Moms of 2 or more- HELP

Hi, I am cosidering having a second cchild and i have a lot of questions. Maybe some of you can offer advice.

DD just turned 2 and is verrrrryy busy. I figured if I ttc in Oct, and am successful, this baby would be born next july, when dd turns 3. Any feedback on the age difference. Are most 3 year olds potty trained/ sleeping in a bed? Can a 3 year old understand the concept of a new baby?

More ??????'s- Weight gain during preg#2- the same as with baby #1? Did baby 1 and 2 weigh about the same? How about the preg itself- harder/easier?

How about weight loss after birth? harder/easier/the same? More and/or new strech marks?

After #2 arrived- was the adjustment from mothering one to 2 kids really hard?

I know this is really long...Sorry... I have been on the fence for a while about this. Up until recently, I swore I was only having one child. I am now leaning towards wanting a second. Not 100% sure- is that normal. Since I think I want #2 I figure I should go for it. I figure no one ever really regrets having a second child, but may really regret it if they don't have one..... so please, any advice is greatly appreciated .. thanks

Re: Moms of 2 or more- HELP

ok i am gonna answer honestly!
first of all i want you to know that despite anything i write from here on in i absolutely love having four kids and would love to have one more. (the fourth is a stepchild, 3 of my own)
ok:
my two oldest are 3 years and 3 months apart. IMO this is the best age difference. iwas able to get the first one potty trained right before the baby was born. he didn't have that much interest in the baby at first but let me tell you that now at 7 and 4 they are the BEST of friends! my son was already in a bed , had been for over a year at that time.
i actually gained less weight during my second and third pregnancies. i was busier and more active too. the weight came off really easy after the second but not THAt easy after the third but hey i'm gonna be 30 in three months what can i expect!
pregnancy is harder because you are always tired and have to run around after a toddler that in my case did not nap anymore.
STRETCH MARKS: omg worse and more. skin is looser and hangy and gross. (but i am def up for a tummy tuck so who cares)
the adjustment from one to two was really hard for me. i still felt like i had alot of freedom to go out wherever i wanted with only one kid in tow. with two it's hard to get out of the house! it does get easier though and going from 2 to 3 was very easy for me. sorry so long, hope this helps!

Re: Moms of 2 or more- HELP

My girls are two years and 11 days apart. For me, I thought 2 years apart was going to be great. Thankfully, so far, I was right. My oldest is very good with her sister. She acknowledges that she exists and isn't the least bit jealous of her. However ,when my husband holds Peyton, Delaney does get semi jealous and she just wants to sit with him too. She rarely does this with me.

I found going from 1 - 2 was a lot easier than I thought it was going to be. I tried very hard to get them on a schedule because I was going back to work after 6 weeks. Both of my girls go to bed at 7:30 and wake up at 6:00 a.m. (they have to be at day care at 6:30 / 6:45). Delaney is a big help in the morning, she brushes her teeth, knows that we can't mess around and is on the ball in the morning. (Thank God).

We moved Delaney from the crib to a twin bed about a month after Peyton was born and she never asked why she wasn't in her room anymore. We really focused on the "big girl" thing and it really worked. We included her in the pregnancy and told her how important she was going to be, etc.

Stretch marks are what they are, they are there and I just call them my "war wounds". I gained about the same with both kids and I've lost all the baby weight (Peyton's 6 months old now).

Whatever you decide will be fine. Lots of luck

Re: Moms of 2 or more- HELP

Most three year olds are in the process of being potty trained if they're the first child. I don't go for the theory when they're ready. All of our moms had us potty trained before 2, I saw no reason why it coudn't be done. Joseph was told when he was 3, no more pull-ups. Maddie was fully trained by 2.5 but she was going on the potty since 15 months (second kids usually potty train quicker).

They are definintely aware of the new baby.

I gained significantly less weight during my second pregnancy & wound up weighing less than when I got pregnant with my first. You show faster so it's harder to hide. I was more tired during that first trimester than before. Also the last trimester absolutely 5ucked. I only made it to 34 weeks for my first pregnancy so I couldn't compare them.

I lost even more weight afterwards since I was nursing. After I stopped nursing I ate the same way & packed weight on quickly. Combined with the fact that I'm really lazy & am older, I'm now at my heaviest.

Having a second child wasn't as hard as I thought. Mine are closer together so it's different (22 months apart) and I think a little easier. One thing it taught me is how easy getting out of the house can be with only one.

