Any ladies who have had to return to the TTC board come on in (others welcome too)

I thought that we might benefit from a thread of our own. We can share our feelings and concerns knowing that the others have experienced what we have.

I just had a D&C on Friday. Physically I feel fine, but I am struggling a bit mentally. My doctor told me that I could have done nothing to change what happened I still feel like I did something wrong. I want to start TTC asap, but instead of looking forward to another pregnancy I am worried that I am just going to be paranoid every step of the way. Or worse that we won't be able to concieve again.

I just thought that I would share my feelings. If anyone else wants to share their's please do.

Re: Any ladies who have had to return to the TTC board come on in (others welcome too)

I am so sorry. Sending you lots of hugs and kisses.



Also check your fm!!

Message edited 7/2/2006 10:28:32 PM.

Re: Any ladies who have had to return to the TTC board come on in (others welcome too)

so sorry you feel this way.

As someone with two losses, a stillborn and a M/C I can say that your nest PG will honestly be different. And its best to know ahead of time so you can prepare to think positively as possible.

I got PG again 3 and a half years after my daughter was stillborn and yet the first few weeks were ROUGH. I was worrying a LOT, so I convinced myself worrying was bad and I only had power of my thinking and all I did was think of good things. Even then I lost that baby at 9 weeks , yet to be 100% honest it wasnt as hard as I had expected because even though I was unprepared for it, I wanst worrying 100% of the time and so I had some great moments in that GP and allowed myself to.

you have to allow yourself to grieve and then when PG again to accept whatever happens, this is a NEW pregnancy and nothing I do will affect it .

Its hard of course. I dont think I can ever fully relax when I do get PG till I have my baby in my arms but the best thing to do is just what you are doing..TALK ABOUT IT!

After both my losses all I wanted to do was talk about it and I wish I had done it more often, it helps!

Good luck to you!

hope that made some sense, I know I was jumping all over the place!

Re: Any ladies who have had to return to the TTC board come on in (others welcome too)

I vented soooo much on this topic to all you girls, and can't thank you all enough... I think it's a great idea being that it does seem like so many have gone through it. I totaly understand how you feel, and I have the same worries and concerns too! I think we all do!! Now since I finnaly got a normal AF, and we can actually try again....now I'm petrified. Of course we want to... but then what? Do you spend 9 months in fear? Or does that get easier too? Once again more questions! Sorry.


To everyone!

Re: Any ladies who have had to return to the TTC board come on in (others welcome too)

Heidi- this is a great idea for us to express whats going on or goes on with this type of loss.
(I am so sorry that you are going through this as well)
I am sorry for anyone else that has had to deal with this and worse , this ttc/pregnancy process is as crazy as it amazing.

THis is still really new to me & I am probably going to have to return to this topic and post later -
I am STILL sorting allof this out, but, I feel I need to say some things.


1st- i need to thank everyone who is supporting us. I have been checking my post on the pg board and the support is amazing here- thanks


2nd- I want to thank those of you who are fm'ing and sharing your personal stories. I even reading them to DH who is impressed with the help this site is providing.

3rd- Heidi - I feel the same way about getting pregnant again, honestly, I am bit freaked out that I will freak myself out. Part of me wants to get back on the bike as soon as I am allowed to because this is something we want so bad.
Even though the chance of this situation repeating is low- I do feel the fear and hope that passes.

4th-I hope that those of you who are TTC/ pregnant/infertilty/ adoption can find strength through everyone one on these boards like I am now and we can keep sharing . It really helps-

I am sorry to go on and on- but again I am still sorting this all out.

THanks again everyone and good luck to all of you.

Re: Any ladies who have had to return to the TTC board come on in (others welcome too)

Great idea!!!! I had 2 m/c's and am having no luck getting PG since. I am seriously starting to think something is wrong with me.

to everyone else who has gone/is going through this!!!!! And of course lots of

Re: Any ladies who have had to return to the TTC board come on in (others welcome too)

I just went through this on weds. Thankfully I was only 5 weeks and didnt need a D&C. Heidi, I know we spoke before- again I am here to talk if you or any of the other Ladies would like.

I can't wait to begin trying again. It only took us 1 month to conceive yet on the other hand I know that I will constantly be Wiping and checking throughout my next pregnancy. No matter how much anyone says that It will not happen. ( sorry for the TMI ). I fear that I will be nervous constantly. I havent been able to sleep well since that night. DH tells me that Every night he just lays there watching me wondering whats going on and if im ok. He really is a great support.

