LIFamilies.com - Long Island, NY


RSS
Articles Business Directory Blog Real Estate Community Forum Shop My Family Contests

Log In Chat Index Search Rules Lingo Create Account

Quick navigation:   

Morbid but neccesary question

Posted By Message

sunny
Life is good!

Member since 5/05

8369 total posts

Name:
Stephanie

Morbid but neccesary question

How do you go about specifying what happens to your child if something happens to you and dh?
Besides a will, is there a legal form you can have ready?

Posted 3/23/06 7:17 PM
 
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource

jpsgirl
LIF Infant

Member since 7/05

272 total posts

Name:
Deb

Re: Morbid but neccesary question

I think a simple will would do it. We haven't done it yet....

Posted 3/23/06 7:39 PM
 

anon
where's winter?

Member since 11/05

2209 total posts

Name:

Re: Morbid but neccesary question

Message edited 2/8/2007 11:20:20 AM.

Posted 3/23/06 7:55 PM
 

Calla
My girls

Member since 7/05

4303 total posts

Name:

Re: Morbid but neccesary question

I think that if you have property and any significant assets, its worth doing the will with a lawyer. If you have a large insurance policy, you may also need to set up a "family trust" so that the money you want your daughter to have doesn't get taxed.

Posted 3/23/06 8:09 PM
 

sunny
Life is good!

Member since 5/05

8369 total posts

Name:
Stephanie

Re: Morbid but neccesary question

Posted by Calla

I think that if you have property and any significant assets, its worth doing the will with a lawyer. If you have a large insurance policy, you may also need to set up a "family trust" so that the money you want your daughter to have doesn't get taxed.



That is the thing- we don't own a home , so a will is not really necessary at this point. I am really worried about guardianship.

Posted 3/23/06 8:14 PM
 

Melbernai
I am a lucky Momma!

Member since 7/05

15652 total posts

Name:
Melissa

Re: Morbid but neccesary question

In my family we always said that the godparents would take care of the children if something happened -- I don't know if my parents ever put it in writing when we were younger but I know it is something that we have to do for Emily. My question is that we chose one person from my husband's family and oneperson from mine -- but I'd really want my sister and her husband to have guardianship if it came down to it -- his brother is single, still lives with his dad, and I just think my sister is in a better situation to raise a child.

So it's a serious thing DH and I need to discuss and decide on -- then make sure it's in writing of some sort.

Posted 3/23/06 8:19 PM
 

CathyB

Member since 5/05

19403 total posts

Name:

Re: Morbid but neccesary question

We got our wills done and it was specified in there who the guardian is. It wasn't that expensive, and it covers future children as well.

I think there are do it yourself will kits out there that you just need to have noterized.

Posted 3/23/06 8:22 PM
 

jnico
LIF Adolescent

Member since 10/05

798 total posts

Name:
Joanne

Re: Morbid but neccesary question

My dh and I don't own our house, but we did get a will done through our lawyer. I think it is very important when you have a child to set up who will be taking care of him or her if god forbid something were to happen. We have a few options (backups) in case something were to happen to the current people we chose. We also filled out health care proxies at the same time. We are only in our late twenties, but imo isn't doesn't matter how old you are. You should take care of it and hopefully you will never need it.

Posted 3/23/06 10:38 PM
 

dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!

Member since 10/05

11561 total posts

Name:
Dina

Re: Morbid but neccesary question

Posted by sunny

Posted by Calla

I think that if you have property and any significant assets, its worth doing the will with a lawyer. If you have a large insurance policy, you may also need to set up a "family trust" so that the money you want your daughter to have doesn't get taxed.



That is the thing- we don't own a home , so a will is not really necessary at this point. I am really worried about guardianship.



JMO, but if you have specific people you want to be the guardians and they agreed to it, you should have the lawyer draw up papers that would specify that. Also, life insurance policy should be in trust for your child with a portion going to the guardians to be able to afford to take care of your child's needs. I have heard of family members disputing guardianship if papers are not drawn.
For example, your parents or your DH's parents and go to court for custody of your children if you did not have papers signed by you, your DH and the guardians that you want for your children. I don't have all the answers but I have heard this can happen. Definitely speak with a lawyer and with the potential guardians of your children. I hope this helps. Chat Icon

Message edited 3/23/2006 11:06:23 PM.

Posted 3/23/06 11:05 PM
 

Ali1
Mommy

Member since 8/05

3116 total posts

Name:

Re: Morbid but neccesary question

Me and DH are my sisters children guardians should something happen to them both. She made up a short will saying there entire value of their assets shall go to us for use for the children and college expenses. They also made small provisions in the will for some of there jewelry to be held for their children until they are age 18 I believe. The whole process is pretty simple.

I believe they also did a health care proxy at that time too.

Me and DH will be doing the same shortly after the babies are here.

