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Did you have help your first few nights?

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Merf99
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

3380 total posts

Name:

Did you have help your first few nights?

DH and I were thinking when we bring the baby home, we will be okay by ourselves the first few nights. All of our relatives are telling us otherwise. They said we'll be too tired and will need the help.

Did you have help? Who was it? For how long? Did you regret not asking for help?

Thanks! Chat Icon

Posted 8/21/06 10:11 AM
 
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Samlove

Member since 5/05

4729 total posts

Name:
Shari

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

I had a baby nurse with my son. It was gret having someone help with him and teach me. WhenI had my daughter my mom stayed with me for 2 weeks . I know I needed the help with her too. So yes, if there is someone that you feel comfortable with take the help. I did but it is a personal decision.,

Posted 8/21/06 10:16 AM
 

apb17
My guys

Member since 5/06

2173 total posts

Name:
Alli

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

We didn't have anyone help us and we wanted ti that way. We felt like we needed to take care of our Chat Icon by ourselves and set up a routine by ourselves. I definitely don't regret that decision.
If you think you can handle it...go for it! I'm sure you'll do fine.

Posted 8/21/06 10:17 AM
 

BaroqueMama
Chase is one!

Member since 5/05

27530 total posts

Name:
me

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

We had help. My mom stayed with us just for a few nights, then she would come on the days JT was at work.
I would keep someone on hand even if it's just to make dinner, clean up, etc.
You really cannot predict what you will be feeling like. I had a c-section, so I really needed the help, but still, you never know. Maybe keep someone "on-call". But take the help in the beginning, please! You really do need to get rest and take care of yourself, too.

Posted 8/21/06 10:18 AM
 

LisaI
Momma's Little Beans

Member since 1/06

3923 total posts

Name:

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

Meredith, we didn't have anyone for the first week and a half and we chose it that way. Unfortunetly we made a lot of family members angry, but as much as we might of needed it, I am so glad we did it ourselves. It is such a trying time and a very exhausting time that we just felt we needed to bond with our daughter first and try to get into the groove of things first without any interuptions. KWIM

Posted 8/21/06 10:19 AM
 

CunningOne
***

Member since 5/05

26975 total posts

Name:

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

We didn't have anyone either, we just felt like we didn't need it, and that if someone else was at our house, it would be more work for us, KWIM. When #2 arrived, we didn't have help either, but everyone chipped in and visited us when we said it was ok, and that was nice.

Posted 8/21/06 10:21 AM
 

Melbernai
I am a lucky Momma!

Member since 7/05

15652 total posts

Name:
Melissa

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

We didn't have help -- and although it was tiring and exhausting, it is all part of the parenting experience IMO and I am so glad we did it. It was hard figuring out what she wanted those first few nights, but I am so glad it was me and DH figuring it all out, and not someone else.

Posted 8/21/06 10:22 AM
 

SoinLove
Making big changes

Member since 5/05

16541 total posts

Name:
Kristin

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

While people came and brought us dinners the first few nights, we never had any help for the entire night.

Posted 8/21/06 10:45 AM
 

Shelly
She's 7!!!

Member since 8/05

14624 total posts

Name:

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

I had a c-section, so I was in the hospital for the first 5 nights. After that, I stayed with my mom, so she helped me. But since I was BF and I was the only one who could feed her, I was still getting up all night.


My sister who had a standard birth had my mom stay with her for the first week. I think if you have a close family member who can stay wtih you, that should be fine.

Posted 8/21/06 10:56 AM
 

nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.

Member since 7/05

57538 total posts

Name:

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

We didn't have anyone at night.

Posted 8/21/06 11:00 AM
 

Faithx2
All good things in 2016!!

Member since 8/05

20181 total posts

Name:

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

Posted by apb17

We didn't have anyone help us and we wanted ti that way. We felt like we needed to take care of our Chat Icon by ourselves and set up a routine by ourselves. I definitely don't regret that decision.
If you think you can handle it...go for it! I'm sure you'll do fine.



Same here. I totally agree Chat Icon

Posted 8/21/06 11:01 AM
 

WhatNow
Say Cheese!

Member since 1/06

8033 total posts

Name:
A (formerly WhatNow?)

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

My mom was over for the first few days and she was invaluable. I highly recommend you have a capable female, mom or older sister who already has kids, stay with you guys for the first few days. Not so much to help take care of the new baby as much as to help you out with everyday things and help set up and runing so you can concentrate only on your new daughter!

Just wanted to add that even though mom slept over a few nights in the begining she was in a separate room and never got up to tend to the baby. It was definitiely our responsibility and we wouldn;t ahve it any other way!

Message edited 8/21/2006 12:23:35 PM.

Posted 8/21/06 11:03 AM
 

CathyB

Member since 5/05

19403 total posts

Name:

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

We didn't have anyone at night - we didn't want it. I wanted to get used to it right away since DH had very little time off. With Sarah my ILs came over during the day to help, but it ended up creating more work for me. With Andy my mom came over during the day and helped with housework, wihch was great, gave DH and I time to focus on getting Sarah used to him.

Posted 8/21/06 11:06 AM
 

Marcie
Complete Happiness :)

Member since 5/05

27789 total posts

Name:
LOVE being a Mommy!

