domestic adoption

I just have to say that all of you women are very strong and give hope for brighter days.

Not sure if anyone here knows anything about domestic adoption. Or any organization that deals with that. Im not really sure what the first step would be.

thanks you for your help.

Rosanna

Re: domestic adoption

My SIL adopted domestic through a Lawyer in Nassau County, and my neighbor used the same lawyer. both were successful adoptions. My SIL got a baby from Rochester, she was there for the birth. My neighbor got a baby from Tennessee. The neighbor's child seems a bit small and frail for her age. My neice is wonderful and beautiful.

Re: domestic adoption

thanks,what is the first step, calling the lawyer or an agency?

Re: domestic adoption

I have to find the name and #.

He has a meeting every wednesday, and I think you have to $500 for the mtg, which goes towards the retainer fee you decide to use him. I thinks the cost does not go beyond $10-13,000.

I talked to a woman in the adoption field who I met unexpectly, and she said to steer away from domestic adoptions due to AFS, AIDS, drugs, etc...and that helped us make our decision.

Let me see if I can find the name and # of the lawyer. It may take a day or so.

Re: domestic adoption

There are few things to consider with domestic adoption:
Are you open to all races/religions or only one?

You can use an agency or a private lawyer.

There are risks in domestic adoption that are not really the same as international adoption.

Are you okay with an open adoption...which after researching more families are. It is NOT the birthmother coming and taking your child on vacations and calling everyday.

My agency does domestic adoptions
www.whfc.org
You call and discuss your options with them.

Again, with domestic adoption the birthparents have full control over the process and choicing of the adoptive parents. The process is not as "sure thing" as the international adoption process. In the US birthparents can change their minds prior to signing the papers, and in same states, even for 90 days after signing the papers. I always say that people should go into any adoption process knowing all of the pros and cons of each kind. Also, I know someone who had 2 failed adoptions (meaning the birth parents decided to parent) but her agency was so uncaring about it. I think with any adoption who is working with you is key to not only the sucessful adoption but for helping you emotionally with the process. Also, you need to know ALL costs and refund processes. In domestic adoption the costs can vary greatly so you need to ask about every possible case scenerio with the agency/lawyer and get it in writing. Also, you want to know if an adoption match fails what money are you refunded and by who.
Adoption of an all white baby in the US is not impossible but you may have a long wait since there are just not nearly as many white babies as hopeful adoptive parents. Of course it does happen but you just need to know, going in, that you could get a baby in 1 month or 5 years. There is no crystal ball about it.

Good Luck

Message edited 1/23/2006 12:19:00 PM.

Re: domestic adoption

Hi Rosanna,

Thanks for your wonderful words. I wish you the best of luck in your adoption journey if you decide to take that route.

There are many different routes you can take should you decide to adopt domestically. I suggest reading up on it and making the decision that's best for you. I personally would prefer to go through an agency first. Try checking out a book from the library on domestic adoption. I even bought "Adoption for Dummies" when I was first starting and found it very helpful. AND there's always your online resources which are probably better than most of the published books out there.

Good luck! Re: the whole domestic vs. international debate, it's a very personal choice. There are pros and cons to both. I know people who have successfully done both and all are very happy.

Susan

Re: domestic adoption

Thank you for all of the advice. I really appreciate it. This is a very hard time for me. Been through so much with infertility and now coming to a realization that i may not get pregnant. It is great to know there are so many wonderful people on these boards to support you and answer so many questions.

thanks.

Re: domestic adoption

My Aunt adopted 2 babys at birth who are actual brothers from Texas (they are 15 months apart). I could ask her if she still has the information if you'd like.