feeling depressed and blue

Hi - Im a frequent poster to LIW and now LIF - and married last year. Sorry is this long. I choice to remain anonymous and hope that someone will be able to give me some advice or insight to what im going through. I'm realizing now that I have always had periods of depression in my life thats lasted several days to a week and then disappeared for anywhere from 3 weeks to 2 months. My depression varies and its completely frustrating because i will feel fine for a month or more and then something will come over me and i feel blue for days. When im depressed im completely insecure with myself, things i do or say and overanalyse everything around me - often not paying attention to the things that matter most. My DH realizes im beginning to feel this way because i start to lose eye contact when i talk to him or others. Its really sad and the past few days ive cried Then a week later, ill be fine - insecurity completely gone and feeling like my old self-hoping my depression won't return.
I havent had any tramatic event happen in my life, I have a wonderful DH and ive had a wonderful life with no history (to my knowledge) of depression in my immediate family - so im lost and can't figure out why im like this. Ive been to a phystrist and was on Zoloft 25 mg and 50 mg for less than a year - i felt okay for the most part but the depression always returned but sometimes in longer intervals of feeling better.
NOW me and DH are trying to conceive and ive decided to not take any prescription medication so im currently not taking any medication but hope to soon make an appointment with an phychologist. I just don't know what to expect with a phychologist - being that I don't have any tramatized event that has happened to me.
I guess what im asking is - Has anyone ever been depressed for a week and then feel better for a month or more and feel depressed again? What is/was your depression like?
How can I cope? This is really tearing me up and making me feel hopeless at a time where I should be strong for DH and me. A few times ive been approached my family members asking me if im okay - it just kills me because I have everything going for me and shouldnt be feeling like this. What can i do?

Message edited 5/24/2005 7:25:11 PM.

Re: feeling depressed and blue

i cannot imagine what you may be feeling, b/c i've never been there. I just want to offer you some support and tell you that I think you are brave just for trying to seek help!! often times people just keep it bottled up inside, which i can only assume makes things worse. please know we are here for you - as long as you keep "talking"- we'll keep listening!!

eta: making an appt with a pyshciatrist (sp?) is a step in the right direction!!

Message edited 5/24/2005 7:38:50 PM.

Re: feeling depressed and blue

First off, 's.

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. There seems to be alot of outside pressures today that will affect how you perceive yourself and the world around you. There doesn't necessarily have to be something "wrong" to make you feel down. It could be stresses at home, work, financial, you name it. Even TTC'ing can impact you because you're focusing on eating right, taking care of yourself, etc.

I go through endless bouts of depression. I feel like I can never expess myself and try to work things out on my own. That can often be a heavy burden to bear and it's not always the healthy way to manage your emotions.

Don't ever feel that you are alone, because you're not. Even the help of a therapist may help because they can look at your life objectively and maybe point out areas that are impacting you that you yourself can't probably see.

Please take care of yourself!!

Re: feeling depressed and blue

I don't know what it is like to be depressed (more than the norm) but i think that it is a good idea that you do see a psychologist...
I think that it could be VERY helpful...AND i am actually surprised you never have gone...That a physician or psychiatrist actually kept prescribing you zoloft without any therapy....

Anyway...YES go to talk to someone!

Re: feeling depressed and blue

Thanks so much for your support and hugs ladies. I always knew i had bouts of depression - but i also always had friends, boyfriends, good grades, family etc.... just inside i would always fight this feeling of insecurity at moments in my life.
I started seeing a phystrist after getting married, it hurt me so much to not only feel this way but to have another person in my life whom i loved going through the motions with me and i soon realized it wasn't something i could deal with on my own. My Dh actually supported me and helped me take the extra step to getting help and im so grateful for that. But i guess i sometimes feel so alone as if im the only one.
After a few appts with my doctor and listening to what i was going through - he subscribed me zoloft - he gave me minimal theraphy - so im hoping a psychologist might give me some more insight.
I guess right now, i can't come to understand wwhy i feel good for months and then crash for a week. Its just so frustrating and i just need some hope and a cure! If i had to live this life over, i wouldn't want to ever live feeling this way - its just an undescribable feeling.

Re: feeling depressed and blue

YES i psychologist will be a step in the right direction...

since you are a regular poster...lean on your friends here! There are a bunch of wonderful supportive people willing to listen!

Re: feeling depressed and blue

Seeing someone will HELP. I have anxiety issues that sometimes bring on depression, though not to a bad extent. I am able to understand it now and work through it. I think in your situation you have TRIED and its not working, so seeing someone professionally is your next best bet. There are other medications out there too that can help. It doesnt have to be because of a tramatic event, it could be chemical and nothing you have control over. You just need some help reacting and dealing with it.

You sound strong! GOOD LUCK and keep your head up. I think brighter days are ahead for you.

Re: feeling depressed and blue

I really have never been in your shoes.
Red said it best. Go talk to someone and we are here for you!

Re: feeling depressed and blue

i know how it is to feel this way! it's been like that seice i was 16! i am here to talk if you need to just fm me! i did send you one with more about it. seeing a dr is the right thing! please know we are here for you!

Re: feeling depressed and blue

Re: feeling depressed and blue

Unfortunately, I can't really help much. But if you'd allow me to make a suggestion... I was thinking that perhaps you could try hypnotherapy. I've heard of people who don't know of anything traumatic happening to them in their pasts but while hypnotized will remember something that may be to blame for them feeling the way the feel.
Hope you feel better soon.

Re: feeling depressed and blue

You don't need a reason to feel the way you feel. The majority of people who are depressed have not had anything traumatic happen to them. Sometimes it's a chemical imbalance, sometimes it's hormonal, and sometimes it's mental, but regardless of the 'reason' even if there is none, there is help, and you are seeking it out, which is a step in the right direction.

