Need advice: Long: UPDATED

Thanks for the help!!

Message edited 12/15/2005 11:30:55 AM.

Re: Need advice: Long

Maybe she was crying wolf again and really ISN'T pregnant?

Re: Need advice: Long

You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. It sounds like you have def. made an effort to talk to her - and are supporting her no matter what. Maybe she is embarrased because she made the pregnancy up again?

Message edited 11/8/2005 3:41:01 PM.

Re: Need advice: Long

That's what I thought too, but why tell her mom and sisters?

Re: Need advice: Long

Message edited 11/8/2005 3:39:05 PM.

Re: Need advice: Long

Re: Need advice: Long

That could very well be it - and if that is the case you should really suggest that she seeks some professional help. That is really not something to lie about over and over again.

Re: Need advice: Long

If she ISN'T pregant then maybe she told her Mom and sis so that you really belived her. She knew that in the past you were aware that she only told you. It makes it more belivable if she tells a lot of people.

If she IS pregant, she needs serious help. There are alot of women on this site who would give anything to have a baby of there own and who are having so much trouble TTC, it's so sad to hear of a girl getting pregant and treating the sistuatn as she is.

I would have a serious talk with her, but don't go in angry. Be forceful and get the answers you need. But remeber that if she is pregant, a girl like that might be totally vonarble to any confrontation. If it was all a lie, distance yourself immedatly form this person.
Good luck.

Message edited 11/8/2005 4:16:07 PM.

Re: Need advice: Long

Re: Need advice: Long

how about calling her mother or sister and even asking them if she told them she was pregnant? She may not even have and just TOLD you that she did so you would believe her. Catch her in the lie, she probably wants/needs that.

Message edited 11/8/2005 4:37:27 PM.

Re: Need advice: Long

Re: Need advice: Long

I had a friend just like the one you are talking about, and one day finally said I cannot take it anymore. I told her I wished her the best but that I had my own life to deal with and could not deal with her "problems" every day. Let me tell you that was the best decision I ever made. My life is stress free and her life is the same as I left her. JMO say bye bye!

Re: Need advice: Long

Message edited 12/15/2005 11:31:13 AM.

Re: Need advice: Long

Maybe she is so convinced that she is going to miscarry that that's why she isn't taking care of herself?

All her actions point to NOT being pregnant though... it's really weird.

I would just straight up confront her... "Are you pregnant or not because you certainly aren't acting like it!!"

A confrontation like that is totally justified in this situation. You are her friend and are truly looking out for her, her health, and possibly the health of her baby.

Re: Need advice: Long

I would confront her. Tell her your worried about her and address your concerns. Start your sentances with "I feel" Not "YOu did/are" Make sure she knows you are not judging her, but you are really concerned for her health and the health of her baby, if there really is a baby.

Once she gets on her own two feet, I would distance myself from her. She has a recurring issue- she is not healthy. She needs to either get help, or get out of your life. Otherwise- this will continue for the rest of your friendship. She is a toxic person and has a lot of issues. Anyone who lies about being pregnant has serious problems and needs help. If she doesn't get help- I think there is nothing else for you to do but back out- letting her know that if she ever gets help, you will be there for her.

Re: Need advice: Long: UPDATED

Message edited 12/15/2005 11:31:29 AM.

Re: Need advice: Long: UPDATED

Posted by finalatina

I made plans to meet with her last weekend. But first I went to her mom's house to speak with her mom and her sisters. They told me she had told them recently that she lost the baby. But upon further discussion we concluded she was lying about the whole thing. When I met with her on saturday, she told me she lost the baby and that it was too painful to talk about. Again her story didnt add up to what she told her sisters. Without divulging any information that her sisters told me, I told her she really needs help. Like always, she shrugged it off as nothing.
Anyway, I thought Id update you guys and again thank you for the advice.

Re: Need advice: Long: UPDATED

Thanks for the update.

I am so sorry that you have to deal with this. You are so supportive, but your friend really needs help. I hope she gets it.