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MrsS2005
Mom of 3
Member since 11/05 13118 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Joint Bank Accounts?
Posted by KellyNYC
To those of you who have separate accounts, do you know roughly how much is in each other's accounts, and have total financial disclosure?
What if you end up struggling one month, do you ask for help?
DH and I have a joint account with our wedding gifts, but have separate accounts otherwise. Eventually we'll merge our accounts (although we may keep some separate). We know how much $ is in each of our accounts. If we merge everything I think we'd fight about what the other spent $ on so for us, it makes sense to keep it separate at least for now.
I've helped out DH financially, and was happy to do it. I know he'd do the same for me. I paid the rent for about 6 months while DH was struggling and I recently paid off his CC debt.
Everyone has different financial situations. For us, the best thing to do now is to keep most things separate, but for others, it's best for them to merge everything.
Message edited 1/5/2006 11:56:01 AM.
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Posted 1/5/06 11:45 AM  |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Joint Bank Accounts?
we have joint only started after the wedding. I handle all the bills. We pay everything jointly..and we each get a set amount a week to spend and usually one or bnoth of us withdraws money as well and we just let each other know we did.
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| Posted 1/5/06 12:22 PM |
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Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
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Re: Joint Bank Accounts?
Posted by KellyNYC
To those of you who have separate accounts, do you know roughly how much is in each other's accounts, and have total financial disclosure?
What if you end up struggling one month, do you ask for help?
We know each other's passwords, so yea, but we don't touch each other's account.
When it comes to struggling, we both throw bucks each other's way, if one needs it. But for the most part, DH gets paid by the hour, and hardly needs help. Me, on the other hand, I have to manage my personal money more because I get the same amount every paycheck.
From what you've mentioned, you & your DH sound like me & mine. DH makes more $ than I do (he gets OT, I don't), so it wouldn't be fair to him if he submitted ALL his paycheck when he's worked hard for his own money. As long as they meet the "quota", and everything is being paid for, why can't they have the option to splurge with their own money?
IMO, I think you should open a joint account (checking for bills & savings for saving), and have a set amount that needs to be transfered into the accounts from each paycheck. And whatever is leftover is up to each of you what to do with it (pay personal bills, treat oneself, buy gifts, or even put more towards the account). After fighting about it for a while, too, that's worked perfectly for us.
Good luck!
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| Posted 1/5/06 1:48 PM |
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DjPiLL
Member since 5/05 3664 total posts
Name:
Richard
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Re: Joint Bank Accounts?
We have been married 8 months now and we still have our separate checking and savings accounts that we primarially use.
Its SOOOOO much easier this way.
We do have a separate shared checking and savings account that we opened for our wedding money. I occasionally put money in there for her to take out for various spending things.
But we split the bills (i pay for most of the bills)... and we pay the bills we are responsible for out of our separate checking accounts.
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| Posted 1/5/06 1:52 PM |
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KellyNYC
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/05 650 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Joint Bank Accounts?
Posted by DjPiLL
We have been married 8 months now and we still have our separate checking and savings accounts that we primarially use.
Its SOOOOO much easier this way.
We do have a separate shared checking and savings account that we opened for our wedding money. I occasionally put money in there for her to take out for various spending things.
But we split the bills (i pay for most of the bills)... and we pay the bills we are responsible for out of our separate checking accounts.
So you are each responsible for your own bills as well - i.e. own credit cards, cell phones, etc?
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| Posted 1/5/06 1:54 PM |
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DjPiLL
Member since 5/05 3664 total posts
Name:
Richard
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Re: Joint Bank Accounts?
Posted by KellyNYC
To those of you who have separate accounts, do you know roughly how much is in each other's accounts, and have total financial disclosure?
What if you end up struggling one month, do you ask for help?
We pretty much know what each other is doing or has moneywise. We just decide to keep the accounts separate.
Why are you pushing this joint account thing if he doesn't want to do it? If it was me... i find it hard enough to balance out all of the bank account that I have. If i have to take into account all my wife's accounts... i would drive myself nuts.
I can find many other ways to "being a family" than by combining bank accounts.
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| Posted 1/5/06 1:56 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Joint Bank Accounts?
we have always had joint accounts.
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| Posted 1/5/06 2:00 PM |
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DjPiLL
Member since 5/05 3664 total posts
Name:
Richard
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Re: Joint Bank Accounts?
Posted by KellyNYC
So you are each responsible for your own bills as well - i.e. own credit cards, cell phones, etc?
I pay:
Mortgage
Property Taxes
Homeowners Insurance
My Car Loan
Water
Cellphones (for both of us)
Slomins (Heating & Alarm System)
She pays:
Her Car Loan
Electric
My Life Insurance Policy
Cable (about $10 a month since she gets it free)
Car Insurance
My portion is about 70-80% of the total bills of the house... give or take.
We each pay our own credit card bills and we each have our own spending cash we pull from our separate accounts. This way we don't complain about each other's spending habits.
