Had 6 month visit yesterday- thoughts on this please

Our ped is kind of harsh, but we were talking about bad habits and breaking them. He is all for CIO but with out the going in every 15, then 20 min etc.
He feels that makes it worse. He also said take her binky away
and get rid of her night time feeding by letting her CIO.
When she was little and sleeping in our arms his answer was- you are in survival mode, do what you have to do to get sleep, we deal with bad habits later. Before 6 months is too young to let her cry.
So last night, he said it is time to let her cry, and said do it now, because at 6 months it takes a few days to break bad habits, at 8 or 9 months it takes weeks.

So what do you guys think about that? Do you agree, especially those with older babies?

(btw, I do not have the heart to take her binky away)

Re: Had 6 month visit yesterday- thoughts on this please

I don't agree but that is just my opinio. Every baby is different and you can't have one approach for all. My friends baby is laid back and he will be content anywhere. Even when he is hungry he just whines never even really cries. My son on the other hand cries really hard tears and all since he has been 2 months old. I would never take his binky away until he is ready unless for a medical reason. He loves it. Some babies just have a stronger sucking reflex and they use it to relax.

Do what you feel is right and feel confortable with. I never let him CIO either he would be too hysterical! I am not saying with my next I won't ...depending on the temperment of the baby you do what is right for you. HTH

Re: Had 6 month visit yesterday- thoughts on this please

I'm having the exact same issue with myself. Peyton likes her binky but only for nap time. I really don't like that she has it but if it soothes her, what's the big deal. I read somewhere that it is easier to break the habit now than later. So I too don't know what I should do. Part of me is saying just deal w/the three day rule and break the habit. But it's going to be a long 3 days (lol).

The bottom line is you are her mother and if you don't have a problem with her having the binky, let her have it. The pediatrician is just telling you his opinion - it's not law and you should do what you feel best with.

Re: Had 6 month visit yesterday- thoughts on this please

I don't agree with that. She is only 6 months old and I think that doing all those things at once are going to do nothing more than confuse and upset not only you and your husband, but her as well. I would try and nip one thing at a time... but doing that all at once is just ridiculous and insane IMO

Re: Had 6 month visit yesterday- thoughts on this please

I believe that every baby is different and every mother is different in her approach to parenting esp CIO. In my case, I implemented the CIO method 2 weeks ago and the first night was very hard and I made my DH go in every 10, 15, 20 min... and i have to say that it did make it worse. Jacob cried even louder and the crying continued longer. The first night it took 45 min. Someone suggested to me to not go in at all. So i bought a video monitor and the next night i was alone (DH works nights) and i went for it. I let him cry and didnt go in. He cried for 20 min. It was hard but i made it. The next night he cried for 5 min... and the best part is that he slept from 7/7:30pm until 4 am and woke for a feeding. When i was done with the feeding i would put him down again, kiss him, rub his head for a min, and leave. He would fuss or cry for maybe 5-10 min and back to sleep again until 7/7:30 or sometimes 8am.

So for me it worked. He got the message that i was not coming in so he gave up on the crying after a short period. I would not however take away his binky.

There are some nights when i miss the window of sleepiness and he crosses over into overtiredness and then yes it takes longer for him to stop crying but i know its just cause he's overtired and is fighting sleep. Being able to see him on the vidoe monitor makes it so much better. I know that he is fine, not smmothering himself with his face into the mattress or smacking his head into the crib slats.

I still give him his last bottle in my arms in the glider and rock him while i feed him. That I am not ready to give up. But when he is done feeding, and burped, is when i place him down, asleep or awake. And i leave.

I have to say for me, it is a miracle. I have been able to get at least 7-8 hrs of sleep a night now. And waking up once is so much better than every hour to 2 hrs. Every whine he made i was in by his side. And i'm not sleeping on his floor anymore. It made a world of difference for me. Good luck!! I know it is so hard.

Re: Had 6 month visit yesterday- thoughts on this please

I agree with the pp - I wouldn't take her binky away. It's too much too soon.

