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jnico
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/05 798 total posts
Name:
Joanne
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Opinions Needed on Wedding issue
Hi all. My bil is getting married this July in N.C. My dh is the best man and my son is the ringbearer along side my nephew. I was not asked to be in the wedding because according to my dh, they have too many girls as it is and not enough guys to walk along side them. At first I wasn't upset because they asked me to do a reading to be a part of it, but the more I think about it the more it is starting to bother me. Half joking my bil said I would be the babysitter looking after my son and his son. I love them both, but I feel like I am going to be sitting out while the bridal party takes pictures and running after two kids. Does not seem like much fun to me. Should I say something to my bil? I don't want them to put me in the wedding at this point, but I am a little hurt. Haven't they heard of two girls walking up the aisle together? Am I wrong on this?
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Posted 3/29/06 12:08 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Nik09
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 1982 total posts
Name:
Nikole
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Re: Opinions Needed on Wedding issue
Honestly, no. It stinks that you're feelings are hurt but I think to keep peace I wouldn't confront him about not being in the bridal party. They are including you in the wedding by asking you to do a reading.
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| Posted 3/29/06 12:26 AM |
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thewinterone
You make me happy
Member since 5/05 2474 total posts
Name:
cause you are gray.
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Re: Opinions Needed on Wedding issue
I wouldn't say anything to your BIL. I feel it's the couples' decision to choose who they want in the bp (of course regardless of this, you're entitled to be disappointed you weren't asked).
I just think confronting him with your feelings may make things awkward (especially since you don't expect to be put in the bp at this point and what's done is done).
As for the kids, a question........ why wouldn't they be taking pics w/the bp while you had time for yourself?
Good luck with your decision.
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| Posted 3/29/06 12:49 AM |
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Summer05
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 2320 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions Needed on Wedding issue
Posted by woozshle
I wouldn't say anything to your BIL. I feel it's the couples' decision to choose who they want in the bp (of course regardless of this, you're entitled to be disappointed you weren't asked).
I just think confronting him with your feelings may make things awkward (especially since you don't expect to be put in the bp at this point and what's done is done).
As for the kids, a question........ why wouldn't they be taking pics w/the bp while you had time for yourself?
Good luck with your decision.
I agree.
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| Posted 3/29/06 8:18 AM |
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SoinLove
Making big changes
Member since 5/05 16541 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: Opinions Needed on Wedding issue
Posted by Summer05
Posted by woozshle
I wouldn't say anything to your BIL. I feel it's the couples' decision to choose who they want in the bp (of course regardless of this, you're entitled to be disappointed you weren't asked).
I just think confronting him with your feelings may make things awkward (especially since you don't expect to be put in the bp at this point and what's done is done).
As for the kids, a question........ why wouldn't they be taking pics w/the bp while you had time for yourself?
Good luck with your decision.
I agree.
Me too.
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| Posted 3/29/06 8:22 AM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions Needed on Wedding issue
I am really sorry your feelings are hurt, but it would inappropriate to say anything to thiem. The couple can pick whoever they want to be in the BP. I am sure they will appreciate your help with the kids during the pictures but after that, I imagine you would only have your own child to watch.
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| Posted 3/29/06 9:25 AM |
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Shanti
True love
Member since 6/05 12653 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions Needed on Wedding issue
Posted by woozshle
I wouldn't say anything to your BIL. I feel it's the couples' decision to choose who they want in the bp (of course regardless of this, you're entitled to be disappointed you weren't asked).
I just think confronting him with your feelings may make things awkward (especially since you don't expect to be put in the bp at this point and what's done is done).
As for the kids, a question........ why wouldn't they be taking pics w/the bp while you had time for yourself?
Good luck with your decision.
Well said, and I agree
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| Posted 3/29/06 9:27 AM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Opinions Needed on Wedding issue
Posted by Christine
I am really sorry your feelings are hurt, but it would inappropriate to say anything to thiem. The couple can pick whoever they want to be in the BP. I am sure they will appreciate your help with the kids during the pictures but after that, I imagine you would only have your own child to watch.
I agree. I did not have in laws participate in my bridal party or do readings, that was my preference. I like my SILs, and get along well with them, but I wanted to keep things small, and then I asked a niece and a nephew to do readings. I wouldn't take offense to it, and I would be flattered that they included me in the ceremony.
