Did you really feel "ready"?

Hi everyone...

This is my first post on LIF. You ladies seem really nice and I'm hoping that I could get your thoughts on something.

My husband and I are thinking about starting to try to get pregnant next January- so about 6 months from now. We both really want to have a family and hope that we'll make great parents. I'm 28 and he's 30.

The thing is that as much as we both really want a family, to some extent it scares me to be pregnant! My mother-in-law once told me that you're never totally ready to get pregnant- no matter how much you try to prepare yourself (she was talking 1st child here). Is this true?

I mean, I totally get what an amazing thing having a child is and what a HUGE responsibility it is - am I freaking myself out too much?

I guess I should also add that I am an only child. I learned to be VERY independent early on, and am still quite self-sufficient. So the thought of having a baby that depends on me is a new concept to me... I don't think that that's an "I'm not ready" thought- that's just a thought that I need to deal with at some point.

Ok, I've rambled enough. I guess I'm interested in how you all felt with your first child. Were you ready? What were you thinking? If you were really independent before, how did you feel having a child? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

TIA ladies!

Re: Did you really feel "ready"?

I was 34 when I got pregnant with my first and we had a honeymoon baby. I felt very ready as did my DH. This time it was the same thing.

Re: Did you really feel "ready"?

We never felt 100% ready because we worried about all the what-ifs and money. If we waited til we were ready 100% we'd never have kids. We both knew we wanted them and the time was right - we had just gotten married. It took us a while to get PG so I'm glad we started when we did.

Re: Did you really feel "ready"?

DH and I have been married for a little over 2 years. We wanted to wait another 2 years before we had our first child. We still wanted to do some more things together before we added a child into the picture. But I guess some things don't always go according to plan since we are expecting our first in October.
To say we both felt unprepared and not ready is an understatement. But as the pregnancy progesses we get more and more ready in our minds and we are both very excited.
I guess I felt that we would never be truly "ready" anyway, even if we waited 2 more years.
Sometimes I think about our independence and how much we travel and how our life will change. but I like to think of this as our next chapter and a new adventure.

Re: Did you really feel "ready"?

I was 30 when I got pregnant, and will be 31 when the baby is born. I've known my DH since I'm 16, so I felt like what are we waiting for? We will be married 3 years when the baby is born. But, I was actually shocked when I got my BFP. It happened sooner than I thought it would, I was expecting it to take longer. I was very excited, but then the Oh wow, will we really be ready thoughts hit me. I think it's normal to feel that way. I am due in 6 weeks. Not sure if we are "ready" but this baby is coming either way and we are very excited! Good luck in whatever you choose.

Re: Did you really feel "ready"?

We felt very ready, but like your MIL said, not 100%. This is because we don't own a house or a car and we don't have thousands of dollars saved. But you know what? We may never have those things...so I would hate to put off starting my family until we had all that. We do make decent money and can provide a nice lifestyle for our child. That's all we need.

Re: Did you really feel "ready"?

I'm due in 6 weeks and I don't feel completely ready to have a baby. I don't think you can ever feel completely ready for becoming a parent. It's an incredibly awesome job but daunting just the same. I just know that regardless of all the reservations, I can't wait to meet this little person inside of me and be a mother.

Re: Did you really feel "ready"?

I think we always kind of felt ready to have kids - we've been talking about kids since we were dating and we want a big family so to us, that was what our future was. As far as "going out" - that wasn't important to us anymore so it wasn't like we were giving up some crazy extravagent lifestyle. And as far as picking up and going places, we plan to travel when we have kids so I don't feel like we'd be giving anything up there either.

The first time you feel your baby move inside you (and every time after) you will be overcome with joy and happiness like you've never felt before in your life and it makes all the fears and worries go away of having a child (at least it did for me). Take each step as it goes. I had no idea what to expect for pregnancy and so far so good. I have NO idea how to properly change a diaper - I'll figure it out. DH and I will figure it out together. We'll make it fun and make memories in the process. Was I truly ready to drive when I got my license? No. Was I ready to go away to college when I did? No. Was I ready to work a full-time job when I graduated? No. But once you take that step you can never imagine going back - you learn and you grow - and the fact that you can DH can do it together and with love is something truly special, IMO.

HTH - good luck whenever you decide to start a family!!

Re: Did you really feel "ready"?

I would say that I was more "ready" with my first than with this pregnancy! We were lucky to have no trouble getting pregnant both times and I remember being so excited with my BFP this first time and the second time my initial reaction was "holy c r a p...I'm gonna have two kids!" Jack, will have just turned two when the baby is born and I feel much more overwhelmed now than I did during my pregancy with Jack. I'll be out numbered during the day!

Re: Did you really feel "ready"?

defnitely wasn't ready when I saw the second line. but we had decided to go off BC and start within that next few months...so I knew I wanted children...and soon.
If we had waited until we were completely ready on all fronts...we'd still be waiting.

Re: Did you really feel "ready"?

What is ready? It's a personal choice but everyone has a different definition of what "ready" is. I think you just know.

Good Luck

Re: Did you really feel "ready"?

Thank you everyone! I REALLY appreciate all of your responses. Turns out a lot of people have felt what I do.

Thanks again- it really means a lot!

Re: Did you really feel "ready"?

I don't think anyone is really fully ready.

I have been around kids/babies for most of my life and as much as I am ready...I am also not ready. Every baby is different.

I don't think there is every a perfect time, age, or financial situation to make one ready.

Re: Did you really feel "ready"?

I freaked out, and still am a little freaked out, when I found out I was preggers - I love kids and always wanted thembut hardly felt ready (she is a surprise baby!!).....We still wonder how we will be.....its natural....

eta: I am 27 and dh is 32!