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Stefanie
♥
Member since 5/05 23599 total posts
Name:
Stefanie
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Lending friends money
I gave money to a friend in November ($600) and she told me that she would pay me 100 per month until she paid it off. I said fine. Well, now it's March and I have received 0 dollars. I have heard a million excuses about why she can't give it back and the latest is she's waiting for her tax return to come in and she'll pay me off completely.
I don't know what to do....I felt so bad when she told me that she needed the money but now I'm frustrated.... I don't want this to ruin our friendship...
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Posted 2/28/06 11:00 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Lending friends money
i think i would just keep giving reminders
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| Posted 2/28/06 11:02 PM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: Lending friends money
I guess the advice I've always gotten is don't "lend" friends money. If you can give it to them and not expect it back then fine but often lending money ruins friendships.
Sorry you are going through this. Hopefully she comes through and pays you back in full.
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| Posted 2/28/06 11:02 PM |
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nancygrace
I'm 2!
Member since 9/05 6616 total posts
Name:
Live*Love*Laugh
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Re: Lending friends money
i think u should send her a bill 
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| Posted 2/28/06 11:03 PM |
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Stefanie
♥
Member since 5/05 23599 total posts
Name:
Stefanie
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Re: Lending friends money
I've given her money before and she paid it back plus some more, that's why I didn't think twice...
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| Posted 2/28/06 11:03 PM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: Lending friends money
Posted by Stefanie
I've given her money before and she paid it back plus some more, that's why I didn't think twice...
Oh. Well hopefully her tax return money comes your way soon. 
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| Posted 2/28/06 11:04 PM |
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Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
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Re: Lending friends money
My mom always said that lending friends money can end up where you lose the $ AND the friend.
At least you've learned your lesson with this one: don't lend that friend money.
I know you felt bad, and wanted to help her out, but she's going back on her word. I think it's effed up when a person takes advantage of a friend and thinks that it's ok to keep changing her word on you, because a friend is more flexible than let's say Credit Cards. Whether it's $50 or $5,000, a debt is a debt, and your friend should be responsible about it.
Knowing me, and how I've been burned, I would talk to her about it after I got my $... it could turn out two ways:
1-She'll know never to ask you for $ again (a PLUS in my book after that experience)
2-She'll know the "rules" and make sure not to burn you again.
Good luck!
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| Posted 3/1/06 7:59 AM |
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LAMGAJ28
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Member since 10/05 6039 total posts
Name:
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Re: Lending friends money
You are being a good friend and I feel you just need to let your friend know on the basis that the money was given to her.
When I "lend" something to anyone, I feel if it's lending it should be paid back. It's a though situation when you lend to friends. Hopefully she will pay you back when she receives her refund from her taxes......
I always have a thought of this...if anyone borrows money from me and they don't pay me back...to me..that's how much they are worth it and it was better to find out that way than any other way......
I hope you get your money soon !!!
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| Posted 3/1/06 8:10 AM |
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dooodles
When you wish upon a star
Member since 5/05 11997 total posts
Name:
Because 2 people fell in love
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Re: Lending friends money
Posted by Stefanie
I've given her money before and she paid it back plus some more, that's why I didn't think twice...
If this is the first time she is flaking out, maybe she really is having troubles. Which of course should not be made to be your problem. I think the only thing to do is continue to remind her.
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| Posted 3/1/06 8:42 AM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: Lending friends money
I don't lend friends money unless I don't care whether I get it back or not just because of what you are going through. I'm sorry and I hope you get your money without it ruining the friendship.
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| Posted 3/1/06 8:46 AM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Lending friends money
Since she has always come through in the past and is expecting her tax refund to cover it, I would give her the benefit of the doubt. I would ask her when she filed her return so you know about when to anticipate the money back.
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| Posted 3/1/06 8:59 AM |
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baghag
:P
Member since 5/05 10278 total posts
Name:
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Re: Lending friends money
Posted by Christine
Since she has always come through in the past and is expecting her tax refund to cover it, I would give her the benefit of the doubt. I would ask her when she filed her return so you know about when to anticipate the money back.
Agree, buyt i would also not lend her money anymore.
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| Posted 3/1/06 9:11 AM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
Name:
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Re: Lending friends money
Posted by shamrock12472
I don't lend friends money unless I don't care whether I get it back or not just because of what you are going through.
I'm the same way.
Honestly, if I were you and you care more about the friendship than the $600, I would write it off. But don't tell her that. Consider the money gone, as far as you are concerned. Remind her every once in awhile so she doesn't think you've let it slide, and hopefully she will pay you back after the tax return, or eventually.
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| Posted 3/1/06 9:15 AM |
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jmf423
:)
Member since 5/05 6372 total posts
Name:
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Re: Lending friends money
I am in a similar situation with DH's cousin-who is a very good friend of mine. It is going on a year now since she borrowed $800 from us.......I recently told DH to just write-it off as gone. I don't want to cause tension and I have totally learned from this mistake!! Nobody gets lent $!! Unless of course it is my siblings or something like that. I have lent $ to her and others in the past and always got it back. And it is the same way-there is always an excuse as to why we haven't seen the $
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| Posted 3/1/06 9:55 AM |
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oakslady
LIF Adult
Member since 8/05 969 total posts
Name:
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Re: Lending friends money
i never lend friends money
if you cant afford to give it to them then dont even go there - it isnt worth it - and having to remind people constantly gets on my nerves
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| Posted 3/1/06 10:29 AM |
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raken40
soooo in love:)
Member since 5/05 4369 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: Lending friends money
advice for the future- dont do it!
My DH and one of his best friends stopped speaking last year over this.. Our friend never paid back the money, always made up excuses and now I've heard from other people that he feels like a fool, and he's embarrased to call my DH!
so...i dont think we'll ever do it again..
I've heard that if you lend money to someone- dont expect to get it back! unfortunately 
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| Posted 3/1/06 11:08 AM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Lending friends money
Posted by monkeybride
I guess the advice I've always gotten is don't "lend" friends money. If you can give it to them and not expect it back then fine but often lending money ruins friendships.
This is my motto too. I hope you get it back.
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| Posted 3/1/06 12:30 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Lending friends money
Posted by Stefanie
I've given her money before and she paid it back plus some more, that's why I didn't think twice...
This is exactly the reason you shouldn't lend her money. She's obviously not good with managing her money. I know you want to help her out but you have your own responsibilities.
My bf has exactly the same problem in terms of lending everyone money. She earns a very good living. People take advantage of her. She feels bad about asking for it (because she really doesn't "need" it). I've explained to her that it's not the point. It's disrespectful of them not to pay her back.
I would ask when she expects to get her tax return $ back. When the time frame is up, I'd ask one more time. After that I'd consider it as lost money. You can still consider her a good friend, but a poor financial risk. If she asks again for a loan, I would tell her you're sorry but you can't. No need to explain why.
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| Posted 3/1/06 1:12 PM |
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