Could you tell me if I am wrong...(sorry, kind of a long vent)

My DH has his daughter this weekend and it just works out that AF came on Thurs so my blood work needs to be done on Sat morning and I wanted him to come. Now my dh is telling me that he doesnt want to wake his daughter that early (630am) so she can come with us for the blood work, that I will have to go alone. His daughter is 12yo and this blood work is for US to have a baby. Her mother leaves her alone all the time and the lab is only 5-10 minutes from our house. He wants me to wait until she wakes up (which could be 11am) then we all will go. There a couple of things I dont like about that 1 - Anything that goes on in our lives she tells her mom and I would like my health not to be passed along and 2 - I have to fast no eating after midnight until the tests are done. Do you think I am just being B-tchy? Also, he took off today (hes in heating) to go fishing but he cant take off to go with me to the dr on 11/11 (Fri) for the results. The drs office only has evening appts one night a week and the next available one is after AF shows again and I dont want to wait that long.. Ughhh!!!

Message edited 10/28/2005 11:39:33 AM.

Re: Could you tell me if I am wrong...(sorry, kind of a long vent)

I would be annoyed too. But getting his daughter up that early is a tad unfair. If she's left home alone anyway, why can't you just leave her to sleep? You'll be back before she's even awake.

Re: Could you tell me if I am wrong...(sorry, kind of a long vent)

I think, what you are feeling is definitely something, almost all of us deal with when ttc and having to get tested for it.

Dh's tend remove themselves from the reality of the situation. My dh never used to want to hear me speak about all this stuff. He didn't want to know about blood work and u/s he said it 'bothered' him. He now has no choice because it's one of the main focuses of our relationship.

This is what I would do. I would just get the bloodwork done....without him. It's going to be over very fast and it's not painful. It's a prick, and then it's over.

I would not want his daughter there, because, 12 year olds know a lot :) and she will know exactly what's going on by just asking a few questions :)

When you get the results ....and need to see the DR...maybe he will go to that with you. I would tell him, that, having two people there is better than one. Two people can look at things differently and ask different questions and retain the information more.

I don't take dh to my bloodwork appts, or even my sonos....but I try to take him,....when I have a day 3 consult. Having him there to discuss things with the doctor, seems to make the doctor, explain more.

This is a team effort...however, for men, a lot of them repress it and don't want to deal with it head on, until they 'have' to.

Message edited 10/28/2005 1:33:31 PM.

Re: Could you tell me if I am wrong...(sorry, kind of a long vent)

I understand about being upset, I would be too. But I would just go myself. Its only blood - it takes 2 minutes and he wouldnt even be in the room with you, then you go home. I would just go early, get it done with and have the rest of the day to do what you want - and the daughter wont know about it.

Re: Could you tell me if I am wrong...(sorry, kind of a long vent)

I would go alone --- it's quick and easy. You may need DH more later on down the line.

My DH didn't go with me to any appts. - only the very first U/S and we couldn't see or hear anything anyway.

Re: Could you tell me if I am wrong...(sorry, kind of a long vent)

Why dont you guys compromise and wake his daughter up around 9am and go for the bloodwork. This way you arent starving, and you dont have to wake her up at the crack of dawn.
About taking the day off-men dont think!

Re: Could you tell me if I am wrong...(sorry, kind of a long vent)

Re: Could you tell me if I am wrong...(sorry, kind of a long vent)

I would go alone. I do most of this stuff alone anyway. I've even done IUI's alone. Not to make DH sound bad but he works a lot and it's hard for him to get off. I have been at my company for many years so I do have the flexibility to take off for all these appts and he does not. He's come with me to 3 IUI's and that's it...everything else is just me. He will be coming to our IVF consult though because I feel he needs to hear everything the Dr. tells us.

I'd go first thing in the morning to get it over with and then you have the rest of the day to spend together.

Re: Could you tell me if I am wrong...(sorry, kind of a long vent)

I completely understand about you wanting DH there for support, but I would just go alone. Expecially that you don't want your step-daughter to monitor and report back what is going on. I would go for the bloodwork without him.