Thinking about what I am going to do work-wise when I have the baby and so upsetting.....

Dh is a cop. Unfortunatley his hours are not always steady especially if he gets an arrest and doesnt come home for a day or 2. His tours are always changing and his days off. At the same time, I can't see paying to put my child in day care b/c it is soooo expensive. I dont want to rely on my family to watch the baby being we live in nassau and they live in suffolk which is a far commute. The thought I had was that I would stay home and being I love children, taught pre-school for years, and baby-sat since I was 10, I would watch 1 or 2 children in our home. My neightbor is home with twin 2 yr. old girls so it would be perfect. The kids could play together all day. I dont have to worry about benefits b/c we have great benefits throught DH's job. But oddly enough, so many people think I am crazy. My parents said "we didn't put you through 4 yrs. of college to sit home and baby-sit!" W-T-F!!!! But at the same time, people make you feel bad if you even suggest putting your child in day care and they tell you horror stories. I feel like it is a lose-lose situation! People are making me feel bad if I stay home and "give-up" my job, and people make me feel bad at the thought of having someone else watching my baby.

Message edited 8/11/2006 10:35:50 AM.

Re: Thinking about what I am going to do work-wise when I have the baby and so upsetting.....

I think if that is what you want to do than too bad to everyone else!! You can go back to working when your kids start school.

Re: Thinking about what I am going to do work-wise when I have the baby and so upsetting.....

So sorry people r making u feel bad

You need to do what's best for you and your family and that's a decision u make with DH. it's no one else business what you guys decide to do with your family.

I know it's hard, but just tune them out!

Re: Thinking about what I am going to do work-wise when I have the baby and so upsetting.....

u have to do what U want to do!! dont listen to anyone - it is your decision and Dhs.

i know how u feel DH is also a cop. i've decided to only come back part time. if u can afford to not work and want to stay home - there is nothing wrong with that. (just like there is nothing wrong with daycare). DONT LET ANYONE GUILT U INTO ANYTHING - FOLLOW YOUR HEART!!!

Re: Thinking about what I am going to do work-wise when I have the baby and so upsetting.....

I think your solution sounds perfect. Why do people have to be so negative? Don't listen to them. Hopefully it won't be a problem for you to go back to your current career when the time is right. Right now you need to do what's best for you and your family and your idea sounds like it is exactly what's best for everyone. Try not to let the negative people influence you. Only you and DH know what's best and you both need to make the decision (not them.)

Good luck!!

Re: Thinking about what I am going to do work-wise when I have the baby and so upsetting.....

Posted by jellybean1420

Dh is a cop. Unfortunatley his hours are not always steady especially if he gets an arrest and doesnt come home for a day or 2. His tours are always changing and his days off. At the same time, I can't see paying to put my child in day care b/c it is soooo expensive. I dont want to rely on my family to watch the baby being we live in nassau and they live in suffolk which is a far commute. The thought I had was that I would stay home and being I love children, taught pre-school for years, and baby-sat since I was 10, I would watch 1 or 2 children in our home. My neightbor is home with twin 2 yr. old girls so it would be perfect. The kids could play together all day. I dont have to worry about benefits b/c we have great benefits throught DH's job. But oddly enough, so many people think I am crazy. My parents said "we didn't put you through 4 yrs. of college to sit home and baby-sit!" W-T-F!!!! But at the same time, people make you feel bad if you even suggest putting your child in day care and they tell you horror stories. I feel like it is a lose-lose situation! People are making me feel bad if I stay home and "give-up" my job, and people make me feel bad at the thought of having someone else watching my baby.

Re: Thinking about what I am going to do work-wise when I have the baby and so upsetting.....

You have to do what is best for you and your solution sounds great!! It is very hard to decide what to do. I am going to have to go the daycare route and am so saddened by it.

These decisions are so difficult - no one should make you feel bad about it.

Re: Thinking about what I am going to do work-wise when I have the baby and so upsetting.....

Posted by stickydust

You have to do what is best for you and your solution sounds great!! It is very hard to decide what to do. I am going to have to go the daycare route and am so saddened by it.

These decisions are so difficult - no one should make you feel bad about it.

Re: Thinking about what I am going to do work-wise when I have the baby and so upsetting.....

We have had the same issues. It is such a hard decision and a very personal one. You have to do what is right for your family and what other people think really doesn't matter. There is plenty of time to use your degree when the kids are in school. Hang in there, you will make the right decision

Re: Thinking about what I am going to do work-wise when I have the baby and so upsetting.....

Unfortunately, I think most of us moms-to-be get some unsolicated advice on what we should do. Try to put the imaginary earplugs in and don't let it bother you. You and your DH know what's best for your situation.

Good luck!

Re: Thinking about what I am going to do work-wise when I have the baby and so upsetting.....

you do whatever is best for your immediate family. my DH took a better job but has to commute to jersey for eastern suffolk almost everyday but the pay is good and lets me stay home with our son and soon to be daughter but everone has something to say about it. we have just learned to ignore it.

Re: Thinking about what I am going to do work-wise when I have the baby and so upsetting.....

I think if you want to stay home and you can afford to, then who cares what others say. Everything is so expensive now that if you get to stay home with your kids you're lucky! Me personally I wanted to be home with my kids and watch them grow up, and luckily we can afford for me to stay home.

Re: Thinking about what I am going to do work-wise when I have the baby and so upsetting.....

I have been thinking about doing the exact same thing. DH is a restaurant manager, so he also works fri/sat nights. I wanted to start out by being sort of a weekend babysitter. To get my feet wet.

I think it is a great idea. My mother said she hates the fact that if I do it full time during the day, kids will be at my house while Leo is sleeping or getting ready for work.

Re: Thinking about what I am going to do work-wise when I have the baby and so upsetting.....

Posted by stickydust

You have to do what is best for you and your solution sounds great!! It is very hard to decide what to do. I am going to have to go the daycare route and am so saddened by it.

These decisions are so difficult - no one should make you feel bad about it.