The guilt you are feeling about being depressed is not helping your depression. You should not have any feelings of guilt about feeling sad & helpless, although I know my DH & I both feel this way, as well. We both suffer from depression and get angry with ourselves for feelnig this way because we have "no reason" to feel sad given all of the blessings we've had and continue to have throughout our lives. Knowing that this guilt feeling is natural is therapeutic in and of itself, and seeing a psychologist should help you rid yourself of that unnecessary guilt, as well as it should instill some wonderful techniques to overcome your feelings of hopelessness and depression.

I am a strong proponent of talk therapy over drug therapy, or a mixture of the two. It seems as though your psychiatrist had you rely more on the drugs than sessions, which is not the best for your situation. I think it is important that you seek help now, while you are TTC, because there are a lot of ups and downs that you will have to go through while TTC, and when you get pregnant and have a child, you will have to deal with the added hormones in your body, which can be a nightmare for people who are susceptible to depression.

Please know that you are not alone, and congratulations for taking the first step in the right direction. Please keep us in the loop and let us know how your therapy is progressing. Do not think that the psychologist is going to try to find some dark, hidden secret about your past to get to the root of your problem. Most psychologists will provide you with techniques on how to deal with today & tomorrow. Best of luck to you!

Re: feeling depressed and blue

I just wanted to offer my support, I have a little experience w/depression. I also wanted to say that I think you are doing the right thing with talking to a professional. Which I agree with Redhead I don't understand how they can prescribe you with anything without you actually talking to a psychologist.
We are all here for you to lean on.

Re: feeling depressed and blue

You don't have to have gone through a trauma to experience depression. I would definitely seek counseling as it sounds like what you're dealing with may be dysthymia, which is a form of depression.



FM if you need to talk or anything!

Re: feeling depressed and blue

first of all - lots of hugs for you!!!

I posted the exact same thing a few months back, and I know exactly what you are going through! You almost feel guilty for feeling th eway you do, when you think of all the good things you have, that it's almost wrong to feel anything but happy, and that can be very hard on your own mental well being. I have to say, based on the loving support I've received from numerous people here on LIW and now LIF, I've taken step to get to the root of my own bouts of depression, and I'm now seeing a thereapist to help me through this. All I can do ios offer you my support, as someone who knows exactly what you are going through right now - and also suggest that you try to talk to someone about your feelings - thereapis, psychologist, etc. It will really help you to come to terms with the way you feel, and can help you to work out a way to overcome your deperssion. Please FM me anytime if you ever want to talk, it's important to know that you are NOT alone in your feelings! Stay strong! You have an amazing support system right here with you no matter what happens!!! !

Message edited 5/25/2005 1:19:23 PM.

Re: feeling depressed and blue

First of all, I want to give you a bunch of hugs.

I also want tell you that it's okay to feel depressed without any specific or direct reason or cause. It is much more common than you may think, and there is no shame in it.

Talking to a psychologist is an excellent idea. I strongly support talk therapy in lieu of or in conjunction with drug therapy. You certainly don't have to have had a traumatic event in your life to talk to a psychologist. Much of what goes on in therapy involves talking about your family and your past in order to develop a better undertstanding of yourself, your relationships, and your feelings. I have been in therapy for the last three years, and I have to say that it is one of the best things I could have done for myself, in terms of becoming more comfortable with who I am, and understanding myself better.

I wish you the best of luck. You have a wonderful support system here.

Re: feeling depressed and blue

I don't know what its like to feel the way you do but my cousin is always feels depressed for no reason and she had started to see a dr. and it has helped her alot she doesn't take any perscriptions but the docotr told her to eat alot of comfort foods and gave her a list of them and that helps her when she is getting really down on herself. If you like I can try and get the list from her maybe that will help some

Re: feeling depressed and blue

Ladies, thank you so much for your responses, support and FMs, im so grateful and hopeful that I will get better.
The last few days ive been feeling better and at this point im waiting to hear back from a physchologist to schedule an appointment soon. I want to stay off of the medication as much as I can and want to go the therapy route -
I will do my best to keep everyone posted and know that this is a common issue that too many of us are going through or have gone through at some point in our lives.

Thanks again to all of you and many hugs

Re: feeling depressed and blue

Well just wanted to give you some

Re: feeling depressed and blue

First off, I'm so sorry you are going through this. You just know that you don't have to go through it alone. Don't be silent about how you feel. Tell someone and seeing someone is the best thing you can do. I sometimes get that way. Feeling blue and not really knowing why feel the way I feel. It is frustrating because I just can't explain what the problem is. But it passes and I move on.

Listen honey, we will always be here to listen!

Re: feeling depressed and blue

everyone has already offered wonderful advice - you have nothing to be ashamed of, or to feel bad about - it is important that you have recognized this and hopefully the psychologist can help. In the meantime, we are always here for you!

Re: feeling depressed and blue

Hi,
I felt like that was me writing that! I feel that way now, and have on and off my entire life. My cousins, Mother and her 2 daughters, have all been diagnosed being a manic depressive. I'm beginning to think that's me too. Although you said you had no family patterns, so, maybe that has nothing to do with it.

I just wanted to give you a big and let you know that no matter what, it'll get better. Whether it's simply waiting for this "episode" (as I refer to the bouts) to pass, there are better days ahead.

I've been in a funk for the past 2, pushing 3 weeks, and I'm also considering therapy. Some people who I thought were my friends, I've discovered just aren't. Where are they in my time of need? So, it's been making me feel worse. For what it's worth, I'm very grateful you had the courage to post this. Congratulations in taking the first steps to feeling better! Everyone on here has always been such a great group of people, you got some really nice responses!!! If you ever need to talk,I'm an FM away..

Let us know how you're doing, I'll be thinking of you.