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littlekb
LIF Infant
Member since 5/05 98 total posts
Name:
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Need suggestions please-adoption related
Hi,
I'm usually just a lurker because I'm pretty shy about posting. Anyway, I really need some advice and I was hoping someone could help me.
I'm having the meeting of a lifetime this weekend and need some advice/opinions. Long story short, I was adopted and it was a closed adoption. It seems the adoption agency accidently left paperwork in my adoption file with my biological mother's name on it. Of couse, I look through the file every year on my birthday and never noticed it until my mother pointed it out to me this year. Anyway, after about 20 minutes of searching on the internet I located her. A good friend of mine made the initial contact because I wasn't ready to and to be honest, I really didn't think it was going to be her. Anyway, it turned out my friend was calling my biological grandparents. Soon after, my biological mother called me. This all happened the week a turned 30 and it all happened so fast. We are going to be meeting for the first time this weekend. I'm extremely excited. The meeting is going to be at biological grandparents house with my parents, DH and biological mother and biological grandparents. I was hoping for some suggestions as to what to bring. I was thinking of maybe putting together a little album of pictures of me growing up? Is that stupid? Does anybody have any other suggestions? I mean, what's an appropriate gift to give somebody who gave you life? And what to I bring biological grandparents?
I gave you all the short recap version but it truly is the most amazing, touching thing I have ever experienced in my entire life.
Message edited 4/25/2006 9:48:15 AM.
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Posted 4/25/06 9:47 AM  |
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Lisa
I'm a PANK!!!
Member since 5/05 22334 total posts
Name:
Professional Aunts No Kids
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Re: Need suggestions please-adoption related
that is a wonderful story!
As far as a gift...you might not have time to do this but what about some pictures of you growing up. I bet they would love to see your gowing up years!!
Have a good time and please let us know how it went!
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| Posted 4/25/06 9:51 AM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Need suggestions please-adoption related
I'm an adoptee too. Never met my b-parents, but I can certainly understand what a momentous occasion this is. I think the photo album is a great idea!
Please let us know how it goes!
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| Posted 4/25/06 10:42 AM |
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MrsJ
I love my Katie Bug
Member since 5/05 11357 total posts
Name:
Kathy
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Re: Need suggestions please-adoption related
I think pictures would be a great idea!
I hope your meeting goes well - its so exciting! Good luck!
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| Posted 4/25/06 11:14 AM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Need suggestions please-adoption related
So wonderful! It's going to be so emotional!
Definitely the pics..maybe have a conversatioon about your growing up years, what your interests were..etc...
Ask about other siblings...cousins..see if there are any similarities.
I'm so happy for you.
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| Posted 4/25/06 11:54 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need suggestions please-adoption related
Wow! Good luck with everything! I can't even imagine how excited/nervous you must feel.
I would say a photo album of you growing up would be wonderful. I'm sure it would be wonderful for her (and your biological grandparents) to know that they made the right decision, giving you a wonderful home when she couldn't.
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| Posted 4/25/06 2:10 PM |
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mommy2bella
Where does time go?
Member since 12/05 9747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Need suggestions please-adoption related
I think a photo album would be an amazing idea...I am so glad that you are having a positive experience and hope that all goes well this weekend...
Good Luck and Happy Belated Birthday  
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| Posted 4/25/06 2:19 PM |
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littlekb
LIF Infant
Member since 5/05 98 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need suggestions please-adoption related
Thank you all so much. Yes, it is a very emotional experience but it's also such a wonderful heart warming experience as well. I can't wait to meet them.
Okay, so I'll definately put pictures together of me growing up but what should I give her parents? They are the ones who basically "forced" her to give me up (she was only 16). So in a way, if it weren't for them then my life would have been so different. I feel I owe them a thank you as well. Any suggestions for them?
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| Posted 4/25/06 2:24 PM |
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mommy2bella
Where does time go?
Member since 12/05 9747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Need suggestions please-adoption related
Posted by caryn01
what should I give her parents? They are the ones who basically "forced" her to give me up (she was only 16). So in a way, if it weren't for them then my life would have been so different. I feel I owe them a thank you as well. Any suggestions for them?
Hmmmmmm...that's tough because they might feel guilty about it now. I would maybe give them a small framed pic of you on a recent special day (perhaps your wedding day)
I think you have to think of your relationship starting now, not about what and why things happened in the past.
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| Posted 4/25/06 2:27 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need suggestions please-adoption related
I think a heartfelt thank you card to both for them to read later would mean the world to them.
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| Posted 4/25/06 4:07 PM |
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littlekb
LIF Infant
Member since 5/05 98 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need suggestions please-adoption related
I love the letter idea.....thank you!
Message edited 4/25/2006 5:02:59 PM.
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| Posted 4/25/06 5:02 PM |
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Susan
Loving Mommyhood!
Member since 5/05 2391 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Need suggestions please-adoption related
Wow! Being in the process of adoption, I think of my future child having the opportunity to do this one day and hope the opportunity does arise. The letter and pictures are definitely perfect gifts. This is exactly what I have put together for the birthparents of my future child. Good Luck! Please let us know how it went and take pictures!
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| Posted 4/25/06 11:23 PM |
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curley999
Family!
Member since 5/05 2314 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need suggestions please-adoption related
Wow! This is such a huge event and it seems everyone involved has the best intentions which should make it a great meeting. I think a photo album and maybe a framed wedding picture as a gift is a nice idea. Good Luck and let us all know how it goes!!!
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| Posted 4/26/06 9:17 AM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Need suggestions please-adoption related
Posted by curley999
Wow! This is such a huge event and it seems everyone involved has the best intentions which should make it a great meeting. I think a photo album and maybe a framed wedding picture as a gift is a nice idea. Good Luck and let us all know how it goes!!!
My brother is adopted and his biological mom wrote my parents a letter when he was given up. She was so young and so brave..I can't even imagine having to give up a child..it must be devastating.
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| Posted 4/26/06 9:50 AM |
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littlekb
LIF Infant
Member since 5/05 98 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need suggestions please-adoption related
Posted by Susan
Wow! Being in the process of adoption, I think of my future child having the opportunity to do this one day and hope the opportunity does arise. The letter and pictures are definitely perfect gifts. This is exactly what I have put together for the birthparents of my future child. Good Luck! Please let us know how it went and take pictures!
Good luck with your adoption process, it will be a wonderful experience!
Thank you for all your kind responses. I will let you know how everything goes. I plan on taking pictures but I don't want to post any b/c her kids don't know about me and this is a small world so I really don't want to start any trouble.
Again, I really appreciate the responses! 
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| Posted 4/26/06 10:50 AM |
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mommy2bella
Where does time go?
Member since 12/05 9747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Need suggestions please-adoption related
Good Luck! 
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| Posted 4/26/06 12:25 PM |
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