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Kate07
Feel better my little guy!
Member since 5/05 4476 total posts
Name:
Kate
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Does your family play favorites
I mean, at the holidays, is there ever a blatantly large difference in the gifts certain members receive from one member of the family. Ex. Your cousin gets a fancy fragrance and you get a frying pan from Walmart from Aunt Mildred?
I get a kick out of the nerve of people. I mean of course there is the courteousy of being thankful but what is someone to think when you have been just as generous as the other person and they got this beautiful, thoughtful gift and you got something ok, but I wouldn't say there was much thought put into it. Feeling like dirt....
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Posted 12/25/05 9:23 PM  |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: Does your family play favorites
I can see your point. Though I was wondering if we all take part in this. I mean people that have treated me like dirt with gifts in the past r getting what they give too. So in essence unless the gifts stop, it becomes a cycle of cr@ppy gifts. .
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| Posted 12/25/05 9:32 PM |
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Kate07
Feel better my little guy!
Member since 5/05 4476 total posts
Name:
Kate
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Re: Does your family play favorites
I see your point as well. I just saw something today that floored me. I felt so bad. Someone who is equally giving among a group of people received a gift so cheap I couldn't get over it. While another person just as equally giving received a beautiful gift. I just couldn't get over it.
The holidays aren't about gifts. I think sometimes that is lost on both the giving and receiving end of it.
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| Posted 12/25/05 9:40 PM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: Does your family play favorites
My family is very fair about how much they spend on gifts for everyone. Sometimes someone gets a bunch of little things that add up to the one big thing someone else gets.
ILs are a completely different story. Take for example 2 years ago. DH & I got a set of 4 coffee mugs that don't match our dishes (and we don't drink coffee or tea) and some decorative plates from MILs "collection" that she didn't want anymore. BIL got a new 32" TV. But she makes fun of her friends that play favorites with their kids. 
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| Posted 12/25/05 10:40 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: Does your family play favorites
Posted by sarahsmommy
My family is very fair about how much they spend on gifts for everyone. Sometimes someone gets a bunch of little things that add up to the one big thing someone else gets.
ILs are a completely different story. Take for example 2 years ago. DH & I got a set of 4 coffee mugs that don't match our dishes (and we don't drink coffee or tea) and some decorative plates from MILs "collection" that she didn't want anymore. BIL got a new 32" TV. But she makes fun of her friends that play favorites with their kids.
That totally s*x!
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| Posted 12/25/05 10:46 PM |
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Kate07
Feel better my little guy!
Member since 5/05 4476 total posts
Name:
Kate
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Re: Does your family play favorites
Posted by sarahsmommy
My family is very fair about how much they spend on gifts for everyone. Sometimes someone gets a bunch of little things that add up to the one big thing someone else gets.
ILs are a completely different story. Take for example 2 years ago. DH & I got a set of 4 coffee mugs that don't match our dishes (and we don't drink coffee or tea) and some decorative plates from MILs "collection" that she didn't want anymore. BIL got a new 32" TV. But she makes fun of her friends that play favorites with their kids.
I know it is not about the gifts but I definitely feel people should treat equal relationships with equal gifts. I know I probably sound like a b**** but the holidays should not make people feel bad!!!!
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| Posted 12/25/05 10:47 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: Does your family play favorites
Posted by Kate07
I see your point as well. I just saw something today that floored me. I felt so bad. Someone who is equally giving among a group of people received a gift so cheap I couldn't get over it. While another person just as equally giving received a beautiful gift. I just couldn't get over it.
The holidays aren't about gifts. I think sometimes that is lost on both the giving and receiving end of it.
see now if like u said a person was very giving and received a cr@ppy gift bc of favorites, thats just wrong. I think we've gone overboard with exchanging in general. I mean who needs these 2000 dollar xmas credit card bills. It would be better playing secret santa with your family...lol j/k
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| Posted 12/25/05 10:50 PM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: Does your family play favorites
Posted by Kate07
Posted by sarahsmommy
My family is very fair about how much they spend on gifts for everyone. Sometimes someone gets a bunch of little things that add up to the one big thing someone else gets.
ILs are a completely different story. Take for example 2 years ago. DH & I got a set of 4 coffee mugs that don't match our dishes (and we don't drink coffee or tea) and some decorative plates from MILs "collection" that she didn't want anymore. BIL got a new 32" TV. But she makes fun of her friends that play favorites with their kids.
I know it is not about the gifts but I definitely feel people should treat equal relationships with equal gifts. I know I probably sound like a b**** but the holidays should not make people feel bad!!!!
