My friend just said....(Vent, long sorry!)

I'm was just on the phone w/ a friend. She told me a bunch of our girlfriends went out last night, as well as a few other times this month. I asked why no one ever calls to invitie me out. She says well you're married, it was just the single girls, so we figured you were busy. I said well you could have at least tired me. Then she said just think of this as practice for when you guys start a family, you'll never get to come out!

She said she was just kidding around, & brushed it off. But for some reason it hurt my feelings. My group of freinds is mixed, some married, some with families, some single. In the past we have always hung out together, no matter the ratio of single to married in the group.

Do you think I should bring it up again, & tell exactly what's on my mind? Way to make me feel totally left out!

Can't wait for DH to come home from work & give me a hug, at least he still loves to hang with me.

Re: My friend just said....(Vent, long sorry!)

I think people feel like when you are married that you are always busy. I would tell your friend that you want to hang out and would like to be invited next time they all go out together. You may be married but you're not DEAD!

Re: My friend just said....(Vent, long sorry!)

That's really awful. Do you think they're jealous b/c you're married now? Maybe they're having a rough time seeing their friends get married while they are still single. Definitely let your friends know that just b/c you're married doesn't mean that you don't want to go out with the girls any more.

Re: My friend just said....(Vent, long sorry!)

Thanks ladies. I really don't know where this came from, since our group of friends is mixed with married and unmarried girls. It is possible that this particular girl is jealous. But still, there are somethings that I wish people wouldn't say. It's as if she only said it to get a rise out of me. There was no other good reason to say it. Thanks for listening, I appreicate it.

Re: My friend just said....(Vent, long sorry!)

I would plan my own girls night out.. and call her (jokingly) and say Well.. I wasnt gonna call you cause I am now an old married fart and not sure if you still wanted to be bothered with me.. lol.. and then invite her.. I did that after I got married.. and the friend apologized cause she caught my drift.. HTH

Re: My friend just said....(Vent, long sorry!)

I have a group of friends that did that to me. I was sooo hurt!! Even if I couldnt come it would have been nice for them to call. We discussed it and we are still friends but its not the same anymore.

Re: My friend just said....(Vent, long sorry!)

I went through that when I started dating DH. I told my friends that we weren't joined at the hip and I could go out without him. then when I moved into the city and DH and I moved in together, some friedns would do that because of the same thing.

The truth is that a lot of people DON'T want to go out with their single friends when they are married. Make it clear to your friends that you are not one of them and tell them to include you when they make plans. They should elt you decline rather than assume your busy.

I don't think they meant to hurt you- some people just don't know what to do when it comes to these kinds of things. They don't want to intrude on your marriage and they think inviting you out would do that. Its silly.

Message edited 11/16/2005 9:33:51 AM.

Re: My friend just said....(Vent, long sorry!)

I would call the other girls that went out too and tell them to try you next time they go out

Re: My friend just said....(Vent, long sorry!)

I understand what your feeling my friends are very mixed as well and we alltry to get together and this has happend a few times that they didn't include some of us and it hurt us so then we had our own little get together and when they found out they were hurt and wanted to know why they weren't invited so I said becuz we have been excluded for having kids so we all got together with kids and they were like well we would of loved to see allthe kiddies together but at least they knew how it felt

Re: My friend just said....(Vent, long sorry!)

Re: My friend just said....(Vent, long sorry!)

I would be hurt...
Things change when you get married but seeing friends shouldn't. It seems as if your friend thinks that once you're married, you can do anything fun again. I like that idea posted above...I think she'd get the hint then..

Re: My friend just said....(Vent, long sorry!)

I would be hurt. Our group is mixed as well..some married, my bro is engaged and we have single people. We include everyone, every weekend.
I do have a friend that said to me "Now that you are getting married, I will never see you again.."..WRONGGG...LOL
She's now married and we hardly see HER cuz she's so busy every weekend.
She's a member on here too...She knows I love her but its funny that she thought I'd be the one who was never around.
Def. give your friend a call and let her know how you feel.