Posted 3/24/06 9:08 AM
 

michele31
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

3372 total posts

Name:
Michele

Re: Morbid but neccesary question

Scott and I got Will software from Costco. Our friends also used it. It is very simple and straightfoward.
You need guardianship papers as well as an executor of your Will- usually they are different people. You should discuss your wishes for guardianship and backup guardianship (in case anything happens to choice #1). You can also add things like "Please make sure the children visit with both sets of grandparents XX per year" or "Please allow my SIL to take Joey overnight once a month"..or anything like that you may want.
Even without assets, a Will is very important. You have bills, bank accounts, cars- someone should be appointed to close out your remaining financial responsiblites, last tax filings etc... And you should spell out if you have certain wishes for your life insurance. FOr instance, education is very important to Scott & I. We don't want Molly struggling through College or dropping out because there is no money left because someone let her have a new BMW at 17. So we are specifing a bit of how we want the money used.

Godparents are NOT legal guardians in the eyes of the State. That is a religious thing only. It would mean nothing in a court of law. Also, I would not "split" up the guardianship with one from each family. And what if you have children with different Godparents? Now the siblings are living in different homes too?JMO, but that is not a stable homelife for my child. How would that work, like a divorced, joint-custody argeement?

Message edited 3/24/2006 9:43:29 AM.

Posted 3/24/06 9:41 AM
 

Michelle
My Little Yankee Fans

Member since 1/06

4018 total posts

Name:

Re: Morbid but neccesary question

We can not agree on anyone that we would want to raise the boys. The one person we would like live in NC, and we don't think that would be fair to our paretns, and less fair to my parents since it is DH's brother. I vetoed his sister, he vetoed my brother, which we both agree on, but I feel his parents are too old, and he thinks if I can veto his parents then we should veto mine. We really need to come to a decision on this.

Posted 3/24/06 12:14 PM
 

-Laurie-
Hi!

Member since 5/05

2536 total posts

Name:

Re: Morbid but neccesary question

I don't know the NYS Law but since we are technically Florida Residents if something was to happen to us Jack and we didn't have guardianship drawn up (which we do) then it would go to the courts and only a blood relative or another Florida Resident could take over guardianship and since we know there could be a mini war then that would leave our son/children in foster care until it was decided which I heard in some cases can take a long time.

We know our decision will majorily upset one set of Grandparents but until Jack's Godmother (SIL) or GodFather (my bro) are married and secure in their own life Jack goes to one of our parents. We figure we'll be dead so they can't complain to us about it and since it is in our will we will hopefully avoid the war.

Posted 3/24/06 12:22 PM
 

lmb03
Stop kissing me!

Member since 5/05

2636 total posts

Name:
L

Re: Morbid but neccesary question

DH did our (he is an attorney) wills before DD arrived. It is very important to have since you never know what might happen.

Most lawyers don't charge that much for them and IMO it is worth it. They can set it up for future children too so you don't need to redo it.

I told DH about this thread, and he told me that in New York, a will is invalid if it does not have two disinterested witnesses, who should fill out what are called 'self-proving affidavits' that need to be notarized.

If a will is improperly drafted or doesn't comply with all of NY's rules, the courts won't honor it.

If you die without a will, the state has a system to decide who gets what - including custody of your kids if your spouse dies before you.

DH told me that wills can have trusts built in to them for no extra charge that make sure your kids' money is managed for them until they hit a certain age that you decide.

Finally, he told me anyone who has kids is nuts if they don't get a will done - and he said that while it would be great if everyone on the board uses him :), even if you don't, you should have a qualified attorney do it for you.

Message edited 3/24/2006 6:47:56 PM.

Posted 3/24/06 5:45 PM
 

anon
where's winter?

Member since 11/05

2209 total posts

Name:

Re: Morbid but neccesary question

Message edited 2/8/2007 11:20:51 AM.

Posted 3/24/06 7:21 PM
 

lmb03
Stop kissing me!

Member since 5/05

2636 total posts

Name:
L

Re: Morbid but neccesary question

DH charges $750 for 2 will, including trust provisionsl 2 health care proxies, 2 living wills and 2 durable power of attorneys.

For just a will it is $500. He said those are pretty much the going rate.

Posted 3/24/06 7:55 PM
 
 

Potentially Related Topics:

Topic Posted By Started Replies Forum
Murder....Kind of a Morbid Question LadyMaravilla 6/15/06 20 Families Helping Families ™
Weird, kind of morbid question, with poll SoinLove 8/24/05 31 Families Helping Families ™
Kitchen Question...help me decide yankinmanc 8/15/06 6 Home
Dumb question about pregnancy weight gain.. MrsPorkChop 8/15/06 8 Pregnancy
JHS Question... MrsMerlot 8/15/06 9 Families Helping Families ™
first time homeowner w/ a question about income taxes??? TwoGirls4Me 8/15/06 4 Home
 
Quick navigation:   
Currently 61425 users on the LIFamilies.com Chat
New Businesses
1 More Rep
Carleton Hall of East Islip
J&A Building Services
LaraMae Health Coaching
Sonic Wellness
Julbaby Photography LLC
Ideal Uniforms
Teresa Geraghty Photography
Camelot Dream Homes
Long Island Wedding Boutique
MB Febus- Rodan & Fields
Camp Harbor
Market America-Shop.com
ACM Basement Waterproofing
Travel Tom

      Follow LIWeddings on Facebook

      Follow LIFamilies on Twitter
Long Island Bridal Shows