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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Do you ever go out or away and DH is not invited?
If I have a girl's night, or go away with my sisters it is mainly due to the fact that DH is working or has school. I would never go away or out and say girls night only, mainly because I would not want it done to me.
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Posted 10/27/05 2:11 PM  |
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Leeners
:)
Member since 5/05 4898 total posts
Name:
Eileen
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Re: Do you ever go out or away and DH is not invited?
Of course I do. I have college friends that live out of state so I take a ride up there every couple of months for the night. We do dinner and drinks. Both of the friends are single - how obnoxious would I be if I brought my husband? And even more so if I never saw them because I couldn't bare to be apart from him for a night. We also do girl's dinners here with my girlfriends and last night i went out to dinner with old friends. He would have been bored to tears since all we did was talk about people we knew in the past and what they were up to now.
I think separate lives, to an extent, is a big part as to why our relationship works so well.
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| Posted 10/27/05 2:16 PM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Do you ever go out or away and DH is not invited?
I go out on girls nights, and he goes out on guys nights. I think that's healthy for us.
He doesn't work nights, and neither do I. I trust him completely and if he wants to go play poker with the guys for 5 hours (like he is tonight) I know it would be completely boring for me and I wouldn't want to be there. Likewise, I had a great girls dinner lately with some friends...It was so fun just being us. It is different without the guys.
Message edited 10/27/2005 2:18:27 PM.
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| Posted 10/27/05 2:17 PM |
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Kate
*****
Member since 5/05 7557 total posts
Name:
Kate
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Re: Do you ever go out or away and DH is not invited?
Posted by Leeners
Of course I do. I have college friends that live out of state so I take a ride up there every couple of months for the night. We do dinner and drinks. Both of the friends are single - how obnoxious would I be if I brought my husband? And even more so if I never saw them because I couldn't bare to be apart from him for a night. We also do girl's dinners here with my girlfriends and last night i went out to dinner with old friends. He would have been bored to tears since all we did was talk about people we knew in the past and what they were up to now.
I think separate lives, to an extent, is a big part as to why our relationship works so well.
I agree. I just went up to RI last weekend to see my old roommates. Sometimes we bring the husbands, sometimes we don't.
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| Posted 10/27/05 2:18 PM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: Do you ever go out or away and DH is not invited?
once in a blue moon
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| Posted 10/27/05 2:19 PM |
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Elbee
Zanzibar
Member since 5/05 10767 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Do you ever go out or away and DH is not invited?
Yes I think it's important to spend time with my friends without DH.
I go shopping or dinner with my cousins & girlfriends. He goes to dinner or coffee with his friends or coworkers.
Most weekends we do things together and the above is mostly week nights (except shopping, which would be a weekend day).
He doesn't mind and neither do I. It's very rare that we'll go to bars and stuff without each other, just because we're not drinkers or bar people to begin with so it's rare to even go, but if his friends are out, and I don't feel like going, I'll tell him to go for a while.
I don't understand what you wouldn't want done to you? Dh doesn't do anything to me, he's just going to see his friends, which I believe is important not just for him and his friends relationship but for our relatinship too.
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| Posted 10/27/05 2:19 PM |
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Shorty
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Member since 5/05 30390 total posts
Name:
really
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Re: Do you ever go out or away and DH is not invited?
Rarely, if ever.
I like when he's there.
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| Posted 10/27/05 2:20 PM |
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DjPiLL
Member since 5/05 3664 total posts
Name:
Richard
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Re: Do you ever go out or away and DH is not invited?
I am DJing anywhere from 3-5 nights a week right now. Does this count as nights away from my wife?
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| Posted 10/27/05 2:42 PM |
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Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it
Member since 5/05 30683 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Do you ever go out or away and DH is not invited?
when they have a guys night out, that is when we have a girls night out since all the husbands and wives are all friends
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| Posted 10/27/05 2:43 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Do you ever go out or away and DH is not invited?
Posted by Shorty
I like when he's there.
