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Leeners
:)
Member since 5/05 4898 total posts
Name:
Eileen
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Need Advice - weird friend situation
Ok, so growing up I always had way more guy friends than girls. That dwindled as we got older also as I've shifted from extremely outgoing to quite the opposite as I've gotten older.
Anyway, I still have one good guy friend left from those days. Nothing was ever more than platonic with us, he was just "Will". He's been living in china for the past 2 years but comes home fairly often, including for my wedding so we're in touch on and off. He's back for a while right now and I'm supposed to meet up with him and a few old HS friends for dinner tonight.
So, here's my weird issue. I just checked my email and apparently he sent me an electronic gift certificate (for my birthday) to Kiehl's... for $100  . We do NOT have that kind of relationship - we never did! Plus, his birthday was in September and I just sent him an ecard (which is what I thought was normal). I'm very uncomfortable with this, although I can't put my finger on exactly why. And, I feel weird telling DH. I mean, he knows the guy, comes out with us every time he's back from China, but how do you say "hey, some guy just gave your wife a $100 present for her birthday (which is still 2.5 weeks away!)".
Am I overreacting or is this weird? Help!!!
Message edited 10/26/2005 2:52:54 PM.
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Posted 10/26/05 2:51 PM  |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Need Advice - weird friend situation
Could it be a late wedding gift?
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| Posted 10/26/05 2:53 PM |
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Elbee
Zanzibar
Member since 5/05 10767 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Need Advice - weird friend situation
I think it's a little weird that he would just send a gift when that has never happened before ... can you ask him why he sent a gift now, when you have been friends with him for so long and it's never happened before?
He may have a simple explaination or he may tell you something you need to address (better to know than not know, right?)
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| Posted 10/26/05 2:53 PM |
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Leeners
:)
Member since 5/05 4898 total posts
Name:
Eileen
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Re: Need Advice - weird friend situation
Posted by dpli
Could it be a late wedding gift?
Nope, he gave us a generous gift at the wedding. It says (in the email) it's for my birthday.
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| Posted 10/26/05 2:54 PM |
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baghag
:P
Member since 5/05 10278 total posts
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Re: Need Advice - weird friend situation
I take it that $100 is not the norm for gifts for you guys? I would email back and jokingly ask if he won the lottery, feel it out from there.
ETA: I don't think you are overreacting, that does seem a little odd.
Message edited 10/26/2005 2:54:56 PM.
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| Posted 10/26/05 2:54 PM |
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Re: Need Advice - weird friend situation
Posted by baghag
I take it that $100 is not the norm for gifts for you guys? I would email back and jokingly ask if he won the lottery, feel it out from there.
Thats what I was going to suggest.
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| Posted 10/26/05 2:54 PM |
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Leeners
:)
Member since 5/05 4898 total posts
Name:
Eileen
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Re: Need Advice - weird friend situation
Posted by baghag
I take it that $100 is not the norm for gifts for you guys? I would email back and jokingly ask if he won the lottery, feel it out from there.
I actually already wrote back and said "OMG are you NUTS?!?!"
 might not have been the most tactful response but it wasn't until after I thought about it that I realized there may have been a reason to be tactful. But there can't be, there just can't - we've been friends for like 15 years and I'm MARRIED.
(yup, was just having an argument with myself).
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| Posted 10/26/05 2:55 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Need Advice - weird friend situation
Posted by baghag
I take it that $100 is not the norm for gifts for you guys? I would email back and jokingly ask if he won the lottery, feel it out from there.
ETA: I don't think you are overreacting, that does seem a little odd.
I would do the same thing...kind of bringing up the subject lightly.
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| Posted 10/26/05 2:56 PM |
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baghag
:P
Member since 5/05 10278 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need Advice - weird friend situation
Posted by Leeners
Posted by baghag
I take it that $100 is not the norm for gifts for you guys? I would email back and jokingly ask if he won the lottery, feel it out from there.
I actually already wrote back and said "OMG are you NUTS?!?!"
might not have been the most tactful response but it wasn't until after I thought about it that I realized there may have been a reason to be tactful. But there can't be, there just can't - we've been friends for like 15 years and I'm MARRIED.
(yup, was just having an argument with myself).
 after 15 years of friendship, you can toss out the tact and get straight to the point.
