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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
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What do you do when your best friend's DH sc*ws you over- again?
So some of you know we were supposed to move this weekend. My best friend's DH who is now a friend of DH agreed to help us move. I am pregnant- so I can't do anything. Well then he bailed on us. Finally he said he would help us move tonight. DH and I and Dh's friend moved almost everything yesterday. All we needed him to do was the TV. DH cannot move it himself- its too big and again, I can do nothing.
Well as DH is driving to pick him up- he calls and says he can help DH load up the TV- but not drop it off??!!! So what! We have to be out of the apartment TOMORROW!! So now- we are totally scrrewed!!! Thank G-d my BIL, who has been working since 6 am and has a breakfast meeting tomorrow agreed to help us. He is exhausted and really has to get home, but he waited to help us move.
Now DH and I were supposed to go back to the city to move the last few things (bathroom stuff, etc...). Now I will have to move it tomorrow morning before work, by myself, and leave it for the doorman so DH can pick it up. I work in the city and DH doesn't.
Well I am supposed to go out with my friend, her husband and her sister (who I am close to) for her sister's b-day Friday. Now, I can't see this guy. I will either tell him off- or start crying. I can't do that- its not good for me or my baby. My friend's sister told me that this guy was bad news, but I always defended him. Turns out she was right.
I am going to send an e-mail to my friend that her DH really disappointed and hurt us and that I can't see him because it will upset me too much. For the sake of my baby, its not good for me to get so upset. I am going to tell her how much I love her and want to get together girls only- but I just can't be in the same room with him for now.
I can't believe he put us in this situation... again.
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Posted 10/31/05 10:24 PM  |
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Shorty
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Member since 5/05 30390 total posts
Name:
really
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Re: What do you do when your best friend's DH sc*ws you over- again?
I'm sorry you have to deal with this 
I think you're doing the right thing by staying away from this guy. It's unfortunate that it'll probably have an effect on your relationship w/ your best friend, but the guy seems toxic. Toxic is no good for ANYONE, but especially no good for your baby.
Hang in there
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| Posted 10/31/05 10:28 PM |
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sunny
Life is good!
Member since 5/05 8369 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: What do you do when your best friend's DH sc*ws you over- again?
I think you should think very hard about this before you do it.
It stinks that he did that to you, but in the grand scheme of things I think you will feel it is not such a big deal and may not be worth your friendship with your best friend.
If you really can't stand to see him, I would make up another excuse until you cool off and are able to be around him.
Good luck!
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| Posted 10/31/05 11:27 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: What do you do when your best friend's DH sc*ws you over- again?
I agree with Stephanie. As upset as you are, writing/typing something down usually comes back to bite you. I would make up an excuse to not see him and than decide later if your friendship is girls only.
My guess is her first reaction is going to be to defend him (something you don't want to hear). Her second reaction is going to be to yell at him (which he deserves).
I am somewhat confused - he did help you move everything except the TV?
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| Posted 11/1/05 6:32 AM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: What do you do when your best friend's DH sc*ws you over- again?
Posted by sunny
I think you should think very hard about this before you do it.
It stinks that he did that to you, but in the grand scheme of things I think you will feel it is not such a big deal and may not be worth your friendship with your best friend.
If you really can't stand to see him, I would make up another excuse until you cool off and are able to be around him.
Good luck!
i agree 100%
I would just distance myself for a bit and get over it...
I think that that if this is your best friend she is probably embarrassed by this to and already knows yoru disappointment. So you telling her imo relly does nothing for you.
And for future refereence DON"T RELY ON THIS GUY AGAIN.
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| Posted 11/1/05 6:54 AM |
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dooodles
When you wish upon a star
Member since 5/05 11997 total posts
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Because 2 people fell in love
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Re: What do you do when your best friend's DH sc*ws you over- again?
Posted by Redhead
Posted by sunny
I think you should think very hard about this before you do it.
It stinks that he did that to you, but in the grand scheme of things I think you will feel it is not such a big deal and may not be worth your friendship with your best friend.
If you really can't stand to see him, I would make up another excuse until you cool off and are able to be around him.
Good luck!
i agree 100%
I would just distance myself for a bit and get over it...
I think that that if this is your best friend she is probably embarrassed by this to and already knows yoru disappointment. So you telling her imo relly does nothing for you.
And for future refereence DON"T RELY ON THIS GUY AGAIN.
And if you do tell her what you mentioned, you may only be successful in distancing her from you
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| Posted 11/1/05 7:10 AM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: What do you do when your best friend's DH sc*ws you over- again?
Maybe you guys are right. I am just so hurt. Its the next day- and everything got taken care of- but I am still so angry! I don't know how to distance myself from him without distancing myself from her off, nicely. And I am seeing a lot more of her sister, who can't stand him. In fact- I'm the one who helped the sister (MH) and my friends husband (PA) make peace. And MH was totally right about everything she said about him.
Maybe I will just distance myself from her- not take some calls and all and blame it on being busy. I just don't understand how people can do that. If my DH wanted to do that to my best friend- I would be so mad at him. Right before it all happened- my friend called me and asked what is going on- I told her we were waiting for my husband to pick up her husband to do all this and we were all counting on him and I was waiting for them to come to take me back to the city. And then 20 minutes later he bails on us.
I just don't get people. If I say I'll do something, I am always there. DH is the same way (maybe a little late- but always there). How could my best friend's DH who claims to be one of DH's friends do this? My friend even asked me if DH would invite him to be a groomsman.  Thank G-d DH was smart enough to say only dear old friends.
