Sorry SWR but you guys always give good advice..

So I have this friend, we will call her A, I've known her for about 5 year's now, and she's a year older than me, very competitive, and seems alittle jealous, especially since even though I know her longer, I didn't ask her to be in my bridal party. (We did talk about it, and since she is not working right now we agreed that it would be too hard on her to be in the bridal party, she wasn't happy but she accepted it because basically she had no choice)

Now my Best friend, who I've known about 4 years (but she is like a sister to me) is in my bridal party, A is very jealous of this and is constantly making comments and trying to cause issues (A is also friends with my MOH (sister) ) between me, my sister and BF. She goes and tells my sister oh but your sister said xyz, and tells me oh but your sister said xyz, and tells my BF oh, Jen said xyz and on and on.

I finally got tired of it and spoke to her about it recently, she understands my choices and how her comments and actions are causing me uneccessary stress, etc. She agreed that she had been behaving badly, since she felt I was leaving her out of the wedding planning and she thought that even though she's not in the bridal party, that she would still be apart of the girl things, etc.

So here is the plm, my sister and BF have made it VERY VERY clear they don't want her to go with us to Miami for my bach weekend. One they feel she will start drama and two they feel it should only be for the bridal party.

So now I feel caught in the middle, I tried to tell my sister and BF, listen she admitted she was a bit jealous and acted stupidly, she's sorry but the girls are not having it, how would you handle this? Honestly I sorta agree with my sister and BF, knowing A, she will start some sort of drama, it's just how she is, my issue is how do I tell her she can't go without hurting her feelings or proving her right that we are leaving her out of things?

Thanks for listening!!
Hugs
~Jen

Message edited 10/18/2005 10:41:37 AM.

Re: Sorry SWR but you guys always give good advice..

That really is a tough situation. I think you need to go with your gut and leave her out of the Miami weekend. What you coudl do is after that, spend a day doing wedding stuff with her so she feels included. Maybe take her to a hair trial or dress shopping or favor shopping or something. YOu can also spend a special day with her doing girly things- manis/ pedis- so she still feels special to you.

Re: Sorry SWR but you guys always give good advice..

I would just stay out of it and let the BP plan whatever they want. It sounds like they are making the right decision and if they keep it to just the BP, I think that could work. If they start inviting other non-BP people, then you might have a problem.

Re: Sorry SWR but you guys always give good advice..

Would she even be able to afford the trip to Miami?? I understand she feels left out, but if she didn't behave badly, maybe she would be included more. Have you included her in any other way, like maybe a reading for your wedding? Maybe she'll stop being so jealous and stop running back and forth if she feels she is included.

Re: Sorry SWR but you guys always give good advice..

Actually, she is doing one of the readings at the wedding, sorry I forgot to add that earlier. Some of the girls on LIW also said to include in some other ways, and let the BP handle the trip, I just don't want to say yes, so I don't feel guilty I don't know I'm so confused urgh!

Re: Sorry SWR but you guys always give good advice..

It's probably best that she does not go because already a few people feel uncomfortable around her. It will bring the whole group dynamics to a not so pleasant level. You want to make sure you enjoy your time and that others can do the same. You can always tell her that everyone will go out one night locally for those who were unable to make the trip. Also, if she's not working, I don't see how she is going to pay for her expenses. And if she is really your friend, she will understand.
Go and have a great time. And try not to get too stress about it. You already included her in some way. She will understand eventually.

Re: Sorry SWR but you guys always give good advice..

Is anyone else NOT in the BP going?

Re: Sorry SWR but you guys always give good advice..

Message edited 10/18/2005 1:30:50 PM.