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| Posted 10/26/05 2:58 PM |
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Elbee
Zanzibar
Member since 5/05 10767 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Need Advice - weird friend situation
Posted by baghag
after 15 years of friendship, you can toss out the tact and get straight to the point.
I agree
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| Posted 10/26/05 2:59 PM |
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Re: Need Advice - weird friend situation
Posted by Leeners
Posted by baghag
I take it that $100 is not the norm for gifts for you guys? I would email back and jokingly ask if he won the lottery, feel it out from there.
I actually already wrote back and said "OMG are you NUTS?!?!"
might not have been the most tactful response but it wasn't until after I thought about it that I realized there may have been a reason to be tactful. But there can't be, there just can't - we've been friends for like 15 years and I'm MARRIED.
(yup, was just having an argument with myself).
Did he write back yet? Do you really think that he is trying to get romantic with you (I mean since you know him so well for so long)
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| Posted 10/26/05 2:59 PM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Need Advice - weird friend situation
Posted by missus-hbradio
Did he write back yet? Do you really think that he is trying to get romantic with you (I mean since you know him so well for so long)
I was thinking maybe the opposite - now that you are married, he can be generous and you won't get the wrong idea. I would probably just ask if he meant to send that much, since it is not the usual gift between you. If he says yes, just enjoy it.
Sometimes in life, I have been more generous than usual - got a raise, inherited some $, or just realized how much I appreciated the friend. I wouldn't read too much into it if you have been friends for that long.
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| Posted 10/26/05 3:04 PM |
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Kelly
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/05 681 total posts
Name:
This is it
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Re: Need Advice - weird friend situation
Posted by dpli
Sometimes in life, I have been more generous than usual - got a raise, inherited some $, or just realized how much I appreciated the friend. I wouldn't read too much into it if you have been friends for that long.
I agree with this. Besides, if he was trying to be romantic, would a gift certificate for $100 really be the way one would go?? Maybe...
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| Posted 10/26/05 3:05 PM |
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Leeners
:)
Member since 5/05 4898 total posts
Name:
Eileen
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Re: Need Advice - weird friend situation
Thank you all. We'll see. I don't know why this is making me soooo uncomfortable but it is but dpli hopefully you're right. He hasn't written back yet but I did send it to DH because I would never want him to think I was keeping secrets from him. I just put myself in his position and I know I'd be thinking how shady it was for one of his girl friends to send him a $100 bday gift. he thinks it's sort of odd too and "inappropriate for a married woman from a male friend".
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| Posted 10/26/05 3:08 PM |
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Leeners
:)
Member since 5/05 4898 total posts
Name:
Eileen
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Re: Need Advice - weird friend situation
Posted by Kelly
Posted by dpli
Sometimes in life, I have been more generous than usual - got a raise, inherited some $, or just realized how much I appreciated the friend. I wouldn't read too much into it if you have been friends for that long.
I agree with this. Besides, if he was trying to be romantic, would a gift certificate for $100 really be the way one would go?? Maybe...
I'm hoping that's not it. It never has been that way before and there's no reason for me (other than this weird incident) to think that it has changed. but i'm still really uncomfortable with this. To compound it, the other friend we're supposed to meet up with hasn't been in touch all day and now i'm nervous that it might just be the two of us 
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| Posted 10/26/05 3:10 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Need Advice - weird friend situation
I had a male coworker buy me a scarf and glove set that I wanted, was about 85.00. I did not think anything of it, but it drives DH crazy to this day. I was just saying how I needed to go to a jersey mall to see if they have it, since I can't find it, and BAM-he shows up with it the next day. I thought it was just really nice.
I would take it and say thanks...maybe it made him feel good to do it?
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| Posted 10/26/05 3:13 PM |
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Kelly
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/05 681 total posts
Name:
This is it
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Re: Need Advice - weird friend situation
Posted by Leeners
I'm hoping that's not it. It never has been that way before and there's no reason for me (other than this weird incident) to think that it has changed. but i'm still really uncomfortable with this. To compound it, the other friend we're supposed to meet up with hasn't been in touch all day and now i'm nervous that it might just be the two of us
Then put it out there. No sense in keeping it in and worrying about it and feeling awkward.
There's probably a simple reason behind it. And if not, then like someone said, it's better to know.
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| Posted 10/26/05 3:14 PM |
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