Re: Moms of 2 or more- HELP

Thanks for the advice. I appreciate your honesty. I saw that you are a nurse. Before dd was born, I was in pharma sales, and have a teaching degree. I found that I was more interested in the medical aspect of my job than the sales aspect. So- I am going to school at night in September to get a degree in Nursing. It will take 3 1/2 years. I am excited. I like that there are soo many different specialties and types of nuring jobs available. Any advice????

Re: Moms of 2 or more- HELP

the nursing field is WIDE open. there is so much to do with it... in my opinion, there are many different types of nurses, some like office work, legal work, floor nursing, er work, gory stuff, or stuff. my passion is intensive care. i love all the technical stuff like high tech machines like ventilators. I work in Stonybrook NICU and we take care of the sickest of babies, to babies with different anomolies, we go out on ambulance runs to other hospitals to pick up babies, and over to the delivery room for the deliveries to be the baby nurse. i love it! what interests you about nursing?

Re: Moms of 2 or more- HELP

I have always been interested in nursing. Back when I was in my first year of college (I'm 33 now), I tried to get in the nursing program, but was told I couldn't get in because I didn't take advanced enough math or science classes in high school. So I got a teaching degree. I taught in the city and hated it. THen I went into Pharma sales. Great job, good pay, free car,expense account, etc.... When I was in Pharma sales, I called on Gi's, Cardiologists,Derms, Plastic Surgeons and Pediatricians. I have observed colonoscopys,endoscopies, cardiac cath and a lot of other procedures. I loved it- not grossed out a bit. I don't know if I want to work in a hospital. I was thinking maybe I might like to be a school nurse ( don't know how often those jobs are available), or maybe in a cosmetic surgery center. I am really excited about starting school. For fall semester, I will take anatomy and phys 1. In spring, I will take 2. Next fall I will take microbiology. Then I will be taking strictly nusing classes. It will take 3 1/2 years all togther. I think I will do well. For my job, I have studied A&P as well as microbiology. Every drug company I have worked for has had extensive training programs. So i think I'll be ok.

I think I may want to work part time when I first graduate- can you do that in a hospital? Or do you have to work 3 12 hour shifts? I hear that's what alot of peple do..

Re: Moms of 2 or more- HELP

you can def work part time. hospitals are begging for nurses!!!

Re: Moms of 2 or more- HELP

I had my children exactly 2 years apart, almost to the day. It was exactly what I wanted to, but in the end, part of me sometimes wishes I waited until Andrew was a little older. I feel guilty he is only 2 and looking for my attention, and a lot of that is focused on the baby. However, I think that since the baby came along, he is doing great, and his bond with daddy also got better. I don;t think we are havng more children, but if we do, I think I want them 3 years apart.

At 2, Andrew is not potty trained, and I am so not sure if he will be by 3. I don't find it any harder to have to change 2 sets of diapers, it actually may be a little easier. We are working on Pottyt training Andrew, but he is just not ready.

I gained 35-40 lbs in m first pregnancy and only 22 lbs. in my second. My first baby wieghed 9 lbs. 7 oz and the second was 7 lbs 11 oz, so a good 2 lbs difference!! I honestly can say both pregnancies were the same, but it does get more tiring hte second time around having a toddler. I admit I did take a nap when he did each afternoon.

I lost the pregnancy weight very easily both times, but its the extra weight I already had that's a PITA to get rid of! I dit not get stretch marks either time.

I didn't find the adjustment from 1 to 2 kids hard. Everything just takes longer..... Andrew did really well, after about aweek of some tantrums.

Message edited 8/19/2006 9:00:25 AM.

Re: Moms of 2 or more- HELP

My oldest was 33 months when her sister was born and I think it was a fabulous age gap. She was in her own bed and just about potty trained. She (kinda) understood more when I had to feed/change the baby then a younger child would.

It is tiring during pregnancy dealing with a toddler. But you just learn to deal with it and try to take little cat naps (like during Blues Clues or something :) )

My middle child is 25 months older than my youngest and this is a rough age gap. She is not very understanding when it comes to the baby and makes life difficult some days with the "terrible two epidodes". She was still in a crib and was not potty trained until recently (2.5yrs)

I have to say that going from 1 to 2 was a breeze compared to going from 2 to 3. It was a rough couple of months in the beginning.

I did gain less weight the second and third time and bounced back quicker with each pregnancy.

Stretch marks were there from the 1st pregnancy and still haven't gone away.