And do yourself a favor and don't push the "joint accounts" thing if he isn't up for it, especially if he is already paying the majority of the bills.
ETA: **** i forgot the heating oil and the security system. I gotta pay for that too. 
Message edited 1/5/2006 2:04:21 PM.
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| Posted 1/5/06 2:01 PM |
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KellyNYC
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/05 650 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Joint Bank Accounts?
Message edited 1/31/2006 5:20:34 PM.
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| Posted 1/5/06 2:03 PM |
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DjPiLL
Member since 5/05 3664 total posts
Name:
Richard
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Re: Joint Bank Accounts?
Posted by KellyNYC
I am not "pushing it," which is why I am posting this question here.
My response to you was simply out of curiosity, in wondering if that would work for us, rather than an accusatory, critical reply.
Thats understandable. If you aren't pushing it... then thats cool.
But like I said... if he is not into the joint thing... i would just leave it alone because I can totally relate to how he feels.
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| Posted 1/5/06 2:05 PM |
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KellyNYC
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/05 650 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Joint Bank Accounts?
Posted by DjPiLL
Posted by KellyNYC
So you are each responsible for your own bills as well - i.e. own credit cards, cell phones, etc?
I pay:
Mortgage
Property Taxes
Homeowners Insurance
My Car Loan
Water
Cellphones (for both of us)
She pays:
Her Car Loan
Electric
My Life Insurance Policy
Cable (about $10 a month since she gets it free)
Car Insurance
My portion is about 70-80% of the total bills of the house... give or take.
We each pay our own credit card bills and we each have our own spending cash we pull from our separate accounts. This way we don't complain about each other's spending habits.
Message edited 1/31/2006 5:20:54 PM.
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| Posted 1/5/06 2:06 PM |
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DjPiLL
Member since 5/05 3664 total posts
Name:
Richard
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Re: Joint Bank Accounts?
Posted by KellyNYC
I guess I just don't want to feel like I am always struggling, while he has total financial freedom, especially after we are married.
Does this make sense?
If you feel you are struggling. Then you should have him pay more bills. Take on more rent. You can do this and still keep the accounts separate. That will fly better with him if you approach it this way.
There are PLENTY of times where my wife will come to me asking for "stuff". Like she wants new clothes... new this... new that.
A lot of the times I will either give her the money... or I will tell her "just pull the cash out of the shared/joint account".
This is why I keep a joint account on the side that isn't used too often (so she has access to a separate pool of cash). Then after she buys what she wants... i just replenish the joint account.
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| Posted 1/5/06 2:09 PM |
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GenLCSW
Baby # 3 is here!!!
Member since 7/05 21138 total posts
Name:
Genna
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Re: Joint Bank Accounts?
We have both separate and joint accounts
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| Posted 1/5/06 2:11 PM |
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Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
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Re: Joint Bank Accounts?
Posted by KellyNYC
This is pretty much how things are right now for us as well, though I split the rent with him. He makes nearly double what I make, however, and money is never an issue with him, as it oftentimes is for me. I guess I just don't want to feel like I am always struggling, while he has total financial freedom, especially after we are married.
Does this make sense?
Definitely makes sense, but maybe you can try to talk to him about contributing more, so you can have a lil more for yourself?
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| Posted 1/5/06 2:11 PM |
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KellyNYC
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/05 650 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Joint Bank Accounts?
Yeah, that's an option also. I always offer to pay for things, i.e. dinner, groceries, movies, etc, so I suppose I can cut back on that as well. And, I know I need to learn to ask for help, instead of sucking it up and struggling sometimes.
Anyway, thanks for the advice!
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| Posted 1/5/06 2:13 PM |
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DjPiLL
Member since 5/05 3664 total posts
Name:
Richard
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Re: Joint Bank Accounts?
Posted by KellyNYC
Yeah, that's an option also. I always offer to pay for things, i.e. dinner, groceries, movies
LOL thats more than my wife does. 
I pay for 95% of all the restaurant bills.
I pay for practically all the groceries (My wife would eat a popcorn dinner before going to the supermarket). 
And the movies... I usually pay although she will occasionally pay for a movie if its something only she wants to see. 
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| Posted 1/5/06 2:15 PM |
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KellyNYC
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/05 650 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Joint Bank Accounts?
Message edited 1/31/2006 5:21:13 PM.
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| Posted 1/5/06 2:18 PM |
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DjPiLL
Member since 5/05 3664 total posts
Name:
Richard
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Re: Joint Bank Accounts?
Posted by KellyNYC
Sounds like she has it pretty good! I need to start taking lessons from her!
Pretty good? My wife has it VERY GOOD. 
(even though she will only admit this when she wants something)
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| Posted 1/5/06 2:20 PM |
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MommyofG
just the girls
Member since 5/05 9461 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Joint Bank Accounts?
We have separate accounts. I prefer it that way, when we have children then we will join them together.
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| Posted 1/5/06 3:33 PM |
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