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| Posted 3/29/06 9:34 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions Needed on Wedding issue
I agree with the others about not saying anything. They included you in the wedding by giving you a reading - which to me means they care enough about you to chose you & not someone else.
As for you being the "babysitter", you're in charge of watching your son. BIL's son is still his son. I would like it as an opportunity to get some great pictures. I, DH & my son were all in a wedding party. The pictures look great EXCEPT for the fact that I'm in a color I would never have chosen. You get to pick any dress you'd like now
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| Posted 3/29/06 9:45 AM |
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LAMGAJ28
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Member since 10/05 6039 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions Needed on Wedding issue
Posted by Summer05
Posted by woozshle
I wouldn't say anything to your BIL. I feel it's the couples' decision to choose who they want in the bp (of course regardless of this, you're entitled to be disappointed you weren't asked).
I just think confronting him with your feelings may make things awkward (especially since you don't expect to be put in the bp at this point and what's done is done).
As for the kids, a question........ why wouldn't they be taking pics w/the bp while you had time for yourself?
Good luck with your decision.
I agree.
I agree as well....
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| Posted 3/29/06 9:47 AM |
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kms717
St Philomena Protect My Son
Member since 2/06 2747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Opinions Needed on Wedding issue
I had an uneven bridal party, I think it's horrible to exclude someone who you are close to just to make then numbers even. However, since it's their day, I would let it slide.
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| Posted 3/29/06 9:53 AM |
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Kelly
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/05 681 total posts
Name:
This is it
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Re: Opinions Needed on Wedding issue
It seemed to me that you were asking if you should say something to your BIL about his half-joking comment about you watching the kids.
I probably wouldn't say anything about being in the BP, but I would definitely make it known if you have no intentions of being babysitter that day/night.
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| Posted 3/29/06 9:56 AM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Opinions Needed on Wedding issue
Posted by kms717
I had an uneven bridal party, I think it's horrible to exclude someone who you are close to just to make then numbers even. However, since it's their day, I would let it slide.
I agree, I had an uneven number as well. DH was asked to be in a BP for a FL wedding next year. Due to numbers, I was not asked. I am fine with it, except for the fact that I will not be sitting with DH all night. That is what bums me out. I would not say anything to bride, but I understand your frustrations.
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| Posted 3/29/06 10:00 AM |
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MsG
Should be working
Member since 5/05 2824 total posts
Name:
G
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Re: Opinions Needed on Wedding issue
Posted by nrthshgrl
I agree with the others about not saying anything. They included you in the wedding by giving you a reading - which to me means they care enough about you to chose you & not someone else.
As for you being the "babysitter", you're in charge of watching your son. BIL's son is still his son. I would like it as an opportunity to get some great pictures. I, DH & my son were all in a wedding party. The pictures look great EXCEPT for the fact that I'm in a color I would never have chosen. You get to pick any dress you'd like now
I agree, and I like your thinking!
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| Posted 3/29/06 10:03 AM |
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MrsPornStar
Partners in crime
Member since 10/05 14656 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: Opinions Needed on Wedding issue
Posted by woozshle
I wouldn't say anything to your BIL. I feel it's the couples' decision to choose who they want in the bp (of course regardless of this, you're entitled to be disappointed you weren't asked).
I just think confronting him with your feelings may make things awkward (especially since you don't expect to be put in the bp at this point and what's done is done).
As for the kids, a question........ why wouldn't they be taking pics w/the bp while you had time for yourself?
Good luck with your decision.
Well said. I completely agree with this.
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| Posted 3/29/06 10:18 AM |
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jnico
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/05 798 total posts
Name:
Joanne
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Re: Opinions Needed on Wedding issue
Thanks everyone. I kind of knew already that I shouldn't say anything, but needed some reassurance I guess. The only reason I was even considering saying something was because my bil and I are very close. He is closer to me then my own brother is, but I think it would be awkward to say something at this point. I am honored about saying a reading, even if I do hate public speaking. As for babysitting, I think my FIL will also help me with my nephew. It may not be the best wedding I have ever been too, but it could be fun dancing with two year olds!
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| Posted 3/29/06 10:30 AM |
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