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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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sort of spinoff - keeping things from others
does anyone in your family or a friend do this? for example, they don't tell a certain person something that happened or is happening b./c they think they are protecting that person? my mil can be like this and i think it does more harm then good. my family is not like this, not that we talk about every little thing, but things that need to be discussed are discussed.
thoughts?
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Posted 8/30/06 12:18 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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lorich
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Member since 6/05 9987 total posts
Name:
Grammie says "Lora Gina"
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Re: sort of spinoff - keeping things from others
OMG this is a HUGE problem I have with DH's family. They do this ALL the time.
IMHO...it's lying!
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| Posted 8/30/06 12:19 PM |
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eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: sort of spinoff - keeping things from others
My inlaws have 4 adopted kids - they've never been told. I think it's horrible. One of them thought something was up and actually accused my MIL of cheating on my FIL because of the difference in their skin color. He was maybe 9 or 10 at the time. I hope they handle it well when they learn the truth, if they ever do.
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| Posted 8/30/06 12:20 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: sort of spinoff - keeping things from others
Posted by eroxgirl
My inlaws have 4 adopted kids - they've never been told. I think it's horrible. One of them thought something was up and actually accused my MIL of cheating on my FIL because of the difference in their skin color. He was maybe 9 or 10 at the time. I hope they handle it well when they learn the truth, if they ever do.
what? that is ridiculous. what is the harm in telling them they are adopted? and it is lying.
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| Posted 8/30/06 12:23 PM |
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MikesWife
Wanting...........
Member since 1/06 6887 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: sort of spinoff - keeping things from others
I think that nobody knows there family better than each other.
IMHO - I don't think that everyone needs to know everything.
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| Posted 8/30/06 12:25 PM |
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Ambersmom
Straight up nasty
Member since 5/05 7740 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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Re: sort of spinoff - keeping things from others
It happens alot in husband's family. They don't tell FIL anything because they claim he's "ill" and can't handle it. Like MIL wanted me to "lie" about how bad the house was when we originally bought it, etc. However, oneday when were all together and MIL decided to make some stupid comment about how we really didn't have to do much other than carpet and paint, I busted out the photographic history we had on the progress and specificically pointed out to FIL "Oh yes, this is when we had the fire, this is when we had the wind damage, etc.". You should have seen MIL's face!!
When she does decide to "disclose" some family drama, she has to call a freaking town meeting. It's all so melodramatic, I would rather NOT know what's going on
My family is an open book. We spread the news faster than the AP. EXCEPT to my 95 year old Grandmother because she's a little wacky and plays post office with whatever we tell her. It goes from "Anthony went to the hospital due to a sprained ankle" to "Anthony is in critical care and they've read him last rights". Sooo not worth it!!
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| Posted 8/30/06 12:25 PM |
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LisaW
Time for me to FLY!
Member since 5/05 13199 total posts
Name:
Did I ever tell you that I hate people?
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Re: sort of spinoff - keeping things from others
My family has a tendency to so this with me...
Like when my cousins wife was pg, everyone kept it from me until she was just about to give birth.
Or, if my grandparents are sick, or having minor surgery, etc.
I don't know why they feel I am so fragile.
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| Posted 8/30/06 12:26 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: sort of spinoff - keeping things from others
Posted by MikesWife
I think that nobody knows there family better than each other.
IMHO - I don't think that everyone needs to know everything.
i agree on that not everyone needs to know everything. but at the same time, to keep someone from someone regarding someone they care about, that is just messed up.
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| Posted 8/30/06 12:26 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: sort of spinoff - keeping things from others
My mom tries to keep certain things from my dad, because he gets very upset about things and won't eat and he's a diabetic. I personally tell him anything I want if I feel he has a right to know. Sometimes it pizzes my mom off. 
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| Posted 8/30/06 12:38 PM |
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MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: sort of spinoff - keeping things from others
Yes. it really irks me.
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| Posted 8/30/06 12:55 PM |
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Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: sort of spinoff - keeping things from others
that about sums up my family
my sister was not told all the details of my mom's illness and it made her dealth harder to deal with
Jake always says all my family does is lie about things to protect us- but still a lie
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| Posted 8/30/06 1:00 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: sort of spinoff - keeping things from others
yes, DH and I keep a lot of stuff from his mom. mostly because she's got a big mouth and we don't want her telling everyone  we learned the hard way! 
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| Posted 8/30/06 1:03 PM |
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maybaby
LIF Infant
Member since 10/05 195 total posts
Name:
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Re: sort of spinoff - keeping things from others
Posted by lorich
OMG this is a HUGE problem I have with DH's family. They do this ALL the time.
IMHO...it's lying!
same here
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| Posted 8/30/06 1:12 PM |
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Re: sort of spinoff - keeping things from others
In my family, no. I love how open and honest we all are but the IL's are like that. I guess every family is different.
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| Posted 8/30/06 1:14 PM |
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ODonnell
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Member since 9/05 5983 total posts
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Re: sort of spinoff - keeping things from others
This is my family. It began with my mother, but I see that I now have a tendancy to do the same. Sometimes I have to think twice before I say something to other family members in case it's something they are not supposed to know DH doesn't get it, but he'll get used to it.
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| Posted 8/30/06 1:18 PM |
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Akajt98
Sooo Excited
Member since 6/06 2252 total posts
Name:
Jill
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Re: sort of spinoff - keeping things from others
My DH's family are famous for this. They are sales people and I think it comes natural. Don't get me wrong, I totally love them....but I get very tired of trying to decipher what part of the story I am missing, wondering what is being kept from me, and wondering if it is ok to talk about things that others might not be aware of. I have kinda come to terms with it and let it roll off my back as best as possible, but it is sometimes really frustrating and even upsetting. Sometimes I get to the point where I want to cut all communcation off, but I think then I would be hurting myself and DH.
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| Posted 8/30/06 1:26 PM |
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Phyl
R.I.P. Sweet Mia ♥
Member since 5/06 28918 total posts
Name:
The Mystical Azzhorse! ™
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Re: sort of spinoff - keeping things from others
My Mom does this all the time! I hate finding out stuff like family illness etc after it has been going on for awhile.I'd rather know up front than find out later.
Message edited 8/30/2006 1:41:42 PM.
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| Posted 8/30/06 1:41 PM |
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LadyMaravilla
Fall Is Here
Member since 5/05 12023 total posts
Name:
Sonia
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Re: sort of spinoff - keeping things from others
Of course I do.....my MIL!!!!!!!!! She then gets caught in these little lies and does not make herself look good.
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| Posted 8/30/06 1:41 PM |
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