I feel the same, maybe since he works so much...but I could never leave and go out, and he might want to go, and say no, not this time. I go out a lot by myself, bars, weddings, vacations...he is always invited though.
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| Posted 10/27/05 2:45 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Do you ever go out or away and DH is not invited?
Posted by DjPiLL
I am DJing anywhere from 3-5 nights a week right now. Does this count as nights away from my wife?
no, DH bartends..I consider it work.
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| Posted 10/27/05 2:46 PM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Do you ever go out or away and DH is not invited?
Posted by Janice
Posted by Shorty
I like when he's there.
I feel the same, maybe since he works so much...but I could never leave and go out, and he might want to go, and say no, not this time. I go out a lot by myself, bars, weddings, vacations...he is always invited though.
I know my husband would never want to go with me on a girls only shopping trip or dinner though. I don't feel it's depriving him from doing something he would want to do. He's glad I'm not dragging him to girl movies or the outlets. 
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| Posted 10/27/05 2:47 PM |
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Boobobunny
Live in the Present
Member since 5/05 3572 total posts
Name:
Dannielle
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Re: Do you ever go out or away and DH is not invited?
DH does work alot...but usually when I hang out with the girls its once in a blue moon and planned out well in advance.
its nice sometimes to do things apart from each other...because them we appreciate the time we do spend together
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| Posted 10/27/05 2:48 PM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Do you ever go out or away and DH is not invited?
Absolutely. I have to have some time alone and if I am getting together with all female friends, it can be awkward for him to be there. It changes the dynamic. For a while one of my friends always brought her husband to the girls night things and it was odd, because he was the only guy there.
Also, I would love for him to go out more without me. I like to have time alone by myself more often. This is one of the biggest adjustments for me about being married. I lived alone for a long time and it's weird sometimes for me to never be home alone. I love him to death, but he is not my whole world. I have friends (or friend's husbands) and interests that he doesn't like. I would rather spend time with those people or doing those things without him, than deal with him being unhappy about coming with me, or not do them at all.
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| Posted 10/27/05 2:49 PM |
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JennChris
life moves fast
Member since 5/05 4225 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Do you ever go out or away and DH is not invited?
Posted by Shorty
Rarely, if ever.
I like when he's there.
same here
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| Posted 10/27/05 2:51 PM |
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BrunetteMom
LIF Adult
Member since 8/05 1480 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you ever go out or away and DH is not invited?
We mostly go out together but we have our alone nights/weekends together (with no kids) and we also have our nights when we may go out solo with our friends. I think it's perfectly okay and very healthy for our relationship.
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| Posted 10/27/05 2:52 PM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you ever go out or away and DH is not invited?
Yes. I go scrapbooking and out with the girls on average 2 - 3 times a month. He doesn't mind as long as it's not 3 nights in a row or like every single saturday.
I have gone away a few times with the girls since we have been together. It's part of what I did for the 10+ adult years I had before I met him.
ETA...I won't go someplace with the girls that DH & I really want to go to together for the first time ie...we both want to go to Chicago but I won't go with my sister before I go with him.
Message edited 10/27/2005 2:56:17 PM.
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| Posted 10/27/05 2:55 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Do you ever go out or away and DH is not invited?
I don't think it would do my marriage any justice if DH went out or I went out purposely solo. If I want to go to the mall, and DH is off, and doesn't feel like going, I will do something he wants to do. I would just go to the mall a day he is working. I want to spend all of our free time together. So if he has the night off, and I was planning on going out, I cancel on my friends in a heartbeat.
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| Posted 10/27/05 2:57 PM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Do you ever go out or away and DH is not invited?
Posted by Janice
So if he has the night off, and I was planning on going out, I cancel on my friends in a heartbeat.
See, I don't know if most of the women on here would do that. Your marriage seems more old-fashioned, which is great, but I wouldn't drop my friends in a second to spend time with DH. I took my vows to DH, but I never want to lose my own identity and friends. I'm glad we're in an era where I can be an independent woman.