Thanks for listening... Babydust to all!

Message edited 7/3/2006 3:27:18 PM.

Re: Any ladies who have had to return to the TTC board come on in (others welcome too)

As someone who is new to TTC, I thank you and appreciate how open you all have been in sharing some of the most difficult experiences in your lives with the rest of us. Your fears are genuine and justified. Some of the women here have either been through the same or similar experiences or know someone close to them who has. There are no words of comfort that you all havent heard before except that now, we are all here to support each other as we look to expand our families. May all of our stays here be short yet supportive. And to all!

Re: Any ladies who have had to return to the TTC board come on in (others welcome too)

I know how you feel. It's almost (and I shudder to even type this) but it's almost like I'm afraid to get pregnant.

I want it so bad, but the fear of having another miscarriage or something wrong with the baby can be paralyzing at times.

I think it's a matter of being mentally ready and having a support system in place for those times when you do feel scared.

And as skygirl said, there is a great support system here on these boards!!

Hang in there!

Re: Any ladies who have had to return to the TTC board come on in (others welcome too)

I just want to say thank you for this support....I am currently going through this and I needed to know that there are other people out there who have.

Re: Any ladies who have had to return to the TTC board come on in (others welcome too)

I have shared my story with some of the girls on the board, but I just want to add to it.

After I had my m/c I was not ready to try again for awhile. When I was finally ready I was able to get PG again rather quickly. I was lucky. When I found out I was PG with my daughter I wasn't elated like I was the first time. I didn't believe the test and must have taken about 10. Neither my husband or myself allowed ourselves to get too attached to this pregnancy. In the beginning I found myself constantly wiping and checking for blood it was insane. Every twinge sent me straight to the bathroom. Then I fell at 8 weeks. I fell pretty hard too. I went to the dr and saw the baby again and all was good. I spent the next 2 weeks incomplete fear that something would happen. I had a pretty easy first 2 trimesters. So I was even more nervous. I didn't have bad MS and my boobs only really hurt for a short while. As my belly grew I found some reassurance but still prayed, Please just let me get to the next visit and hear the heartbeat or see her. Please don't take this one too. This was a nightly, daily almost hourly prayer. I finally started to relax around 22 weeks when I could feel her kick. Unfortunately my daughter was in a very strange position and I would not get to feel the same kicks that other mommies did. So her kicks were infrequent. I was nervous again. I would ask for sonos almost every trip to the doctors just to check. It was only when she started pushing my pelvis out of alignment and I was in a lot of pain that I could 'relax' that she was ok. Because if she wasn't moving and growing I wouldn't be in this kind of pain.

Then she was born and all was fine. The one thing that was bad was that I wasn't able to relax and completely enjoy my pregnancy because I lived in What if mode. That stress caught up to me I think in the end after she was born. I had bad PPD because I didn't want my pregnancy to be over. I wasn't ready. I hadn't enjoyed it, though I loved being PG, if that makes any sense.

I know that when you guys become PG again and I know you will, try to learn from my errors and relax and enjoy every twinge and every sensation that you feel. It's only nine months and every moment is to be treasured!!!

Hugs and prayers to all and if anyone ever needs to talk feel free to FM me.

Re: Any ladies who have had to return to the TTC board come on in (others welcome too)

First I want to say I am sorry for all of your losses and i think this is a good idea.

Well here's my story. I found out I was PG on 9/11/05. I couldn't believe it. It was the 1st month we tried. We were both so excited and my best friend was PG too and due in April(I was due on May 21) I then started training for a new part time job. I had to go to the city for 2 days. Around 9/16 I started bleeding and called my Dr. at the time-Suffolk OBGYN-and he asked me where I was. I said working in the city and he said you should be home in bed(I have done much research and laying in bed will not stop a MC)

I switched Dr's and started going to Personal Women's care which is a small practice. They were much nicer to me and had me come in and test my HCG. My HCG was not going down and I got an US and there was nothing there so they thought I might have an ectopic PG. This was hard because I was bleeding and my levels were not going up nor were they going down. I still was acting like I was PG-no drinking, smoking, specific foods, etc. Finally they encouraged me to get the methotrexate shot-this is a chemotherapy drug that attacks abnormal cells in your body. I bled unil Oct.18th and then got AF 10/21. I have pretty much had normal cycles after that. No D&C.

