Did you have help your first few nights?

DH and I were thinking when we bring the baby home, we will be okay by ourselves the first few nights. All of our relatives are telling us otherwise. They said we'll be too tired and will need the help.

Did you have help? Who was it? For how long? Did you regret not asking for help?

Thanks!

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

I had a baby nurse with my son. It was gret having someone help with him and teach me. WhenI had my daughter my mom stayed with me for 2 weeks . I know I needed the help with her too. So yes, if there is someone that you feel comfortable with take the help. I did but it is a personal decision.,

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

We didn't have anyone help us and we wanted ti that way. We felt like we needed to take care of our by ourselves and set up a routine by ourselves. I definitely don't regret that decision.
If you think you can handle it...go for it! I'm sure you'll do fine.

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

We had help. My mom stayed with us just for a few nights, then she would come on the days JT was at work.
I would keep someone on hand even if it's just to make dinner, clean up, etc.
You really cannot predict what you will be feeling like. I had a c-section, so I really needed the help, but still, you never know. Maybe keep someone "on-call". But take the help in the beginning, please! You really do need to get rest and take care of yourself, too.

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

Meredith, we didn't have anyone for the first week and a half and we chose it that way. Unfortunetly we made a lot of family members angry, but as much as we might of needed it, I am so glad we did it ourselves. It is such a trying time and a very exhausting time that we just felt we needed to bond with our daughter first and try to get into the groove of things first without any interuptions. KWIM

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

We didn't have anyone either, we just felt like we didn't need it, and that if someone else was at our house, it would be more work for us, KWIM. When #2 arrived, we didn't have help either, but everyone chipped in and visited us when we said it was ok, and that was nice.

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

We didn't have help -- and although it was tiring and exhausting, it is all part of the parenting experience IMO and I am so glad we did it. It was hard figuring out what she wanted those first few nights, but I am so glad it was me and DH figuring it all out, and not someone else.

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

While people came and brought us dinners the first few nights, we never had any help for the entire night.

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

I had a c-section, so I was in the hospital for the first 5 nights. After that, I stayed with my mom, so she helped me. But since I was BF and I was the only one who could feed her, I was still getting up all night.


My sister who had a standard birth had my mom stay with her for the first week. I think if you have a close family member who can stay wtih you, that should be fine.

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

We didn't have anyone at night.

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

Posted by apb17

We didn't have anyone help us and we wanted ti that way. We felt like we needed to take care of our by ourselves and set up a routine by ourselves. I definitely don't regret that decision.
If you think you can handle it...go for it! I'm sure you'll do fine.

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

My mom was over for the first few days and she was invaluable. I highly recommend you have a capable female, mom or older sister who already has kids, stay with you guys for the first few days. Not so much to help take care of the new baby as much as to help you out with everyday things and help set up and runing so you can concentrate only on your new daughter!

Just wanted to add that even though mom slept over a few nights in the begining she was in a separate room and never got up to tend to the baby. It was definitiely our responsibility and we wouldn;t ahve it any other way!

Message edited 8/21/2006 12:23:35 PM.

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

We didn't have anyone at night - we didn't want it. I wanted to get used to it right away since DH had very little time off. With Sarah my ILs came over during the day to help, but it ended up creating more work for me. With Andy my mom came over during the day and helped with housework, wihch was great, gave DH and I time to focus on getting Sarah used to him.

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

Message edited 2/8/2007 2:56:58 PM.

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

I had a baby nurse for two weeks - it was worth every penny!!!!!! It allowed me to get some sleep - learn how to care for a newborn and feel more confident.

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

No... we didn't have anyone. My sister was there, but she didn't get up at night. She helped with the laundry and stuff during the day, but at night it was all mommy since I was EBF! It's hard but definitely doable!

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

We had help only because I ended up back in the hospital when she was 3 days old due to an infection and had to stay there for almost a week and DH needed help from both moms.

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

We didn't at night but my Mom has always been around to help during the day when each of them were newborns - and even after. Yes, you'll be tired just b/c of the radical change to your sleeping pattern but I think you will manage fine. If you can sleep when the baby sleeps during the day to offset it, that will help. It's great advice that I received and also pass along but I dont know many Moms who really do it. But if you can do it would be great.

Now, if you have someone volunteering to come do the nightly feeding/changings for you or hire someone for you, I say go for it.

How are you feeling BTW?

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

No help, just visitors.

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

We didnt have help at night, but my mom and m-i-l were over the whole day for the first few days. But we didnt need help overnight. Genevieve slept 10 hours the first night! I remember waking up in the morning in terror thinking i slept thru her crying and I looked at her and she was sleeping so peacefully!

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

I only had help during the day and not even everyday and that is how I wanted it. DH went back to work right away and even though I had a c-section. I didn't need anyone's help nor did I want it. I was so excited to be with him all the time. I wouldn't take it back for the world.

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?

i had my mil to help me the first week, boy was she a godsend!!! i definitly needed help,i had NO experience with a baby at all.i had never even held one.

Re: Did you have help your first few nights?