PM |
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rose825
Best Friends
Member since 6/05 10228 total posts
Name:
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Re: This Months update
Donna-- big hugs to you. You know we are always here for you and unfortunately know exactly how you feel. This is a roller coatser and right now you are on the down part. Take things one day at a time. This will happen for you!!!
It is great that she is putting you on the grant list. Did she mention how long it usually takes?
Allow yourself to grieve, anger is part of that and you have a right to be mad as he ll!!!!
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| Posted 2/28/06 6:03 PM |
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MrsJ
I love my Katie Bug
Member since 5/05 11357 total posts
Name:
Kathy
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Re: This Months update
Damn AF Donna! I was so hoping to hear good news from you tongiht! Im so sorry.
What does your Dr think is causing the cysts? Clomid? What can you do to help prevent them?
I'm really happy that she is put you on the lis for the IVF grant. How long is the waiting list for that? I dont know what kind of process that is but I hope you get picked!!
I dont know what advice to give, I too remember crying my eyes out and feeling like my turn would never come. I'm so sorry you have to go through that too. I wont lie, its just not fair! I'm going to keep for you that your time will come SOON!!
 Kathy
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| Posted 2/28/06 7:38 PM |
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redstar
Delay is not denial
Member since 5/05 2220 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: This Months update
Sorry
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| Posted 3/1/06 6:53 AM |
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