Don't know where to post this, and I'm most comfortable over here

I just need to get it off my chest. Sorry if it's disjointed, I'm still trying to wrap my head around it all.....

So my dad has been going through a rough time the past 6 months or so. His wife decided to leave him suddenly. They were living in Georgia, and she took a job in Utah and moved there last month. My dad is an alcoholic and was having a tough time dealing with the split, he started drinking and abusing prescription meds. He was in the mental unit of a hospital for about 2 weeks and has been seeing 2 counselors since. Added to it, he has a hard time talking about his feelings, he was mentally and physically abused as a kid. He has no family down in Georgia, we're all up here in NY, NJ and Massachusetts.

Anyway, he said he was doing better, responding to treatment, not drinking, that his counselors were really happy with his progross etc. He said that he and his wife were going to get back together and that he was moving to Utah to be with her. He was supposed to fly here today and stay until Sunday to celebrate Sarah's birthday. My dad and I aren't close (I was very bitter when he cheated on my mom and walked out on us) but we've been working on it over the past few years and it's better.

I got a call this morning from his sister that he tried to commit suicide last night. Turns out his wife doesn't want to get back together, but is concerned about his well being so she's been keeping in touch with him. I guess he misunderstood her concern or whatever. He was drinking and took a whole bunch of pills and called his wife and was telling her all this and she tried to talk him out of it but he said it was too late, it was already done. She called the police and they went over and he'd vomited a lot so it got the pills out of his system. They took him to the ER and they pumped his stomach. Not sure where things stand right now, but I'm guessing that he'll be admitted to the psych ward again.

I have the phone number to the ER. Do you think I should call, or should I give him a few days to calm down? I don't want to make things worse, especially since our relationship is touchy and I don't want to embarass him anymore that I'm sure he already is.

Thanks for listening.

Re: Don't know where to post this, and I'm most comfortable over here

I'm not sure what I would do, I just want to send you hugs and hope that your Dad is okay. Actually now that I think about it, I would probably call...

Re: Don't know where to post this, and I'm most comfortable over here

I would say definitely call! I understand that you two aren't close but I can only imagine that a person who attempts suicide must feel impossibly alone. Calling will maybe help show him that he is not.

I hope things get better soon!

Re: Don't know where to post this, and I'm most comfortable over here

Message edited 2/8/2007 11:16:14 AM.

Re: Don't know where to post this, and I'm most comfortable over here

Posted by BabyAvocado

I would say definitely call! I understand that you two aren't close but I can only imagine that a person who attempts suicide must feel impossibly alone. Calling will maybe help show him that he is not.

I hope things get better soon!

Re: Don't know where to post this, and I'm most comfortable over here

Posted by JRG71

Posted by BabyAvocado

I would say definitely call! I understand that you two aren't close but I can only imagine that a person who attempts suicide must feel impossibly alone. Calling will maybe help show him that he is not.

I hope things get better soon!

I agree 100%

Re: Don't know where to post this, and I'm most comfortable over here

I am so sorry!

I would call.

Re: Don't know where to post this, and I'm most comfortable over here

Thanks everyone! I just talked to my cousin who's in med school and has worked in the ER. He said that I should call tomorrow once he's been processed and is in a regular room. He said it's too hectic in the ER for them to get him to the phone.

I don't want to wait that long, so I plan on trying first this evening, hopefully by then he'll be in a regular room.

Thanks again.

Re: Don't know where to post this, and I'm most comfortable over here

I'm FM'ing you.

Re: Don't know where to post this, and I'm most comfortable over here

aw Cathy many many

Definitely call your Dad when you think he will be in a room, he needs to know that he does have people that love him and support him.

Re: Don't know where to post this, and I'm most comfortable over here

lots of hugs!!! hope all goes well with your phone call. let him know he is not alone.

Re: Don't know where to post this, and I'm most comfortable over here

I would call at the first opportunity... it sounds like your father is tremendously lost, sad and lonely, and I'm sure that any effort you make to reach out to him, especially considering the fact that your relationship is strained, will mean more to him than you can imagine.

Re: Don't know where to post this, and I'm most comfortable over here

Your dad is obviously hanging on by a thread. But the truth is only he can help himself. I would send him a photo of you and the baby..let him know that despite the problems of the past that you love him and want time to mend your issues. I am very sorry that things have gone to this level...it is truly sad. But in the end he has to want to get better for himself. I hope he finds the strength.

Re: Don't know where to post this, and I'm most comfortable over here

Cathy I would definitely call. Like many of the posters have already said, he must be feeling like suicide was the only solution. You need to remind him that he is still a father (regardless of a shaky relationship) and now a grandfather. He needs to know that he is still needed and loved. Also, knowing that he was supposed to fly out to you today, maybe this was a cry for help from you? Maybe, in some really strange way, this is how he is reaching out to you?
I am so sorry that you are going through this.

Re: Don't know where to post this, and I'm most comfortable over here

I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope your father gets the help he needs. I think you will feel so much better if you call him. I'm sure it will mean a lot to him.

Re: Don't know where to post this, and I'm most comfortable over here

Wow, that is a tough one. I guess do what you feel would be best in your heart. Perhaps knowing that you care and want to be sure he is ok, would be good for him to hear. I don't know. Is there anyone there with him you can ask? Good luck.

Re: Don't know where to post this, and I'm most comfortable over here

Posted by BabyAvocado

I would say definitely call! I understand that you two aren't close but I can only imagine that a person who attempts suicide must feel impossibly alone. Calling will maybe help show him that he is not.

I hope things get better soon!

Re: Don't know where to post this, and I'm most comfortable over here

Posted by FelAndJon

Cathy I would definitely call. Like many of the posters have already said, he must be feeling like suicide was the only solution. You need to remind him that he is still a father (regardless of a shaky relationship) and now a grandfather. He needs to know that he is still needed and loved. Also, knowing that he was supposed to fly out to you today, maybe this was a cry for help from you? Maybe, in some really strange way, this is how he is reaching out to you?
I am so sorry that you are going through this.

Re: Don't know where to post this, and I'm most comfortable over here

Call him. I am sure he would love to hear your voice.

Re: Don't know where to post this, and I'm most comfortable over here

Oh my you must be having a tough time

What is your gut instinct to do? Maybe you can even call the ED staff and fill them in on what's been going on...

Re: Don't know where to post this, and I'm most comfortable over here

I'm so sorry

Re: Don't know where to post this, and I'm most comfortable over here

putting the past aside, I would call him to tell him you love him and support him

Re: Don't know where to post this, and I'm most comfortable over here

Im sending you FM

Re: Don't know where to post this, and I'm most comfortable over here

So sorry about your dad. I would definitely call. I hope your call is a good one, let us know how it goes!