Message edited 10/27/2005 3:05:11 PM.
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| Posted 10/27/05 3:02 PM |
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BrunetteMom
LIF Adult
Member since 8/05 1480 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you ever go out or away and DH is not invited?
Posted by nov04libride
Posted by Janice
So if he has the night off, and I was planning on going out, I cancel on my friends in a heartbeat.
See, I don't know if most of the women on here would do that. Your marriage seems more old-fashioned, which is great, but I wouldn't drop my friends in a second to spend time with DH. I took my vows to DH, but I never want to lose my own identity and friends. I'm glad we're in an era where I can be an independent woman, and not expected to wait on DH or drop all my other hobbies or friends to be with him.
You put it so perfectly! Thank you!
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| Posted 10/27/05 3:05 PM |
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ckdk
My girls
Member since 5/05 7027 total posts
Name:
Cheryl
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Re: Do you ever go out or away and DH is not invited?
Posted by nov04libride
Posted by Janice
So if he has the night off, and I was planning on going out, I cancel on my friends in a heartbeat.
See, I don't know if most of the women on here would do that. Your marriage seems more old-fashioned, which is great, but I wouldn't drop my friends in a second to spend time with DH. I took my vows to DH, but I never want to lose my own identity and friends. I'm glad we're in an era where I can be an independent woman.
Agreed.
DH works a lot too and I like to spend time with him as much as possible, but if i have plans, such is life... we have a lot of years together...
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| Posted 10/27/05 3:12 PM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you ever go out or away and DH is not invited?
Posted by Janice
So if he has the night off, and I was planning on going out, I cancel on my friends in a heartbeat.
My preferences for free time are a bit different from before I got married, but I can't see just canceling on my friendsbecause something better (DH) came along at the last minute.
I would hate to be treated that way by a friend. 
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| Posted 10/27/05 3:12 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Do you ever go out or away and DH is not invited?
My friends love Leo and totally understand. Sometimes he is the only guy out with us and it is not awkard at all.
I sometimes think we are old fashion, but then in a sense, I think we may be more modern. We both work long days, and have to adjust to that. I think money plays a role in it as well. If I am going out to meet up with people, I would much rather go out to dinner with DH. So I cancel and go out for a nice dinner with my love. My friends are fine with it, I would be fine if they cancelled with me.
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| Posted 10/27/05 3:17 PM |
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Re: Do you ever go out or away and DH is not invited?
As much as I truly love DH and love being with him, I need time to myself. I like to do things like go to the mall alone sometimes (he does not mind) or do a "girls night" thing. He seems to feel the same as I do that being apart and missing each other a little is not a bad thing. He's never had a problem with my very rare GNO.
I lived alone for years pre-DH, and enjoyed it. He too lived alone. I have been in situations where DH has had to leave me alone, and I sort of like it. It's good for me. Heaven forbid something ever happens and I find myself really alone again, I want to be able to deal with it and know I can take care of myself.
And frankly, if DH wanted to do a "guys weekend" that would be fine. His friends are all decent guys so while there might be some piggish things going on I know I would not have to stress about hookers or farm animals or anything crazy.
Because of our move, neither of us gets to see much of our friends, and that's not a good thing.
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| Posted 10/27/05 3:17 PM |
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Ali1
Mommy
Member since 8/05 3116 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you ever go out or away and DH is not invited?
I usually go out once a week without DH - either with famiy or a girls night out. My DH totally is fine with it, as i am with him going out with the guys. We do a lot of couple things too but sometimes for my own sanity i need to go out with my girlfriends. And my girlfriends are awesome too because most of them are married but we all feel the same way. I would feel like i am losing my identity if i didn't do that.
Heck some nights if we are both out with friends at a bar and one of us wants to go home early, the other one will leave. We usually stay local so its not a big deal. We totally trust one another and value our independence at the same time.
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| Posted 10/27/05 3:22 PM |
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