I responded in your other post about this too - I am going to let DD CIO now because I feel like she is waking out of habit.

Re: Had 6 month visit yesterday- thoughts on this please

I don't agree at all and personally I would not be able to keep going to that doctor but that is probably because I am not an advocate of CIO and could never let my daughter cry more than a couple of minutes.
Personally I think you have to do what feels right to you as a mom not what someone else tells you is the right thing to do. I'm sure I am making some bad habits but I'll be the one to suffer not my doctor so I feel like it's mine and DH's decision to make.

Re: Had 6 month visit yesterday- thoughts on this please

I agree 100% that it only takes a few days to break a habit during infancy. Once they're older it will take weeks. At 20 months old, Joseph gave up his pacifier & we threw them all away. He was a miserable, cranky little SOB for TWO FULL WEEKS. He would thrash around at bedtime and scream like a madman. Broke my heart completely. I would have gone back to it if I had them available.

I would definitely try what he's suggesting. A lot of moms have had CIO success. As long as there is no medical reason for her to not sleep in her crib or through the night, the only other reason remains is emotional.

Hope this helps.

Re: Had 6 month visit yesterday- thoughts on this please

I agree 100000000000%

You know I took Talia's paci away at 4 months - she didn't miss it at all!! (I did, but that's another story!) Why not try it - it can't hurt.

I thikn you should go in every 15, 20, 25 minutes...but only while you are in the training stage - after that it only makes it worse and there is no reason.

In the beginning you need to be strict...but after a while you can ease up. (For example Talia woke at 9:30 last night for no reason - would NOT go back to sleep - so I went in there - picked her up changed her diaper gave her a little massage and put her down - she went right back to sleep - NOW she can handle that and it doesn't become a habit - but when she was younger I would never have done it - make sense?)


ETA: Maybe its time to try to get her attached to a blanket or doll - Talia has one she CANNOT sleep without. In a way it takes the place of the binky (Although she doesn't use it all day long)

I have to wonder with pacifiers (Speaking from experience) who is attached to them more - us or the kids? Trust me the kids dont miss them as much as you think they will when they are young.
Just remember - every day that you wait - it gets harder and harder.....think of how wonderful you will feel when you are in control of the situations - not Katie.

Message edited 5/25/2006 10:09:26 AM.

Re: Had 6 month visit yesterday- thoughts on this please

Posted by sunny

Our ped is kind of harsh, but we were talking about bad habits and breaking them. He is all for CIO but with out the going in every 15, then 20 min etc.
He feels that makes it worse. He also said take her binky away
and get rid of her night time feeding by letting her CIO.
When she was little and sleeping in our arms his answer was- you are in survival mode, do what you have to do to get sleep, we deal with bad habits later. Before 6 months is too young to let her cry.
So last night, he said it is time to let her cry, and said do it now, because at 6 months it takes a few days to break bad habits, at 8 or 9 months it takes weeks.

So what do you guys think about that? Do you agree, especially those with older babies?

(btw, I do not have the heart to take her binky away)

Re: Had 6 month visit yesterday- thoughts on this please

I agree with MrsR. I wish I had CIO when Sidney was 5-6 months old. Before she could stand up in the crib.

We are CIOing again because she was sick and got real used to the nightime feedings. Last night when I went in to rub her back she actually was saying "buu buu" (This is what she says when she points to my Boob). So I caved and fed her.

It is really hard but when it works - you won't regret it.

I'll be stronger tonight.

Re: Had 6 month visit yesterday- thoughts on this please

Honestly I would find a new ped. When Molly's ped said to me that if I was able to nurse she would have stopped me at 1 year and she was glad that I had stopped pumping I said to her "Well that is really my choice, not yours" and never saw her again. Especially since the World Health Organization promotes BFing in the second year.

I don't believe in CIO so if you don't either than don't do it. Even Ferber is not taking such a strong stance and believes that different babies have different needs. I also don't believe in doing sooo much at once. If you are going to take away the pacifer, then don't do CIO the same night too. You can try to see if she even cares about the pacifer. She may surprise you and not really look for it.
I guess I just think that at 6 months old a baby is a baby and I want to cater a bit to that and not make them grow up so fast. JMO, of course.

