Only one child

DH and i think we only want one child. Im already 32 and i dont see us having a baby for at least 1-2 yrs.
Anyway, when i say that to some people, they are so rude and negative. This is a personal matter and finacial matter. I want to stay home w/ the baby as long as possible PLUS, have you seen the prices of colleges these day?????

Anyway, how do i resoond to these rude comments?

Re: Only one child

I think I would avoid the question all together or just say we are not sure.

Re: Only one child

Nothing aggravates me more when people "think" they know what's best for our situation And yes it IS a very personal matter between you and your husband and no one else ought to have any input but the 2 of you! Unfortunately there is nothing you can do but ignore these people and tell them it's YOUR life and YOUR choice, not theirs... Or tell them to bugger off

At this point we only plan on having DD but as with all I never say never and if people don't like our choice, it's their problem, not ours... Best of luck in whatever you decide and I am sure it will be the right one for your situation

Re: Only one child

I would just respond with "FOr now we are just too happy loving baby #1" and leave it at that. Then if you ever do decide to have baby #2 people won't say told you so and if you don't then you can always just say that the love for baby #1 was just enough for you.

Re: Only one child

I feel the same way. I used to tell people that we didn't want anymore and I was looked at like I had two heads. Now I just blame it on God by saying "we'll see what God has in her plan for us"

Re: Only one child

Honestly you don't have to answer to anyone and how rude of people to even second guess you and want to know why.
I would just tell people you aren't sure - after all - no one really knows what is in store for them...

Message edited 8/19/2006 6:58:45 AM.

Re: Only one child

Exactly.
IT is no one's business but your own.
I personally feel blessed with whatever comes our way and that is of no concern to anyone else.

Don't sweat it

Message edited 8/19/2006 7:49:32 AM.

Re: Only one child

To some of our friends we were taking to long to have baby # 2. And they kept saying aren't you going to have another? I just told them I was enjoying Patrick. And if WE chose to have more then we will.

Re: Only one child

Since you dont have any now, I would answer the question, "We're not sure." or that "We haven't decided." Only because you may change your mind & who needs the annoying "I thought you only wanted one?" comments.

Afterwards, I would probably deflect comments with humor because if someone is rude, I get sarcastic. I would say "We're going to wait until we're done paying for his college." or "Two is enough right now (refer to husband)".

Message edited 8/19/2006 8:57:11 AM.

Re: Only one child

Sometimes I feel as if I only want one as well. Then I hear comments from family members and friends...even strangers sometimes about how you just can't have one.

It's so annoying. I just love how everyone thinks they know what's best for you.

Re: Only one child

I suppose I would try to stay an unemotional as possible when replying. Afterall, if anyone is going to be narrowminded enough to think that having "only" one child is strange, I don't think it's worth trying to explain to them why or how you came to that personal decision. Probably the best bet is to refrain from even discussing it (going the "we're not sure" route) so you dont even have to feel the need to explain. However, you can always just directly "We decided we want one child" - leave out the word "only". If someone presses you further, I would say "Why is this so important to you?"...but then that gets into a confrontation. Anyone who would press it further is either an idiot or has their own issues about not understanding why other peoples choices dont agree with theirs or...whatever ??? who knows, thats why I think not even getting into it is the way to go.

Re: Only one child

You don't. Just give them a blank stare and, if they persist, ask them why they find it necessary to ask such a personal question and leave it at that. We had planned on having only one child. However, it didn't work out that way. My girls are six years apart and I loved it. It was like they were each "only" children. You don't know what the future will bring and your decisions are your own. Everyone should just mind their own business.

Re: Only one child

as someone who has one and is desperately trying for #2 I know all the rude comments you are hearing and will continue to hear. EVERYONE (including the lady at the bank) thinks you should have 2. I still dont know how to respond to them. If this is what you want, it is your choice and no one should have a say about it. But they will so think of a good reply and stick with it cause you will need it for a looonnngg time.

Re: Only one child

Maybe you can say, we're ready when you're ready to give us the half million to raise it and another half million to send it to college