ETA: OOOHHH- now I am even madder. I found an e-mail my friend sent me yesterday that her DH was planning on coming home at 8 to help us move. When my DH got there- he said he thought they woudl do it earlier and that's why he wasn't available. LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!!! 
Message edited 11/1/2005 8:28:57 AM.
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| Posted 11/1/05 8:25 AM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: What do you do when your best friend's DH sc*ws you over- again?
I have moved so many times and although it sounds cliche, it is one of those times when you discover who your real friends are, and who you can really count on in life.
to you for this, but I think I would also come up with another excuse for not going out with them. Blame it on the pregnancy- that the move wiped you out and you just aren't feeling up to dinner with them. I think if you are going to bring it up to her, it would be better to talk to her about it than write it in an email. Things get so misinterpreted in email and like other people said, it could come back to haunt you.
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| Posted 11/1/05 9:39 AM |
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LadyMaravilla
Fall Is Here
Member since 5/05 12023 total posts
Name:
Sonia
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Re: What do you do when your best friend's DH sc*ws you over- again?
Posted by sunny
I think you should think very hard about this before you do it.
It stinks that he did that to you, but in the grand scheme of things I think you will feel it is not such a big deal and may not be worth your friendship with your best friend.
If you really can't stand to see him, I would make up another excuse until you cool off and are able to be around him.
Good luck!
I totally agree.
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| Posted 11/1/05 9:42 AM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19460 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: What do you do when your best friend's DH sc*ws you over- again?
I just had a thought, what if your best friend's husband told her that he helped you move, and said to her I am coming home early...but he bailed on you and did something else? catch my drift...
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| Posted 11/1/05 9:56 AM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: What do you do when your best friend's DH sc*ws you over- again?
I will try to let it go- but if I can't- I think I will say something- but blame it on me.
I think I may tell her I am very disappointed and upset now- and maybe its the hormones, but I need to do whats best for me and my baby, and for now- what's best is for me to stay away from him until I can calm down. (Just like he needed to do what was best for him by not helping us move- I wouldn't say that), I need to think of my family now. I don't want to say something to him that I will later regret because it will affect my friendship with you. But I am still upset and that is how I feel. All I need is time and it will pass.
Surely that's something she can understand- right? We have been best friends since we were 13 years old. She knows I am very strong and when I am upset with someone, i let them know. In fact, she loves it when I stand up for us when we were treated badly or a friend was treated badly.
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| Posted 11/1/05 10:22 AM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: What do you do when your best friend's DH sc*ws you over- again?
Posted by Shellyesq
I will try to let it go- but if I can't- I think I will say something- but blame it on me.
I think I may tell her I am very disappointed and upset now- and maybe its the hormones, but I need to do whats best for me and my baby, and for now- what's best is for me to stay away from him until I can calm down. (Just like he needed to do what was best for him by not helping us move- I wouldn't say that), I need to think of my family now. I don't want to say something to him that I will later regret because it will affect my friendship with you. But I am still upset and that is how I feel. All I need is time and it will pass.
Surely that's something she can understand- right? We have been best friends since we were 13 years old. She knows I am very strong and when I am upset with someone, i let them know. In fact, she loves it when I stand up for us when we were treated badly or a friend was treated badly.
Is telling her that going to make you feel better?
You just can't distance yourself a while (possibly blaming it on the pg?).
Because although she may think it is great that you stick up for yourself...If she has a idiot DH well that is putting her and yoru friendship in a sticky spot.
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| Posted 11/1/05 10:25 AM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: What do you do when your best friend's DH sc*ws you over- again?
Posted by Redhead
Is telling her that going to make you feel better?
You just can't distance yourself a while (possibly blaming it on the pg?).
Because although she may think it is great that you stick up for yourself...If she has a idiot DH well that is putting her and yoru friendship in a sticky spot.
I will give it some time to let it pass. But if it doesn't pass- then I feel like I have to say something. But I will try to let it rest as long as I can. Maybe it will go away- I hope so.
ETA: I have been e-mailing her about unrelated things and I am not saying anything. I am trying to set up a girls night with some girlfriends so I can still see her- but not him. Hopefully this will all just pass.
Message edited 11/1/2005 10:46:11 AM.
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| Posted 11/1/05 10:29 AM |
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lullabella
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 2246 total posts
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Re: What do you do when your best friend's DH sc*ws you over- again?
Honestly I would not distance myself from my friend over this? You said yourself you have been friends with her since you were 13 years old? While it sukcs her DH bailed on you guys... you now know not to depend on him anymore. If anything let you DH say something to him.
JMHO but I wouldn't blame my friend her DH is a big boy and for all you know she is sick over what he did.
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| Posted 11/1/05 10:51 AM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: What do you do when your best friend's DH sc*ws you over- again?
Posted by lullabella
Honestly I would not distance myself from my friend over this? You said yourself you have been friends with her since you were 13 years old? While it sukcs her DH bailed on you guys... you now know not to depend on him anymore. If anything let you DH say something to him.
JMHO but I wouldn't blame my friend her DH is a big boy and for all you know she is sick over what he did.
I don't blame my friend at all. I wish she woudl have pushed him more, but its not her fault. He is a grown man who should have a conscience of his own. If this is the way he treats friends, he will have to bear the brunt of it.
I will just avoid doing things where her husband is around- but I don't think that will affect our friendship too much. We talk a lot and get together with the girls a lot also. I am just not interested in seeing her husband. For example, I am not going to her house for lunch this weekend or her sister's b-day party. I am going for dinner with her and the girls this week and maybe a girls brunch on Sunday.
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| Posted 11/1/05 11:23 AM |
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