Re: Had 6 month visit yesterday- thoughts on this please

Re: Had 6 month visit yesterday- thoughts on this please

Re: Had 6 month visit yesterday- thoughts on this please

Every doctor says something different, so I think you should do what you are comfortable with. For example, our ped. told us we should take away the night feeding and do CIO at 8 weeks and said the same thing about it being so much harder when they are older! Well, we tried taking away the feeding at about 9-10 weeks, and it worked...but we never let him CIO at that point. Eventually I did a modified version of CIO, which also worked. I never did get around to taking away the binky, which I regret. Now at 20 months, we JUST took it away cold turkey last week - he is one unhappy camper right now! I should have done it much earlier....but oh well. Good luck and do what you feel is best!

Re: Had 6 month visit yesterday- thoughts on this please

Taking a binky away when you are trying to change her sleeping habits is asking for trouble. It's too much at once and it sounds kind of mean to me. JMO. When we stopped the middle-of-the-night feeding we did it by gradually adding water to her botlle every night until it's all water. Then it's not worth waking up for. DH and I take things pretty slow w/ DD, but I have no regrets. My ped would NEVER tell us to do anything we are uncomfortable with. They take things slow too. It's important that your Ped match your parenting style at least MOST of the time.

Re: Had 6 month visit yesterday- thoughts on this please

I agree, I am not doing it all at one time.

I don't need to change my ped, I actually really like him and trust him with my daughters medical issues, which are more important to me then if I agree with his parenting style.

Re: Had 6 month visit yesterday- thoughts on this please

Re: Had 6 month visit yesterday- thoughts on this please

I agree- however- Im a big binky fan.... and dont plan on taking it away until after his 1st b-day....


It does get harder... as they get older...

I did CIO with Ryan @ 4 months.... then @ 6 months we went away on vacation, then when we came home- he had a bad cold... so ALL night time routines went out the window....

Well- when I began CIO again- it was much more difficult than the 1st time....

As far as going into the room.... if you feel more comfortable going in after 5, then after 10, then after 15.... and just shushing and maybe rubbing her belly for a min. than do so....Everyone does different versions of CIO... .you gotta do what works best for your child...

And for the night time feeding.... at this age... it is done outta habit... unless you feel shes not getting enough during the day... then I say its perfectly fine to toss it!

Re: Had 6 month visit yesterday- thoughts on this please

I started limiting Joseph's binky to just nap times and that transition worked fine. Always remember, what works for 1 mom may not work for the next. He's 8 mos old and still wakes for nighttime feedings. I have never and will never try CIO. If he needs to eat he needs to eat. It's just what works for us.

Re: Had 6 month visit yesterday- thoughts on this please

Steph - when it comes down to it - you have to do what is good for you - regardless of what your dr. says, or what we say. BUT - if it is a problem (her sleeping) if she isn't happy - and you aren't happy, and you can't live with it the way it is - I urge you to find a solution that does work for you. It will make you a happier mom - and her a happier baby.

Re: Had 6 month visit yesterday- thoughts on this please

I took the binky away at 4.5 months. I wasn't a big fan and neither was he. he didn't miss it at all.

Re: Had 6 month visit yesterday- thoughts on this please

the best thing to do is what you feel comfortable with. But FYI- I started around 8-9 months of only letting him have the paci for sleep and by 1 year he easily gave it up.

Re: Had 6 month visit yesterday- thoughts on this please

Re: Had 6 month visit yesterday- thoughts on this please

When I began sleep training my daughter was using a pacifier. After a two days I decided to take it away -- going in to give it back was causing more trouble than good. When we took it away we found she wasn't crying for more time than she cried without it. So, keep an open mind and see how it goes. Sure it sounds rough to do both at once, but think of it as pulling off a bandaid quickly. It will hurt, but just for a short time...



Good luck to you!