I know. I was really upset at the time. She told DH that it was because we are "in a better place" than BIL is. He is a NYC teacher with his masters, so he makes a decent salary. Not married, no school loans, no mortgage (his co-op was a gift from ILs) so he actually has a lot more discressionary income than we do. DH has a good job and at the time I was working in the non-profit sector, but we have a mortgage, 2 cars, my school loan, etc. I've realized she's never going to change so I try not to get upset anymore. But sometimes that's easier said than done.
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| Posted 12/25/05 10:52 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: Does your family play favorites
Posted by sarahsmommy
Posted by Kate07
Posted by sarahsmommy
My family is very fair about how much they spend on gifts for everyone. Sometimes someone gets a bunch of little things that add up to the one big thing someone else gets.
ILs are a completely different story. Take for example 2 years ago. DH & I got a set of 4 coffee mugs that don't match our dishes (and we don't drink coffee or tea) and some decorative plates from MILs "collection" that she didn't want anymore. BIL got a new 32" TV. But she makes fun of her friends that play favorites with their kids.
I know it is not about the gifts but I definitely feel people should treat equal relationships with equal gifts. I know I probably sound like a b**** but the holidays should not make people feel bad!!!!
I know. I was really upset at the time. She told DH that it was because we are "in a better place" than BIL is. He is a NYC teacher with his masters, so he makes a decent salary. Not married, no school loans, no mortgage (his co-op was a gift from ILs) so he actually has a lot more discressionary income than we do. DH has a good job and at the time I was working in the non-profit sector, but we have a mortgage, 2 cars, my school loan, etc. I've realized she's never going to change so I try not to get upset anymore. But sometimes that's easier said than done.
I saw the cute baby on your avatar. I assumed it was your daughter so I was just thinking that maybe she was thinking that she give u more bc of your child? maybe this bil doesnt have kids so she assumes it equals out. I know some people think that way, not to say its right.
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| Posted 12/25/05 10:55 PM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: Does your family play favorites
Posted by PrincessP
Posted by sarahsmommy
Posted by Kate07
Posted by sarahsmommy
My family is very fair about how much they spend on gifts for everyone. Sometimes someone gets a bunch of little things that add up to the one big thing someone else gets.
ILs are a completely different story. Take for example 2 years ago. DH & I got a set of 4 coffee mugs that don't match our dishes (and we don't drink coffee or tea) and some decorative plates from MILs "collection" that she didn't want anymore. BIL got a new 32" TV. But she makes fun of her friends that play favorites with their kids.
I know it is not about the gifts but I definitely feel people should treat equal relationships with equal gifts. I know I probably sound like a b**** but the holidays should not make people feel bad!!!!
I know. I was really upset at the time. She told DH that it was because we are "in a better place" than BIL is. He is a NYC teacher with his masters, so he makes a decent salary. Not married, no school loans, no mortgage (his co-op was a gift from ILs) so he actually has a lot more discressionary income than we do. DH has a good job and at the time I was working in the non-profit sector, but we have a mortgage, 2 cars, my school loan, etc. I've realized she's never going to change so I try not to get upset anymore. But sometimes that's easier said than done.
I saw the cute baby on your avatar. I assumed it was your daughter so I was just thinking that maybe she was thinking that she give u more bc of your child? maybe this bil doesnt have kids so she assumes it equals out. I know some people think that way, not to say its right.
I could see that, but we didn't have the baby then. We weren't even preggo then. She just has it in her head that we are rich b/c DH works for a hegde fund. Hi, would we have bought your crappy house from you if we were rich? No, it was all we could afford on LI. DH says she's always favored his brother, even though she claims she doesn't.
Holidays bring out the best in some people and the weird quirks in others. LOL.
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| Posted 12/25/05 10:57 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Does your family play favorites
My family doesn't play favorites - in fact my mom comes within a few dollar of all of us (son-in-laws & grandkids too) when buying gifts.
My ILs try to be equal too but it doesn't always work out. Probably more bc it's a blended family. DH's stepsister gets money snuck to her by her dad to pay her mortgage (but yet they buy a flat screen, new computer, laptop for a 11 year old ). My MIL gives us cards with a check and some cash. It wasn't until recently that I realized she was giving us cash to make up for her husband buying/giving more things to his kids & grandkids. In the end, none of it bothers me that much. I pity the grandkids more who are being raised with this welfare mentality of having their hands out.
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| Posted 12/26/05 8:50 AM |
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