Question for the Step-moms out there?

As a new step-mommie myself, I'm curious, from those of you who are step-moms, are you getting anything for mothers day, or atleast being acknowledged? I've been with DH for 4 years now, married for just over a month, and we've lived together for 3 (before the wedding). I play a very big part in my step-kids lives, but ofcourse, mother's day wasn't a day for me. But now that we're married, I'm kinda wondering. Like I said, I play a huge part in their lives and have for over 3 years now. I don't expect the kids to really recognize me on mother's day, they are 7 and 12, but I think it would be absolutely wonderful for my DH to recognize all that I do.

Am I just being a brat here or what? I don't want to bring it up to him, b/c I'm curious if he'll figure this one out on his own? Or should I say something to him?

Advice is appreciated! Thanks ladies!


Tricia

Re: Question for the Step-moms out there?

I am a step child...I have always given my step mother a mothers day card. She has been my step mom since I was 7 or 8 years old (I can't remember ). and also gave father's day card to my step father who has been my step dad since I was 3. I have never called my step mom Mom nor step dad Dad (only called them by their first names because I have a MOM and DAD...I don't even call my inlaws mom and dad) but have always given them a Mom or Dad card (what ever the occassion) never got them a "step" card...

I hope at least DH recognizes the day for you.

Re: Question for the Step-moms out there?

I have a stepmom and always acknowledge her with a card...We're not that close so I don't do more than that. I would talk to DH if it's something that's bothering you. Sounds like you've certainly had the time to build up relationships with your stepchildren so you certainly should be acknowledged and appreciated! Sometimes men don't have a clue about those things and need to be advised!

Re: Question for the Step-moms out there?

Thanks for the replies ladies. Ya know it's so funny, b/c I was listening to the radio this morning and this woman came on (a step-mom) and this mothers day weekend is their weekend with the kids. She was adamant about the fact that this is her day too. She's been married to their dad for 10 months, but didn't say how long she'd been in their lives. She was actually very kiniving (sp?) about spending time with the kids that day and not letting the mother have the whole day with her kids.

I'm definitely not that person!!!!! Their mother is their mother, and I will never, ever take the place of her. We may not agree on everything, but I would never degrade her infront of the kids or take away from her special day in any sort of way! They love their mother, and hopefully they love me in their own way (I think they do )!

I will definitely speak with DH about it. You're right, when it comes to these things, men are stupid!! I didn't think the kids would recognize me on that day b/c we just got married and I still think, even though we've been together for a long time, that this is a big transition for them.

Thanks for the advice ladies. I really appreciate it!!!!

Re: Question for the Step-moms out there?

My mom was a step-mom to my oldest brother and sister who were from my mom's first marriage. They never saw thier biological mom. She left my dad and the kids one day and my mom married my dad when they were still young so she raised them completely. They always treated her as if she was just as much thier mom as she was to us, her biological children. She really is the one who raised them so she deserved it.

I hope that you get the recognition you deserve this mother's day. We were saying on another post how Hallmark has really taken the guesswork out of a lot of these situations because they have specific cards for stepmoms and also I think the kids could probably make you something handmade that would be really nice.

Do they live with you and DH? What do they call you?

Re: Question for the Step-moms out there?

I'm a step-mom. I'm really not expecting anything from SD, she is only 6. But DH and surprisingly my MIL have each given me something already, so that's nice.

While I love being appreciated, I still feel weird about Mother's day.

Re: Question for the Step-moms out there?

Last year was my first as a step-mom and my sd was told by her mom that if she did anything for me that it would hurt her feelings. So I told my dh not to put her in that position, but I also told my dh and the rest of my family not to acknowledge it for me either, after we have a child then I will truly get to celebrate a mothers day.

Re: Question for the Step-moms out there?

I'm a step-mom...my step-daughter lives with us, so I'm not sure if it makes a difference. Last year for mother's day I got a card that she made and a plant (from the plant day at school). I will probably get something similar this year. However...DH did not get me anything last year...who knows about this year

Re: Question for the Step-moms out there?

I"m a step-mom ... unfortunately DH's family BARELY recognizes me as his wife, so NONE of them recognize me as a step-mom.

I'm ok w/ it ... our first baby together will be here in a few short weeks so I'm enjoying this 'mothers day to be' w/ DH