Relating to friends...

So I know most of us have felt that many of our single/non-parent friends drift off when we had babies, but what about the opposite? How has having a baby impacted how YOU relate to your non-parental friends? I was thinking about it today because I've noticed that I've drifted from some friends, and when I really thought about it I realized I can't really blame them because now, when they email or call and we talk, I feel like I'm on such a different level than they are... I feel like I've matured 10-fold in the last year and I can't really relate to their problems, and as horrible as it sounds, I find many of their issues just lame or petty at this point... so I don't even feel like dealing... (Susan, if you're reading this, I DO NOT mean YOU!)

Anyone else?

Message edited 8/23/2006 9:12:53 AM.

Re: Relating to friends...

OMG yes! I still talk to my non-parent/married friends every now and then but unfortunately having a child takes up basically all your free time. You are correct in saying that after having a child you do mature 10-fold as not only are you responsible for yourself, there is this little person who will rely on you for the next somewhat years.

Re: Relating to friends...

Well, about 99% of my friends are mommy's so we can all relate and it's wonderful. The only who is not is my best friend who is choosing not to ever have children so sometimes I feel like we are on a different path. I mean, she loves Jenna to pieces and will do anything for me or her (and she is her Godmother) but someimes she doesn't understand why I can't drop 50 bucks on a pedicure at the drop of a hat or go to Aruba for a week with her with 2 weeks notice!

Re: Relating to friends...

YES... for example, I have a friend who drifted off for a long time. I kept emailing but she was just so caught up in things that she didn't really have time. So I confronted her on it yesterday, and she wrote a novel to me about why she's so caught up and doesn't have time... i.e. having a new dog to take care of, her husband isn't around as much because school started up again, etc. Or, my other friend who is absolutely OBSESSED with getting engaged, so much so that she gave her boyfriend an ultimatum after only dating for 11 months and when he told her right now isn't the right time, the world STOPPED.

And I'm thinking, WHAT? Try dealing with Coxsackie, or a crying teething baby, or functioning on 4 hours of sleep for 2 weeks in a row, plus working full-time as an attorney and dealing with a father whose health is getting worse and worse everyday, and then come back to me and give me a GOOD reason why you're so consumed with yourself... Now, I look back and remember the time when I was also consumed with problems that weren't so big in the grand scheme of life, but I feel like that was EONS ago... I guess I really am starting to become an old fart

Ok, vent over

Re: Relating to friends...

I lost all but one friend when I got married since I was the first and to tell you the truth I don't really miss them. I do wonder sometimes because one happens to live 3 blocks from me and I always pass her house but I see it is if they were true friends we would still be together. My one friend that did stick was on the same page as me. She was enganged at my wedding and just got married this past June. We don't talk everyday but we always pick up were we left off. I am not making friends that are on the same page as me.
I think it is kinda sad that this happens. It is happening to my SIL and it bothers me to no end. She is married for a year and half and her and my BIL are thinking of TTCing. They did try 2 time but she is in a wedding next August and the Bride to be was not so happy about that idea and now my SIL is thinking of waiting until their wedding. I can't see doing this but it isn't my choice.

Re: Relating to friends...

im the opposite, NONE of my friends have babies yet, so i enjoy talking to them so much, they keep me sane, lol. i get to focus on issues other then diapers and what formula do you use . i find it a great balance. then i can come on this site and get all my parenting advice.

Re: Relating to friends...

I definitely see that. Between a lot of friends moving away, and being a mom, I have definitely drifted with some friends. My best friend (married, but no kids) I still see, but we talk less frequently and never go out as couples anymore. On the other hand, I have gotten closer to my friends who are moms and especially closer with my sister who has a 14 month old.

Re: Relating to friends...

Posted by twobabies

im the opposite, NONE of my friends have babies yet, so i enjoy talking to them so much, they keep me sane, lol. i get to focus on issues other then diapers and what formula do you use . i find it a great balance. then i can come on this site and get all my parenting advice.

Re: Relating to friends...

There is only 1 friend that I can honestly say I don't speak to much anymore. My other friends - I speak to all of them at least once a day by email or text. Of all of us only 2 of us have babies.
They make an effort to see me, and I make an effort to see them - and keep up with the goings on in their lives.
It's not always easy to see each other because we all work, and have things going on, but at least once a month we all get together for a girls night. We also get together for everyones b-day - I don't know.... They are all so important to me, so I make just as big an effort on those relationships as I do my family.