We have been trying every month since November and no luck so far. In speaking with my Mom she said she was on progesterone with both of her pregnancies(she had one MC before me I am the oldest) I went and asked them to check my progesterone-it was 5 when it should be 10. I then had to force my Dr to put me on supplements-which he did. This was my 1st month on them but I just got AF



I am still hopeful as I did get PG once before-I am waiting for new insurance to kick in on July 17th and then I am going to a fertility specialist. I am 32 and plan on having more than one child. Thanks for letting me share my story.

Re: Any ladies who have had to return to the TTC board come on in (others welcome too)

Jaimie,
I just wanted to thank you publically for sharing your emotions and experience with us.
You have no idea how you are helping me personally with how my dh & I are feeling. I appreciate you sharing your journey with us so openly.

FOr all the ladies who fm'ed me or psted- thanks for giving us hope and courage.

Today I am feeling a lot better then I was the past 2 days and I just wanted to thank all of you- you are so appreciated


ETA- update- 7/6- from day to day i have been having ups and downs. I think I am fine trying to resume normal life activities but then I get kind of ( hate to say it) maybe a bit depressed. I have been talk ing to a few close friends who have been through this and they were the same way.
My #1 fear is IF I get pregnant again that I am going to spend the pregnancy in fear.

It's like one monute i snap out of it, the next second I am a wreck.

I hope this passes soon- I almost feel guilty feeling like this. Even though I have a lot of friends & family around I can sometimes feel alone and then start to feel smothered. HOpefully this will pass with time.

Message edited 7/11/2006 10:39:42 PM.

Re: Any ladies who have had to return to the TTC board come on in (others welcome too)

Bumped because this thread may be helpful- shows the level of support

Message edited 7/11/2006 10:40:10 PM.

Re: Any ladies who have had to return to the TTC board come on in (others welcome too)

I just saw this

& for all.

Re: Any ladies who have had to return to the TTC board come on in (others welcome too)

I think this thread is a wonderful idea- there are so many of us who have suffered losses on this site. It really helps to know you are not alone.

I had a D&C on March 3 and was very fortunate to get pregnant only one cycle later. But like Jamie said, it is so different this time. When I found out I was pregnant this time, DH and I didn't even get excited. I wanted too but I just couldn't. I am 15 weeks now and I watch my SIL who is 23 weeks and her pregnancy is so much fun to her. They call it by name and have these cute nicknames- Dh and I really can't for some reason. I want to be excited and am so grateful that I got pregnant again so soon, but I am so afraid if I get excited something bad will happen. I even had a CVS so I know this baby so far is ok. Even then I still worry. I have tried to embrace it and think its all ok but its really hard.

So huge to everyone here- its so hard to loss a baby. Its effects come later on too, even when you get pregnant again. Its so nice to know you are all here.

Re: Any ladies who have had to return to the TTC board come on in (others welcome too)

I felt the same way last year when I m/c. I wanted to TTC right away yet I wasn't allowed due to my molar pregnancy. Then when we got the green light to try, I wanted it so bad yet I was so fearful that it was going to happen again. Mentally, it took me many months to deal (and I consider myself pretty strong). Now that I am PG , the innocense (sp) is missing. Although I am very happy and excited, I feel like I have to hold back a little.
Please know that there are so many of us in the same boat feeling the same way. good luck

Re: Any ladies who have had to return to the TTC board come on in (others welcome too)

I just had my D&C follow up appointment today. Everything seems fine and the Dr. said after my next cycle we could start trying again. It was difficult to be back in the same exam room that I entered last time so full of joy and left in total devestation. I am trying to focus on the future and not allow my last experience taint everything to come.

I hope all you ladies are doing well!!!!

Re: Any ladies who have had to return to the TTC board come on in (others welcome too)

Posted by Jamie

I have shared my story with some of the girls on the board, but I just want to add to it.

