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Diva
I am what I am
Member since 12/05 2825 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Hypothetical: Would you tell your child...
Would you tell your child if they were carried by a surrogate mother? If so, at what age?
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Posted 8/30/06 9:33 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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calendargrl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 1686 total posts
Name:
jan
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Re: Hypothetical: Would you tell your child...
yes, probably when they are old enough to understand.
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| Posted 8/30/06 9:35 AM |
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Summer05
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 2320 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hypothetical: Would you tell your child...
I think I would tell them when they were old enough to understand what a surrogate was and the reasons behind it.
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| Posted 8/30/06 9:35 AM |
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LisaW
Time for me to FLY!
Member since 5/05 13199 total posts
Name:
Did I ever tell you that I hate people?
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Re: Hypothetical: Would you tell your child...
Yes...and this is something I've thought a lot about.
When they were old enough to understand, I would explain it to them.
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| Posted 8/30/06 9:36 AM |
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IrishTracy
Believe!!
Member since 5/05 15167 total posts
Name:
Tracy
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Re: Hypothetical: Would you tell your child...
My friend has a child threw surrogate & the surrogate is her childs Godmother. There are a bunch of photos of the mom & the preggo surrogate. And delivery room pics. I think it will definately come up.
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| Posted 8/30/06 9:42 AM |
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My2Boys
Love.
Member since 10/05 4796 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hypothetical: Would you tell your child...
When they're old enough, absolutely.
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| Posted 8/30/06 9:44 AM |
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jennandrob
mom of two!
Member since 5/05 4368 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Hypothetical: Would you tell your child...
I would absolutely tell them when they were old enough to understand
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| Posted 8/30/06 9:57 AM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Hypothetical: Would you tell your child...
I would tell my child even when they were too young to understand. Otherwise there will never seem to be the right time and you don't wantthe child getting too old and then resenting you for keeping something so important from them. I'm adopted and I don't remember even not knowing. It's not like one day I was sat down and told, my parents always told me that I was special, and planned for, etc...
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| Posted 8/30/06 9:57 AM |
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SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Hypothetical: Would you tell your child...
Yes... but I don't know at what age... when would a child be able to understand what this means? 5? 10? What would you say? I am your mommy but so and so carried you in her belly?
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| Posted 8/30/06 9:58 AM |
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LisaW
Time for me to FLY!
Member since 5/05 13199 total posts
Name:
Did I ever tell you that I hate people?
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Re: Hypothetical: Would you tell your child...
Thre are actually childrens books on the subjects of surrogacy, donor egg, donor sperm, IVF, etc.
I had it bookmarked for years, but it doesn't seem to be working right now.
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| Posted 8/30/06 10:05 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hypothetical: Would you tell your child...
Posted by nferrandi
I would tell my child even when they were too young to understand. Otherwise there will never seem to be the right time and you don't wantthe child getting too old and then resenting you for keeping something so important from them. I'm adopted and I don't remember even not knowing. It's not like one day I was sat down and told, my parents always told me that I was special, and planned for, etc...
I would do the same. My friend's daughter has known since she could talk that her mom is her mom, but that she grew in someone else. As my friend put it "You grew in my heart, but in another woman's belly".
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| Posted 8/30/06 10:06 AM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hypothetical: Would you tell your child...
Posted by nferrandi
I would tell my child even when they were too young to understand. Otherwise there will never seem to be the right time and you don't wantthe child getting too old and then resenting you for keeping something so important from them. I'm adopted and I don't remember even not knowing. It's not like one day I was sat down and told, my parents always told me that I was special, and planned for, etc...
I agree. That way they always know it and grow up accepting it a lot easier. When does it become the "right time" to tell a child this.
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| Posted 8/30/06 10:42 AM |
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heidla
Me and the guys
Member since 5/05 4024 total posts
Name:
Heidi
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Re: Hypothetical: Would you tell your child...
Yes, I would. I would wait until I felt like they would comprehend the situation.
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| Posted 8/30/06 10:52 AM |
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Phyl
R.I.P. Sweet Mia ♥
Member since 5/06 28918 total posts
Name:
The Mystical Azzhorse! ™
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Re: Hypothetical: Would you tell your child...
My Best friend's hubby is sterile and they used a sperm donor and it is clear as day they want their son to never find out about it.I have mixed feelings but it's not my place anyway.
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| Posted 8/30/06 10:52 AM |
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heidla
Me and the guys
Member since 5/05 4024 total posts
Name:
Heidi
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Re: Hypothetical: Would you tell your child...
Posted by atracinact
My Best friend's hubby is sterile and they used a sperm donor and it is clear as day they want their son to never find out about it.I have mixed feelings but it's not my place anyway.
I know it is a personal decision, but I don't think it is fair to the child. My aunt is adopted and didn't know until she was diagnosed with breast cancer when she was 43. The truth about her adoption came out when her mother confessed thather medical history would do them no good. My aunt tracked down her biological mother and found out that one of her biological sisters also had survived breast cancer. Now her children have a more complete idea of their history.
I just think that keeping that secret could harm your child down the road.
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| Posted 8/30/06 11:28 AM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hypothetical: Would you tell your child...
Posted by heidla
I just think that keeping that secret could harm your child down the road.
not to mention screw them up. I know its not the same, but I had a friend who was engaged to a man who was adopted and didn't find out until later in life. He had a very hard time adjusting and had severe abandonment issues.
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| Posted 8/30/06 11:45 AM |
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Phyl
R.I.P. Sweet Mia ♥
Member since 5/06 28918 total posts
Name:
The Mystical Azzhorse! ™
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Re: Hypothetical: Would you tell your child...
Posted by Shellyesq
Posted by heidla
I just think that keeping that secret could harm your child down the road.
not to mention screw them up. I know its not the same, but I had a friend who was engaged to a man who was adopted and didn't find out until later in life. He had a very hard time adjusting and had severe abandonment issues.
I totally agree! I think someone down the line will slip up. She unfortunately passed away 2 years ago.
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| Posted 8/30/06 11:47 AM |
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Libragal07
Loving Summer.....
Member since 8/06 6636 total posts
Name:
Samantha aka Sammy Bones
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Re: Hypothetical: Would you tell your child...
I def would.. but like everyone else.. I would wait till they are old enough to understand
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| Posted 8/30/06 11:48 AM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hypothetical: Would you tell your child...
Yes I think I would once they were old enough to understand.
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| Posted 8/30/06 11:48 AM |
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