Moms of babies who need to be held all day...

How do you do it? How in the world do you go about your day? It seems Ava is becoming the type of baby who SCREAMS bloody murder when I put her down, even for a minute. I cannot even make bottles for her or get dressed or eat something because she just screams. She hates her swing now, hates her bouncy seat, hates her pack n play, etc. depending on her mood, she'll stay in the sling. I'm just out of ideas over here

Re: Moms of babies who need to be held all day...

rachel

you and i are going thru so much of the same thing!! we need to meet up and get a drink!

i just was able to put hannah down in her pack in play once i felt she was completely sleeping. i lift her arm and if it falls with out tension then i know its safe to put her down!

Re: Moms of babies who need to be held all day...

I was just going to suggest the sling... I use Sling Ezee by Parenting Concepts EVERY day and DH likes the Baby Bjorn... DD now at 3 1/2 months has gotten a "little" bit better at being put down for a few moments, maybe 15 here & there but the 1st few weeks we wore her in the sling ALL the time! It will get better

Re: Moms of babies who need to be held all day...

How old is she? Maybe if she is old enough, you could lt her cry a little, it's good for her lungs and body, also if you just hold her all day, then she expects it, and that makes it harder not to hold her all day.... does that make sence?

Re: Moms of babies who need to be held all day...

She's only 5 weeks old, and I'm not really ready to let her cry. Just not there yet for various reasons. The ironic thing is, as soon as I posted this, I tried her in her swing, and she stayed there for 20 minutes and I was able to shower Then, she started to cry, and I put her in her pack n play for a minute, and she's hanging out in there now
She must have known I was spreading the word that she's a difficult baby

Re: Moms of babies who need to be held all day...

Charlie was like this for the first six weeks or so. I felt like all I would do is nurse him and hold him. He even slept on me a lot and if I put him down would cry.

Its hard but it does get better. You just have to think that this is what she needs and by holding her you are comforting her. Your not spoiling her by holding her all the time. Her wants are simply her needs. What you need is help. I would have my mom and or grandmother come over and help me. People can help around the house, or hold her for a while so you can rest. She won't be like this forever - probably not even for much longer.

And you know what? I kind of miss that time now when he was in my arms all the time. Good luck!!

Re: Moms of babies who need to be held all day...

I didn't do much. I learned to nurse her while I was using the laptop and she would generally fall asleep while nursing so we would just stay put in the chair. I would also try to sleep when she slept because I couldn't do much else. I know its really frustrating but it does get easier. It's a phase and it will pass. I would just try to keep using the sling to get her adjusted, try different positions because that will be the easiest way to get your hands free if she can get used to that.

Re: Moms of babies who need to be held all day...

Posted by prncssrachel

She's only 5 weeks old, and I'm not really ready to let her cry. Just not there yet for various reasons. The ironic thing is, as soon as I posted this, I tried her in her swing, and she stayed there for 20 minutes and I was able to shower Then, she started to cry, and I put her in her pack n play for a minute, and she's hanging out in there now
She must have known I was spreading the word that she's a difficult baby

Re: Moms of babies who need to be held all day...

Message edited 2/8/2007 12:42:00 PM.

Re: Moms of babies who need to be held all day...

I am going to say, learn to deal with it and let her whimper. Otherwise you will have no life at all. For instance, now Noah is in his exersaucer, but he is moaning and wants me to pick him up...but guess what...he has to wait a few minutes.

Now that he is six months I realize, no baby has ever died of crying and I also find, if I put him down and he cries, if I ignore it, he will stop in a minute or two and find something to play with.

So nip this one in the bud early. Let her cry for a few minutes...you will get used to it!

Re: Moms of babies who need to be held all day...

For me, unknown fussiness really peaked at 5-6 weeks and during that time I would put on the bjorn and just go about my day.

Re: Moms of babies who need to be held all day...

I feel for you. I held her all the time for 4 months (then I went back to work and now somebody else holds her )

I had her strapped on a lot in the baby carrier, sometimes it was the only thing that consoled her.

Message edited 7/17/2006 12:00:14 PM.

Re: Moms of babies who need to be held all day...

She's been a little better the last two days because I upped the ounces we were feeding her, and she seems to not be screaming so much anymore. The dr. told me not to increase just yet, but screw him, my baby was hungry! Today has been a VAST improvement, though. She's exactly five weeks today, so who knows, maybe something in that baby brain of hers said, "Hey, freedom is good!"

Re: Moms of babies who need to be held all day...

Two things. First of all it will get better. Ellie seemed the same way for a while. We enlisted help. Everytime anyone wanted to come over and see her I was like absolutely we'd love to have you and as soon as they were in the door i'd hand her over for as long as they were willing to hold her. Second, what I was mistaking for being high maintenance and wanting to be held was really hunger so trust your instinct on upping the ounces. You're probably right. When I finally became suspicious and frustrated with teh crankiness and called the ped they told me it was probably a growth spurt and low and behold they were right. Ever since we started giving her more, no more crankiness or neediness. Know she's perfectly content to be by herself in the swing or bouncy seat for prolonged periods. good luck!

Re: Moms of babies who need to be held all day...

Rachel...It sounds like you are doing great. Sure most of us are new mom's but there is something to be said for a mother's instinct. No one will ever know you baby better than you will and honestly IMO I think it's best not to let her cry (kind of goes along with that article I posted the other day on spoiling). When she cries and you respond to her she will learn that she really only needs to cry when she needs something and she will get a great sense of security from that and in the end you will have a more independent baby that cries less. Miranda really isn't a crier and I held her non stop in the beginning. I never let her cry for a second and if someone else was holding her and she was crying I snactched her right back
Just think she spent 9 months growing inside you and has only been in this world for 5 short weeks. You are her biggest sense of safety and security. She is most familiar and comfortable in her mother's arms and believe me the day will come all too soon that all she will want to do is wiggle out of your arms and you will be wishing for the days where you could just hold her all day (I know I am.)

Re: Moms of babies who need to be held all day...

Does she take the passifier? You can try that. Does she let you swaddle her? Maybe try that and then put her in the bouncy seat and put it on vibrate?

I know when Katie was colicky she wanted to be held all the time too but hopefully your baby will grow out of it like Katie did.

Re: Moms of babies who need to be held all day...

I hate to say it, but I think babies were meant to be held! Hold her, try to enjoy it! When she is a teenager you will be saying...I wish I held her more.

I would type more, but my arm is dead from holding my six month old all day.

Re: Moms of babies who need to be held all day...

You have to find a happy medium. I had to hold Lyla (now 3) all the time for the longest time. Now, my younger one is almost 7 months and goes through her needy/fussy phases too. I hold her a lot when I can and when I have to get something done I do it as fast as I can so I can get to her if she needs me. I agree with others who say it goes SO fast, they will not want you to hold them forever. There is nothing wrong with holding them when you can, as much as you can. She will probably be my last and I WANT to hold her as much as possible right now. That does not mean that she sometimes has to stay in her high chair or excersaucer and cry or fuss a bit so that I can cook dinner, help the older one get dressed, take a shower etc. I alsways make sure she is positioned so that she can see me and I try to talk to her while I'm donig something. So, when I'm in the shower, she is in the excersaucer right outside the bathroom. When I'm cooking dinner she's in the highchair looking at me. It's all about timing and planning too so that you can get things done. If you have a high need baby, lower your expectations and standards as much as you can, I know it's hard!

Re: Moms of babies who need to be held all day...

Message edited 7/18/2006 5:06:51 PM.