After I had my m/c I was not ready to try again for awhile. When I was finally ready I was able to get PG again rather quickly. I was lucky. When I found out I was PG with my daughter I wasn't elated like I was the first time. I didn't believe the test and must have taken about 10. Neither my husband or myself allowed ourselves to get too attached to this pregnancy. In the beginning I found myself constantly wiping and checking for blood it was insane. Every twinge sent me straight to the bathroom. Then I fell at 8 weeks. I fell pretty hard too. I went to the dr and saw the baby again and all was good. I spent the next 2 weeks incomplete fear that something would happen. I had a pretty easy first 2 trimesters. So I was even more nervous. I didn't have bad MS and my boobs only really hurt for a short while. As my belly grew I found some reassurance but still prayed, Please just let me get to the next visit and hear the heartbeat or see her. Please don't take this one too. This was a nightly, daily almost hourly prayer. I finally started to relax around 22 weeks when I could feel her kick. Unfortunately my daughter was in a very strange position and I would not get to feel the same kicks that other mommies did. So her kicks were infrequent. I was nervous again. I would ask for sonos almost every trip to the doctors just to check. It was only when she started pushing my pelvis out of alignment and I was in a lot of pain that I could 'relax' that she was ok. Because if she wasn't moving and growing I wouldn't be in this kind of pain.

Then she was born and all was fine. The one thing that was bad was that I wasn't able to relax and completely enjoy my pregnancy because I lived in What if mode. That stress caught up to me I think in the end after she was born. I had bad PPD because I didn't want my pregnancy to be over. I wasn't ready. I hadn't enjoyed it, though I loved being PG, if that makes any sense.

I know that when you guys become PG again and I know you will, try to learn from my errors and relax and enjoy every twinge and every sensation that you feel. It's only nine months and every moment is to be treasured!!!

Hugs and prayers to all and if anyone ever needs to talk feel free to FM me.

Re: Any ladies who have had to return to the TTC board come on in (others welcome too)

Posted by CkGm

I think this thread is a wonderful idea- there are so many of us who have suffered losses on this site. It really helps to know you are not alone.

I had a D&C on March 3 and was very fortunate to get pregnant only one cycle later. But like Jamie said, it is so different this time. When I found out I was pregnant this time, DH and I didn't even get excited. I wanted too but I just couldn't. I am 15 weeks now and I watch my SIL who is 23 weeks and her pregnancy is so much fun to her. They call it by name and have these cute nicknames- Dh and I really can't for some reason. I want to be excited and am so grateful that I got pregnant again so soon, but I am so afraid if I get excited something bad will happen. I even had a CVS so I know this baby so far is ok. Even then I still worry. I have tried to embrace it and think its all ok but its really hard.

So huge to everyone here- its so hard to loss a baby. Its effects come later on too, even when you get pregnant again. Its so nice to know you are all here.

Re: Any ladies who have had to return to the TTC board come on in (others welcome too)

GREAT THREAD IDEA.
DH and I found out we had a D/S baby and at 19 weeks, after much careful thought, we ended the pregnancy. Then a month later, I hemmoraged badly at work and needed to have a full D&C in the hospital.
that was a month ago and now after our several months of hell and crying and saying "why us?", we are ready to begin TTC again.
but as I say to DH, we have a triple wammie in our corner - it could take a while to get PG (we were lucky the first time around it happend right away), I could suffer a M/C since thats what we're telling everyone that happened to us this past time or we could have another D/S baby.
we are PETRIFIED, but we KNOW more than anything that we want a healthy baby of our own. so, fingers crossed and prayers being said, we'll start TTC in sept. (when our baby would have been born).
to us all!

Re: Any ladies who have had to return to the TTC board come on in (others welcome too)

this is a great thread!
i suffered 2 miscarriages this year, one in november and one in may- both were blighted ovums. i have recently gone to a RE to try to find some answers for the recurrence, but my genetics, blood work and hysterosonogram all came back normal. the dr. called it plain old bad luck. so this month we start trying again, and i am terrified. i dont think i can handle another loss...
baby dust to all of you

Re: Any ladies who have had to return to the TTC board come on in (others welcome too)

Posted by icequeen4700

this is a great thread!
i suffered 2 miscarriages this year, one in november and one in may- both were blighted ovums. i have recently gone to a RE to try to find some answers for the recurrence, but my genetics, blood work and hysterosonogram all came back normal. the dr. called it plain old bad luck. so this month we start trying again, and i am terrified. i dont think i can handle another loss...
baby dust to all of you

Re: Any ladies who have had to return to the TTC board come on in (others welcome too)

I'm sorry you are going through this. I just wanted to send you some