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

Posted by Melbernai

We didn't have help -- and although it was tiring and exhausting, it is all part of the parenting experience IMO and I am so glad we did it. It was hard figuring out what she wanted those first few nights, but I am so glad it was me and DH figuring it all out, and not someone else.



It was exactly the same for us - and we wouldn't have changed a thing. Chat Icon

Posted 8/21/06 11:27 AM
 

anon
where's winter?

Member since 11/05

2209 total posts

Name:

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

Message edited 2/8/2007 2:56:58 PM.

Posted 8/21/06 11:31 AM
 

MrsR
My love.

Member since 5/05

6247 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

I had a baby nurse for two weeks - it was worth every penny!!!!!! It allowed me to get some sleep - learn how to care for a newborn and feel more confident.

Posted 8/21/06 11:31 AM
 

CaidensMommy
My 3 Miracles!

Member since 5/05

5777 total posts

Name:
Melissa

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

No... we didn't have anyone. My sister was there, but she didn't get up at night. She helped with the laundry and stuff during the day, but at night it was all mommy since I was EBF! It's hard but definitely doable! Chat Icon

Posted 8/21/06 11:44 AM
 

DaniRN
Lovemykids!

Member since 5/05

1889 total posts

Name:
Danielle

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

We had help only because I ended up back in the hospital when she was 3 days old due to an infection and had to stay there for almost a week and DH needed help from both moms.

Posted 8/21/06 11:47 AM
 

Elizabeth
Mom of Three

Member since 9/05

7900 total posts

Name:
"MOMMY!!!"

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

We didn't at night but my Mom has always been around to help during the day when each of them were newborns - and even after. Yes, you'll be tired just b/c of the radical change to your sleeping pattern but I think you will manage fine. If you can sleep when the baby sleeps during the day to offset it, that will help. It's great advice that I received and also pass along but I dont know many Moms who really do it. But if you can do it would be great.

Now, if you have someone volunteering to come do the nightly feeding/changings for you or hire someone for you, I say go for it.

How are you feeling BTW?

Posted 8/21/06 11:58 AM
 

betty
My boys

Member since 5/05

4380 total posts

Name:
Beth

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

No help, just visitors.

Posted 8/21/06 11:59 AM
 

Merf99
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

3380 total posts

Name:

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

Posted by Elizabeth

We didn't at night but my Mom has always been around to help during the day when each of them were newborns - and even after. Yes, you'll be tired just b/c of the radical change to your sleeping pattern but I think you will manage fine. If you can sleep when the baby sleeps during the day to offset it, that will help. It's great advice that I received and also pass along but I dont know many Moms who really do it. But if you can do it would be great.

Now, if you have someone volunteering to come do the nightly feeding/changings for you or hire someone for you, I say go for it.

How are you feeling BTW?



See, I would like for both moms to be around during the day. DH's mom is not a big problem but since my mom lives in LI and I'm in NJ it makes it more difficult for her to just pop over. My mom has volunteered to come over for the first few nights but DH really just wants our bonding time - I do too but am trying to be realistic that I might be so exhausted - but at the same time why should I psyche myself out that I can't do it?

Anyway, I'm feeling good- thanks for asking Liz! It's going SO quickly! I 'm 31 weeks already. How is your newest addition?

Posted 8/21/06 12:47 PM
 

Michelle1123
Baby #5 on the way!

Member since 9/05

7919 total posts

Name:

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

We didnt have help at night, but my mom and m-i-l were over the whole day for the first few days. But we didnt need help overnight. Genevieve slept 10 hours the first night! Chat Icon I remember waking up in the morning in terror thinking i slept thru her crying and I looked at her and she was sleeping so peacefully!

Posted 8/21/06 7:45 PM
 

LIMOMx2
...

Member since 5/05

24989 total posts

Name:

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

I only had help during the day and not even everyday and that is how I wanted it. DH went back to work right away and even though I had a c-section. I didn't need anyone's help nor did I want it. I was so excited to be with him all the time. I wouldn't take it back for the world.

Posted 8/21/06 7:49 PM
 

twobabies
Praying

Member since 7/05

9662 total posts

Name:
Mrs. Honeybee

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

i had my mil to help me the first week, boy was she a godsend!!! i definitly needed help,i had NO experience with a baby at all.i had never even held one.

Posted 8/21/06 7:58 PM
 

-Lisa-
---------------

Member since 5/05

6530 total posts

Name:
Lisa

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

Posted by chmlengr

We didn't have anyone either, we just felt like we didn't need it, and that if someone else was at our house, it would be more work for us, KWIM. When #2 arrived, we didn't have help either, but everyone chipped in and visited us when we said it was ok, and that was nice.



Posted by LisaI

Meredith, we didn't have anyone for the first week and a half and we chose it that way. Unfortunetly we made a lot of family members angry, but as much as we might of needed it, I am so glad we did it ourselves. It is such a trying time and a very exhausting time that we just felt we needed to bond with our daughter first and try to get into the groove of things first without any interuptions. KWIM



I totally agree with Trish and Lisa. I didn't have or need anyone at night. Even during the day, the visits were more social than helpful (my choice). She was sleeping a lot during the day, so I was able to get things done.

Posted 8/21/06 8:33 PM
 
 

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