nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: On Parenting.
Religious Instruction:
Going to Church
If you’re planning on going to church, make sure to do it regularly in the summer.
With our summer schedules, our family missed several weeks of church. One Sunday, we got up extra earlier, dressed our Maddie (2 years old) & Joseph (4 year old) and headed to church. We took our seats in a crowded church. The priest went to the altar, the altar boys rang their bells. My 2 year old clapped her hands and yelled “Ice Cream Man!”
Taking down your Christmas tree.
This is extremely upsetting to kids that have just gotten a boatload of present from Santa Claus. We explain to our kids that if we don’t take the tree down then the Easter Bunny will get confused & not leave any Easter baskets because he’ll think it’s Christmas. If they bring up that maybe Santa Claus will get confused & bring more presents, explain that obviously Santa knows how to read and the Easter Bunny cannot.
Teaching your child how to behave:
Dining Out
Dinner at a restaurant is a very long time to expect a child to behave. We keep our kids in line by explaining to them beforehand that tonight we picked a restaurant with a Spanking Room. They are so fascinated with this room that they usually ask us where it is the minute we walk in. We pick any room out of view with a lot of traffic, so we can warn them to behave because…”Quick here comes the waiter with the key to the spanking room.” It’s better not to choose the kitchen. This past weekend we used the bar area as the “spanking room” – where luckily a mother exited with a screaming child. Both kids looked completely stunned and asked if they could go watch.
Parts of the Body
Fully explain sonogram pictures
When my sister was having her second child, she brought home the sonogram picture to show her 3 year old son. She said “Look, it’s a picture of your baby sister.” He looked confused. She explained “there is her feet, there is her arm, and her head….” Months later as they prepared for the baby, they moved a crib into his room. He threw a tantrum, screaming & crying that he didn’t want the baby in his room. When she was born, he held his father tightly as he was brought into to meet his baby sister. At first he wouldn’t look at her, then he peeked out of his father’s shoulders. Relieved, he cried “She has skin!”
Don’t discuss pregnancy in public
At eight months pregnant, I was waiting online in a store. My 18 month old pointed to my belly and said “Baby?”. I said “yes, that’s where the baby is.” He then pulled up my shirt, pointed to my belly button (which the pregnancy had turned to an outie) and said “Baby’s Nose?”
Boys versus Girls
When my daughter was born, my son was confused as to why she couldn't do the things he did - so we would say thing like "Madeline doesn't walk, but when she gets bigger she will" or "No Maddie doesn't talk, but when she gets bigger she will"
I was changing her & my son said "Maddie doesn't have a penis?" and I said "that's right she doesn't." He said "She has 2 heinies?" I tried not to laugh. Before I could answer him, he said to her "Don't worry, when you get bigger, you'll have a penis"
Illness & Injury
After having a new baby sister, my son would often try to fake injuries for attention. Since he learned all of his body parts, he would often pick parts of his body that would have unlikely injury or indicate he was not really sick. For example “My earlobe is hurting” “My eyelash is hurting.” This worked like a charm in identifying real illness or injury. We were in church & Joseph said “Mommy, we need to leave. I think I’m sick.” So I, ever diligent in identifying his fake injuries asked “Are you sure you’re really sick?” Exasperated, he yelled, “Yes, my nipples are killing me!”
On Christmas Eve, my son came running down the stairs in his socks and slid into the kitchen. His aunt said, "Joe, be careful. The floor is very slippery when you're just wearing your socks. You could fall down and hurt yourself." Then Joseph said "I could hit my head on the floor?" She replied "Yes." He asked, "And my brains could spill out all over the floor? Then I'd have to pick up my brains in my hands?" and I said "yep, I guess so." and he said, "Well then my hands will remember everything!"
My daughter was up vomiting all night. The next day I kept her & her older brother home. She played with her dolls and seemed fine. Suddenly she looked up & yelled, “My baby is going to throw up! Quick get her in the bathroom.” She grabbed her baby doll & went running to the bathroom. Her brother followed her screaming “Wait I’m a doctor!” He brought the doll back to the couch & “examined her” by putting a fake screwdriver in her mouth & saying “Say Ah!” Madeline looked concerned and asked the doctor, “Will she be ok?” Joseph replied “I’m going to give her a shot to make her stop throwing up” and jabbed the baby several times with the toy screwdriver. Madeline comforted the baby & said “Now she’s ok?” Joseph looked compassionately at her and stated, “No, she’s going to die – and she’s going to have to stay home from school for at least 45 days.”
Learning New Words
Grammar
On a scorching hot summer day, my 3 year old son asked me “What is air?” I explained that air is what we breathe in, it’s made up of oxygen, etc. Then he asked “what is wind?” I said “If there is a lot of air, it blows the trees and that is wind or a windy day.” Then he said “so a foggy day means there is a lot of fog?” I said “Exactly!”
Later on my husband was mowing the lawn. He took his shirt off. My son looked at his dad, turned to me and said “Daddy is very skinny.” Surprised, because he’s far from skinny, I said “Why would you say that?” He looked at his dad’s big belly & replied “He has a lot of skin!”
Identifying Sources of Information
Listening to intonation
After a visit with our relatives one weekend, I received a phone call from my two year old son’s daycare to tell me that he told someone to “eat sh!t.” I know we needed to work on cursing in front of him, but that is NOT a phrase that’s ever come out of my or my husband’s mouth. I knew it had to be from one of his older cousins.
Over the next week I spoke to my sister-in-laws. I explained the situation and asked if they thought it was one of thier kids – and if so, to tell the boys to be careful what they say in front of him. Both sister-in-laws vehemently denied it was their children.
During Thanksgiving dinner, I told Joseph he had to eat more vegetables. He glared at me, jabbed his finger in the air and yelled “F*ck! F*ck! F*ck!”. Thinking I was finally going to nail the nephew that had previously cursed, I asked “Joseph, who says that? Where did you hear it?” He said “Daddy! Daddy says ‘F*ck! F*ck! F*ck!’”
How the media plays a role
Shortly after Thanksgiving, I received another call from daycare telling me that my son had just called his playmate a “B!tch” for taking a toy. I called my husband & angrily explained that our son called his playmate a “b!tch” and accused him of calling me one. He said “I’ve thought it a thousand times, but NEVER said that.” I didn’t believe him until the next morning while driving the kids to school. Just as one DJ call another DJ a b!tch, Joseph copied them by yelling “You b!tch”. After that we drove to school singing our own made-up songs.
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