CIO question

No flames please- this is an innocent, honest question from a mom who is still losing it!

She is 3 months old, and I am not willing to let her CIO, I think she is too young and I couldn't handle it.

But I do need to teach her to fall asleep on her own and that I won't hold her all the time, mostly because I am going back to work and I know day care isn't going to hold her all day like I do.

So my question is, if I put her down to sleep, but I stay next to her the whole time without picking her up and talk to her and hold her hand and stuff (I know she will scream), is that the same as CIO? Is it torture for her? And is it mean because I know picking her up will make her stop crying?

And if I do finally pick her up because I can't stand it, does that make it all for nothing?

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No flames here. I think it's a great question and I'd like to know too.

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I can't speak to CIO, but have you tried white noise? That really helps Sarah tune out a lot of what's going on. We live on a corner and one street is pretty busy - delivery trucks, fire engines, people yelling, honking, etc.

We tune the radio in her room to static. Vaccuums, ceiling fans running water also create white noise. Our doctor said that the white noise is soothing since it's similar to what they hear when they are inside us.

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They say CIO doesn't really work until 5 months and standing there might make it worse because you're standing there and not holding her.. just what I think though... I know it's hard, Mallory would never let me put her down to sleep in the beginning.

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Posted by JennChris

They say CIO doesn't really work until 5 months and standing there might make it worse because you're standing there and not holding her.. just what I think though... I know it's hard, Mallory would never let me put her down to sleep in the beginning.

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I found with Alex that if we go to her while she's crying and try to pat her back or soothe her, she goes from level 1 crying to level 3 crying instantly. We have to just leave the room... if you do end up holding her after she crys for a period of time, yes it does nullify everything because you're showing her that if she cries long enough she'll get a hug or a cuddle.

Have you tried putting her in the swing? That's the only thing that worked for us. She would sleep a good 2-3 hours in the swing...

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I think if you stay next to her the whole time it will make it worse. I would let her cry for a few then go in and rub her belly, kiss her. I would onlypick her up as a last resort because then everything you went through was in vein.

My son is 14 weeks and I started CIO at 3 months. I always put him in awake at 8:30....Some nights when I put him in he goes right to sleep other nights he crys. He cries for no more than 30 minutes.. then he is sleeping for the night. During that 30 minutes he screams hard sometime but eventually he stops and now most nights he wines for a few minutes and then out like a light until 7 am.

Good Luck!!!

Re: CIO question

Posted by sunny

Posted by Bxgell2
Have you tried putting her in the swing? That's the only thing that worked for us. She would sleep a good 2-3 hours in the swing...

I can't get more than a half hour in the swing

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stephanie.. i was wondering the same things.. maybe you should bring her crib here to my house and we can put our babies to bed in the same room and then HOLD EACH OTHER while they scream!! I think its me who needs to be held at this point!!... Jeez...

Message edited 3/8/2006 1:34:25 PM.

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Posted by CheeChee

stephanie.. i was wondering the same things.. maybe you should bring her crib here to my house and we can put our babies to bed in the same room and then HOLD EACH OTHER while they scream!! I think its me who needs to be held at this point!!... Jeez...

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You will get mixed answers on this depending on who you ask. Hardcore non CIO people will say yes its the same while more laid back people will say as long as you are soothing her its not the same.
Really in the end you have to do what you are comfortable with. I tried this method with Miranda but I couldn't do it so in the end it didn't work for us

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I don't think it will help - it will make it worse. And yes, if you pick her up - it is all for not.

I started with Talia just before her 4 month mark - so maybe Katie is too young for CIO now - but in a few weeks it may be different.

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My ped said CIO can be done around the 5-6 month mark.

I'm not sure at what point Alyson started drifting to sleep on her own without being held....but I did notice that if I didn't put her down at precisely the right moment I saw she was drowsy.....she'd start freaking.

At 2 months, about an hr or hour and a half I see the bags under her eyes and she starts fading. I'll lay her down in our bed (at night while we watch tv).

I think that's my first tstep in getting her into her crib. Alot of it is reading their cues (body language).

Have you tried doing a schedule-writing down when she eats, when she plays, and what she does as she gets tired? (and for how long....it takes her to eat, how long she'll play, etc).