We got an offer on our house- update below

And I am so torn. We STILL dont know if we want to move to NC...or somewhere else in NJ. Problem is, my DH wants to move near the water in NJ and I would like to stay in this area. We are just not communicating properly about this...UGH plus the thought of packing is making me have chest pain. I dont know if I want to go through with this.

Message edited 5/7/2006 8:40:02 AM.

Re: We got an offer on our house

Oh Jen...

If I were you, I'd wait- it is a big deal and you both do need to communicate with each other clearly about this... moving will add a lot of stress, and packing is NEVER fun

Re: We got an offer on our house

if i were you...i would wait until i was sure what i wanted to do.

Good Luck

Re: We got an offer on our house

Posted by Redhead

if i were you...i would wait until i was sure what i wanted to do.

Good Luck

Re: We got an offer on our house

Posted by Redhead

if i were you...i would wait until i was sure what i wanted to do.

Good Luck

Re: We got an offer on our house

Posted by Marcie

Posted by Redhead

if i were you...i would wait until i was sure what i wanted to do.

Good Luck

I agree. You both need to be on the same page about things, otherwise everything else is going to be difficult

Re: We got an offer on our house

I know..and he told me this morning, we will do whatever you want to do...and I said, see this is the problem - that is a HUGE burden for me alone to hold..to make a decision affecting our lives!!!

Re: We got an offer on our house

Posted by MrsTC

I know..and he told me this morning, we will do whatever you want to do...and I said, see this is the problem - that is a HUGE burden for me alone to hold..to make a decision affecting our lives!!!

Re: We got an offer on our house

Coming from someone who has to be out of her home in a month with nowhere to live, I would wait until you are sure about what you want to do. We even know where we want to live and this is still extraordinarily stressful not finding a house to call our new home. Hand in there- I know you will do what your heart says to do

Re: We got an offer on our house

Update - sort of:

the couple who made the offer on our house are coming today with their parents to look at it again. my DH and I had a long talk yesterday and we basically laid out on the table what we both really wanted.

We could:

1) Move to another area in NJ and probably be happy, nice house, etc but both of us would have to continue to bust our butts and I would not be a SAHM.

2) We could sell this house, quit our jobs, get an apt down near my MIL in NC, (we would have $ to live on while we looked for jobs - most of which we would use to put down on a house), look for jobs and then buy a house. I am talking houses that would sell for $600k here are under $300k there. I spoke to my Mom last night and she was surprised and said she would of course miss me, but totally understood that DH and I are just trying to think of our future.

The 2nd option is of course more scary - but exciting at the same time. I hate my job so quitting for me would be fine. My DH likes his job so it would be hard for him but he would find something down there pretty easy since he works in the construction field. I was thinking about subbing - I think I will be fine too. And then when we have kids, I could stay home.

So basically, we will go look in NJ this afternoon, but we have to decide soon. If we go into contract with this couple, we have to start packing etc....

Scary yet exciting!!

eta: check out some of these houses:

SC Homes

Message edited 5/7/2006 8:54:58 AM.

Re: We got an offer on our house- update below

The homes in SC are beautiful! I would move there in a heartbeat if DH would agree to it. I thinkyou have to do what is best for you, your DH and your future family. Good Luck today.

Re: We got an offer on our house- update below

Thanks, Dina!! My mom actually sent me some web links to the Dept of Ed down there and the Myrtle Beach chamber of commerce. Although she did say stuff like "looks like a lot of retired people down there" and I answered, yes, perfect for you and dad someday!!! I said, the retired people are in their developments and the families are in another type of development. I also told her if we decide to do this, she and dad will have to come see for themselves!!

Re: We got an offer on our house- update below

UGH! I cannot stand looking at sites like that. I hate to see what $ will buy down south vs. in NY!

you can spend $400-$600K on a 50+ year old house here that needs a ton of work or move down there and for less than $300K have a BRAND NEW GORGEOUS HOUSE!!!!

good luck with your decision!!!!!!

Re: We got an offer on our house- update below

Posted by SweetestOfPeas

UGH! I cannot stand looking at sites like that. I hate to see what $ will buy down south vs. in NY!

you can spend $400-$600K on a 50+ year old house here that needs a ton of work or move down there and for less than $300K have a BRAND NEW GORGEOUS HOUSE!!!!

good luck with your decision!!!!!!

Re: We got an offer on our house- update below

Jen- this is so exciting- the houses look beautiful! It would be hard to be away from your family but to be able to have the choice to be a SAHM is priceless.....

Good luck with your decision!

Message edited 5/7/2006 11:50:11 AM.

Re: We got an offer on our house- update below

Jen,

you know how I feel. I think whatever you decide will be right for you. I think teaching is a GREAT idea and then when it's time for kids....it's easy to get back into, even if you're just subbing. The teacher market anywhere outside NY is DESPERATE. Too many people I know have been recruited FROM NY to go South. I've even considered it myself for when our kids are older.

Personally...I think you should head South....purely for moneys' sake. Your mom understands and I think it'd be a huge relief for you knowing how much better your life will be.

Like I said...I miss my family terribly AT TIMES, but enjoy my life down here. I'm not far from SC, so if you need a friend, I'm here!

Re: We got an offer on our house- update below

I recently heard that Georgia has something called a Hope Scholarship, where if you live in GA for a year your kids can get a full scholarship to college.

Something you want to passively look into as you contemplate a move down south....

Re: We got an offer on our house- update below

Jen -- the houses are absolutely amazing and I am so depressed just looking at them. You ultimately have to do what is right for you, your husband, and your family in the long run. Good luck with your decision --- it's a huge one!!!!

Re: We got an offer on our house- update below

Re: We got an offer on our house- update below

thanks everyone...we are pretty certain this is what we want to do. the only thing holding us back really is my own family. they take things personally...

i'll know more later in the week but in the meantime, it's all i think about!