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Shower Question...

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KittyCat
Happy Summer !

Member since 5/05

2241 total posts

Name:
Kathleen

Shower Question...

My Grandmother threw my Bridal Shower b/c my mom lives in FL and she doesn't have a dime to her name. My grandma is on a fixed income and doesn't have much. My bridal shower was at a country club, very elegant and I know it coust BIG BIG BUCKS and I know my mom probably didn't give a dollar to it, because she couldn't.

So as soon as I got pregnant, I though, oh boy - Grandma is going to plan the shower the days she finds out I am pregnant, so my brother told me that she is starting some things. How do I approach her without sounding like I expect her to be the one to throw the shower? I just want it in the backyard of my house, nothing fancy, I do not need a ritz carlton shower. I think decorations and some catered food would be good, BUT it will be hot in summer July, we do not have A/C and the guest list (can't eliminate 1 person) is over 60, isn't that too much for a house party? I am torn on this, I do not want it to be a burden on anyone. But I am afraid to say anything b/c then it sounds like I am a greedy BIT**. any advice ??

P.S. M-I-L would NEVER ask if she could help in any way - she is just happy giving her part of the guest list - been through this before with her...so rude.

Posted 3/6/06 3:44 PM
 
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!

Member since 5/05

14021 total posts

Name:

Re: Shower Question...

Why not have your DH approach your grandma and say, " I know you planned DW's bridal shower and I wanted your imput in helping me plan my wife's." That way, she won't feel like she is left out and your DH can help financially while she does as much or as little as she wants.

Posted 3/6/06 3:50 PM
 

dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!

Member since 10/05

11561 total posts

Name:
Dina

Re: Shower Question...

Posted by shamrock12472

Why not have your DH approach your grandma and say, " I know you planned DW's bridal shower and I wanted your imput in helping me plan my wife's." That way, she won't feel like she is left out and your DH can help financially while she does as much or as little as she wants.



This is a wonderful idea! Dh can tell your grandma that you mentioned you really want it in the backyard of your house.

Posted 3/6/06 3:53 PM
 

MrsJ
I love my Katie Bug

Member since 5/05

11357 total posts

Name:
Kathy

Re: Shower Question...

Posted by shamrock12472

Why not have your DH approach your grandma and say, " I know you planned DW's bridal shower and I wanted your imput in helping me plan my wife's." That way, she won't feel like she is left out and your DH can help financially while she does as much or as little as she wants.



This is a good idea.
Just my opinion, but I dont think its right to expect Grandma to pay for the shower - even if its at a house and not a hall - for 60 people...on a fixed income.

I think you and DH should plan it and ask if she would like to help. You and DH can contribute to it too ( we are - becasue I dont want to put the financial burdon on anyone).
You could also have people cook for the shower, catering is expensive. It's going to be a big expense any way you look at it with 60 people invited...do you have friends or other family who would throw it for you?

Message edited 3/6/2006 3:56:32 PM.

Posted 3/6/06 3:55 PM
 

KittyCat
Happy Summer !

Member since 5/05

2241 total posts

Name:
Kathleen

Re: Shower Question...

thanks all, I will have DH speak to her, although it will be hard - he is very quiet when it comes to that stuff. My Grandma is old fashioned, she wouldn't take a penny from me, I was also thinking maybe I could give $$ to my dad and he can give it to her. This should be a fun event and it is making me stressed out and In-laws should step in too!

I have lots of family, but no one would step up to throw the party , I know that for sure.

Posted 3/6/06 4:06 PM
 

wowcoulditbe
wow, pic is already 1 yr old!!

Member since 1/06

6689 total posts

Name:
D

Re: Shower Question...

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Can your dh maybe write her a card or ltr if he is not good with words?(of course you candictate it!) saying what he knows your wishes are, how grateful you both (or the three of you now!) are for her help but how you want to help out??

its very nice of you to realize the burden and want to help - unfortunatley lots of people wouldn't think of it!!!!

Posted 3/6/06 6:54 PM
 

dawnygirl25
Growing up soo fast..

Member since 1/06

14917 total posts

Name:
Dawn

Re: Shower Question...

I agree with a previous post that suggested having you and DH pitch in for the shower because afterall, grandma is on a fixed income - and thats a huge guest list for her to cover.

Posted 3/6/06 8:21 PM
 

BaroqueMama
Chase is one!

Member since 5/05

27530 total posts

Name:
me

Re: Shower Question...

I think that if you knwo your grandmother would not take money from you, you should give the money to your dad to give to your grandma. This way she doesn't know it's you contributing.

Posted 3/6/06 8:34 PM
 
 

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