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Am I Wrong? IL related question

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Pumpkin
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

3353 total posts

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Am I Wrong? IL related question

My DH's parents invited us to a bbq today and I do not want to go. His stepmother irks me, (she is judgemental, and a million other things) and I have homework, errands to run and just have a lot going and do not want to deal with her today. Of course my DH is mad. Why is it he cannot just go and say i have homework, etc. Do you always go with your DH/SO when they go to their parents house? Sorry to vent.

Posted 9/4/06 1:00 PM
 
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it

Member since 5/05

18602 total posts

Name:
The cure IS worse!

Re: Am I Wrong? IL related question

No we don't always go. Do they live close to you? If so, I would not feel horrible about it at all!
You can see them another day and like you said, why can't DH go with out you?

Posted 9/4/06 1:02 PM
 

Pumpkin
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

3353 total posts

Name:

Re: Am I Wrong? IL related question

Posted by DebG

No we don't always go. Do they live close to you? If so, I would not feel horrible about it at all!
You can see them another day and like you said, why can't DH go with out you?



Thank you! I am glad someone understands. They live on island about 20 minutes away. I have no idea why my Dh won't go alone. I guess he feels we are invited as a couple.

Posted 9/4/06 1:05 PM
 

bklyngirl
COULD THIS BE MY YEAR??

Member since 6/05

15758 total posts

Name:
Gail

Re: Am I Wrong? IL related question

we always go together. maybe he just wants you there. tell him he have too much to do and u have school work. when did she invite u guys

Posted 9/4/06 1:05 PM
 

Mrs-Boop
My Babies

Member since 5/05

4956 total posts

Name:
Jaime

Re: Am I Wrong? IL related question

Altough I really like having DH with me when we go to places, if he really doesn't want to go I don't force him to. If I were you I would tell him you have a million things to do and he should go, have a good time and if you get done what you need to you'll stop by later!!Chat Icon

Posted 9/4/06 1:06 PM
 

BobBsWife
No more school= too much time!

Member since 5/05

1395 total posts

Name:
Tracy

Re: Am I Wrong? IL related question

I am in exactly the same situation!! I am refusing to go to anymore family events. I have no problem with him going but I am done until I get some respect!!

Posted 9/4/06 1:11 PM
 

Juliet
Family is Complete!

Member since 5/05

5913 total posts

Name:
Juliet

Re: Am I Wrong? IL related question

I understand your pain. I have had many days when I didn't want to go to IL's and DH guilted me. Thankfully mine moved to Poland!

I know that in theory it sounds like we should stay home and do the things we need to do.
Unfortunately, what I have seen happen is that for some reason, us not going with DH comes across that there is trouble in our marriages. It is not true, but us staying home puts up a barrier. Before we know it, our DH's visit their parents alone and we are the bad DIL's.

Ugh! I am sorry you are dealing with this. The best thing your DH could do for you, would be to stay home with you. Either that or do what DH and I have done. Bring your schoolwork and a laptop if you have it and make it very apparent that you are making this effort to be with them but you have work to do!

Posted 9/4/06 1:14 PM
 

Pumpkin
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

3353 total posts

Name:

Re: Am I Wrong? IL related question

Posted by BobBsWife

I am in exactly the same situation!! I am refusing to go to anymore family events. I have no problem with him going but I am done until I get some respect!!



Aw I am sorry. It is not that they disrespect me. I am sorry you have to go through that.
My Dh stepmom just calls and "commands" us to come over when they want us to and I have had it. They can go months without calling or inviting but when they say come we are supposed to run and I do not live my life that way. My DH doesnt say a word to them.

Message edited 9/4/2006 1:21:56 PM.

Posted 9/4/06 1:14 PM
 

johnsae
Sip.

Member since 3/06

18677 total posts

Name:

Re: Am I Wrong? IL related question

I totally understand. I'm sorry, but I cannot possibly go to every family-related function that DH wants me to go to. I just don't go - I have to keep my sanity.

Posted 9/4/06 1:24 PM
 

Liz
LIF Adolescent

Member since 5/05

674 total posts

Name:
Liz

Re: Am I Wrong? IL related question

I never make DH go to a family function that he doesn't feel like, but DH will not go to any of his family functions without me. I see my family often so if DH is doing other things or just feels like relaxing at home it's not a big deal to me. You should just stay home and have him go and explain that you were studying.

Posted 9/4/06 3:17 PM
 

nancygrace
I'm 2!

Member since 9/05

6616 total posts

Name:
Live*Love*Laugh

Re: Am I Wrong? IL related question

Posted by Pumpkin

My DH's parents invited us to a bbq today and I do not want to go. His stepmother irks me, (she is judgemental, and a million other things) and I have homework, errands to run and just have a lot going and do not want to deal with her today. Of course my DH is mad. Why is it he cannot just go and say i have homework, etc. Do you always go with your DH/SO when they go to their parents house? Sorry to vent.

funny that u should post this bc DH has a problem too when i cant attend his parents, friends etc... however im so the opposite i can go by myself to things MEN!!!!!!!

Posted 9/4/06 3:43 PM
 

Redhead
You Live, You Learn

Member since 5/05

31871 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

Re: Am I Wrong? IL related question

No we don't always go together...But usually if we are invited over for holidays we do.
That is...unless i am seeing my family.

BUT if i wasn't doing anything big and my DH wanted me to go...I would go.

Posted 9/4/06 4:07 PM
 
 

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