Wedding Etiquette/Advice**UPDATE**

DH & I were asked if our daughter could be the flower gilr in a wedding. The wedding is August 7 and the person getting married picked out & bought my daughter's dress only 1 week ago. Now the dress is way too big and it's $130. I had called the lady to adivse her that I didn't want to spend too much money and that I would rather her tell me the colors so I could go get her a dress myself. Needless to say she went to David's Bridal & got the dress herself. DH was so mad that he called her & said that we would not be paying her back until we either find her the same dress in her size or find my daughter a dress and we would just give them back the dress they bought. I went to DB and all their purchases are final sale! Do you think it was right of us to have said this to them? Now the wedding is only 3 weeks away, the lady never returned my calls and it's just a mess? Should I just pull Marissa(my daughter) out of the wedding? The couple has no relation to us, they are friends of a cousin. HELP

Message edited 7/29/2005 12:32:37 PM.

Re: Wedding Etiquette/Advice

I am sorry but i think i would just back out. This is just toooo weird IMO.

Re: Wedding Etiquette/Advice

She shouldn't have bought the dress for you. Since they're not relatives, you shouldn't feel obligated to keep your daughter in the wedding party. I'd pull her out.

Good luck!!

Re: Wedding Etiquette/Advice

thats strange, if i wound up buying the dress myself for my fg i would have checked with the parents, checked the size and maybe even just paid for it myself (but thats me - i can never ask people for $$ - my downfall, i guess!).....we had our fg use a communion dress her mom and i estimated (perfectly, luckily!) would fit when we bought it the june before our wedding.....

i would call her again and maybe state something to the effect of "if we don't hear from you by (date), we will assume that our daughter's services are not needed as a fg, we have several concerns and urgently need to speak to you; we know the wedding i srapidly approaching and you must be so busy/etc but please call us back at xxx-xxx-xxxx as soon as you can!" or something like it....

eta: just a thought too - when my sister and i were younger, my cousin was supposed to marry her hs sweetheart and asked us to be her fg's when he reutrned from the army in 4 yrs - 4 yrs later, he returned but niether wanted to get marreid to anohter - she later married someone else and we were crushed about not being her fg's - how does your daughter feel about being a fg? if she is excited, it might not be "fair" to her to pull out yet, but it is ultimately your decision!

Message edited 7/23/2005 12:25:40 PM.

Re: Wedding Etiquette/Advice

this is just a weird situation. why wouldn;t they let you take your daughter to get measured so that you wouldn't run into this problem? i say walk away, its just not worth it.

Re: Wedding Etiquette/Advice

why was she asked to be the flower girl to begin with? It doesnt sound like you are close?

Re: Wedding Etiquette/Advice

I'm a bit taken aback that she didn't call and ask you her dress size and if the price of the dress was okay with your budget. Something's not right with that. If your daughter is looking forward to being their FG, it would be hard to pull her out.

Re: Wedding Etiquette/Advice

We haven't told my daughter about it, so it'snot a big deal to pull her out. The lady asked assumed that because she was 5 she was wearing a size 6. Those dresses tend to run big but this dress was way too big. The bride & groom are my cousin's broher & sister in law to be. They asked us because they knew of no other little girl. When they asked I had initially said no but DH thought I was being rude and we should let our daughter be part of it . Now the wedding is 2 weeks away and I'm stuck with adress that doesn't fit.

Re: Wedding Etiquette/Advice

I don't know what to tell you...I would pull her out of the Wedding Party.
When we got married, we had DH's goddaughter as the flowergirl...cousin's daughter...and we know they don't have a lot of money. We bought the dress, paid for it and asked them what size she was before we ordered it. I don't know why anyone would order a dress based on a child's age...they are all different sizes!

Re: Wedding Etiquette/Advice

Just an FYI We pulled my daughter out of the wedding!!!! The lady called me yesterday and had the nerve to ask if I still had the dress she had gotten Marissa....because she had a neice coming from Canada & she could wear it. I was like ***??? The nerve!!! I told her she could take it all back that Marissa was out!!! BEE-OTCH!!!!

Re: Wedding Etiquette/Advice**UPDATE**

Posted by LadyLainez

Just an FYI We pulled my daughter out of the wedding!!!! The lady called me yesterday and had the nerve to ask if I still had the dress she had gotten Marissa....because she had a neice coming from Canada & she could wear it. I was like ***??? The nerve!!! I told her she could take it all back that Marissa was out!!! BEE-OTCH!!!!

Re: Wedding Etiquette/Advice**UPDATE**

Good for you! She is a bit nervy!

Re: Wedding Etiquette/Advice**UPDATE**

thats crazy.....she had a "back up"???? well, at least its no longer your headache!

Re: Wedding Etiquette/Advice**UPDATE**

I would just pull her out of the wedding, this lady is obviously doing whatever she wants...it's not worth it!

Re: Wedding Etiquette/Advice**UPDATE**

I am happy to hear you took her out, way to much drama. I hate the rent a child feeling you get when someone asks you cause basically they dont know any other kids. Yuck!