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azoodie
Member since 8/05 8377 total posts
Name:
Team SEXY BACK
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Re: Okay, am I wrong? Really Disappointed With Close Friend
I totally understand why you're disappointed by her reaction, but I do see where she is coming from. This is not a serious relationship and they've only been on a few dates. She has no real committment to this person and honestly, I would not want to commit to him either.
Just being honest.
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Posted 8/24/06 10:44 AM  |
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evenedan
Need a little sunshine
Member since 9/05 3843 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Okay, am I wrong? Really Disappointed With Close Friend
You aren't wrong. You can't help how you feel inside and it's not like you went off on her. I would also be disappointed, I have a cousin my age with MS and I would be heart broken if she met a great guy who rejected her because of her condition. And honestly, nobody knows what the future holds, she could be caretaker in 40 years to someone who seems perfectly healthy now anyway. Can you get this guy's number so I can give it to my cousin? LOL.
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| Posted 8/24/06 11:51 AM |
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unknown1
****
Member since 5/05 2771 total posts
Name:
lisa
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Re: Okay, am I wrong? Really Disappointed With Close Friend
Posted by LRusso
You may recall my friend who is divorced...the one I made sure to spend her "wedding day" with. Okay, well she's dating again and met this guy on Match who she liked. They went out 4 times and me and DH were to meet him tomorrow. Well, he told her he had something health-related he needed to share. He was diagnosed with MS and gives himself a shot everyday. He's doing fine, but MS *can* be debilitating in the future....he told her that some women can deal with what that might bring and others can't. Well, she told me she feels guilty, but she can't. Now, I'm not exactly the best person to pour your heart out to about not being able to date someone who is different, since my beautiful, single sister is physically disabled.
I told her that MS doesn't have to be a death sentence and if she really likes him, she should just see what happens but she isnt willing because she says she "doesn't want to play caretaker at 40." Yes, this is her choice. But I feel saddened by it. I just said to her: Well, you're off the hook now. Don't sweat it. But it made me really sad. DH can't believe she told me that THAT'S why she won't see him anymore. He is probably the nicest man to come her way in a LONG time.
To be honest if she can't handle it she cant' handle it.... I understand how you feel but it truly is her life.. I understand about your sister that is why this probably tugs at your heart but I would not be mad at my friend.. People don't stay with people because they smoke.(personal preference) why cna't they choose not to deal with a disability.
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| Posted 8/24/06 12:12 PM |
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MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Okay, am I wrong? Really Disappointed With Close Friend
Although I would be disappointed in her, maybe she would have felt differently if there were more time invested in the relationship & there were more substantial feelings there.
I also have a disabled sibling, and I am also very sensitive to it. I do think that for someone who has not been exposed to a long-term relationship with someone in that way may fear that the future will be nothing but nursing this man she barely knows now.
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| Posted 8/24/06 1:17 PM |
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MrsERod
Praying for Everyone.
Member since 5/05 26170 total posts
Name:
MrsERod™®
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Re: Okay, am I wrong? Really Disappointed With Close Friend
Posted by nrthshgrl
I don't think you're wrong to be disappointed in her. I think you'd be wrong if you held it against her & were no longer her friend.
Some people are stronger than others & can deal with what cards life dealt them & their loved ones. She's just not one of those people. The sad thing is that she could fall in love/marry someone and find him or herself in a similar predicament. 
totally agree.
and besides, I can almost GUARANTEE you - SHE will always wonder "what if?...." or "what could have been?"..........
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| Posted 8/24/06 1:30 PM |
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jeanlaS
LIF Infant
Member since 11/05 175 total posts
Name:
Jean
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Re: Okay, am I wrong? Really Disappointed With Close Friend
That's a tough one...I can see where you are coming from Lana and I would probably feel the same way. But everyone is different and at least your friend realizes what is right for her.
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| Posted 8/24/06 1:54 PM |
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Lanabean
Yoginis
Member since 11/05 9202 total posts
Name:
Lana
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Re: Okay, am I wrong? Really Disappointed With Close Friend
Many thankies for ALL your opinions.
I will continue to snub my discriminatory friend.
Just kidding.....thanks for helping me see her side more.
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| Posted 8/24/06 5:27 PM |
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Nicole728
My Happy Girl
Member since 7/06 8198 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Okay, am I wrong? Really Disappointed With Close Friend
this is a really personal decision....my DH has a genetic disease in his family..his mother died of it and there is a 50% chance that he could have it. I struggled with the fact that if i married him that there was a chance that he could get sick and i would have to take care of him...and ultimately become a widow...
My life has been so much fuller and happier since i've been with my DH, he treats me like a godess...and i know if it was the other way around, he would be willing to take care of me. So despite the fact that he "could" get sick, i'm staying with him..."in sickness and in health."
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| Posted 8/24/06 5:40 PM |
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