OMG my firend is dating a "Mr. Big" need advice

sorry long:
anyway my friend has been seeing a guy (and sleeping with) for about 4 months, she cares about him alot and feels that she is falling in love with him, but this guy always tells her he doesnt want to be in a relationship because of the "drama" that comes with it, he inisists that he isnt seeing anyone else, and spends alot of time with her, but he will also pick up and leave for the weekend with friends, and he tells her he really likes her and cares about her, i feel he is dangling her along, but she doesnt know what to do cause she likes him so much, shes afraid to tell him how she really feels because she thinks she will scare him away, any advice

Re: OMG my firend is dating a "Mr. Big" need advice

Heres my take on it.

If you can't tell the person you are sleeping with how you feel because you are afraid you will scare him away. then the relationship is not right.

Falling in love with the guy are seeing is supposed to be a good thing, right? So if she is scared (and if she has a reason tobe), then its not the right relationship for her.

If she wants to get married, clearly this is not the guy for her. ANyone who refers to relationship after 4 month as drama is not ready to get married.

Re: OMG my firend is dating a "Mr. Big" need advice

It's a tough situation. But the fact of the matter is, as long as he's telling her that he's not looking to be in a relationship with her, then he's not doing anything "wrong." I can understand your friend not wanting to scare him off, but if she's really falling for him then she needs to be honest. Better to know where she stands now before she gets any more emotionally involved with this man.

Re: OMG my firend is dating a "Mr. Big" need advice

hmmm, I am not sure if he is dangling her, since he has been pretty forthcoming with his intentions. I feel badly that your friend has developed feelings for him. Maybe she should try to cool things down? I think it is hard b/c they tell each other they care, but I am not sure if care = love....

I hope your friend finds the right someone!

Re: OMG my firend is dating a "Mr. Big" need advice

Re: OMG my firend is dating a "Mr. Big" need advice

Posted by MsMBV

hmmm, I am not sure if he is dangling her, since he has been pretty forthcoming with his intentions. I feel badly that your friend has developed feelings for him. Maybe she should try to cool things down? I think it is hard b/c they tell each other they care, but I am not sure if care = love....

I hope your friend finds the right someone!

Re: OMG my firend is dating a "Mr. Big" need advice

im sure he likes her but hes probably not ready to commit

shes keeping it really easy for him
by always being around for him and always being his date or lover if needed

sounds like an upgraded eff buddy to me.

she should tell him what shes looking for. he will tell her he doesnt want a commitment, then she will end it, then she will keep going back for sex and then it will be a cycle of that.

i think the best advice should be for her to end it because i think he will hurt her

Re: OMG my firend is dating a "Mr. Big" need advice

Oooh....I dated someone like this and I got burned. To his credit, just like my ex, she knew his intentions from the start. And hey....it all works out in the end!! She'll meet a wonderful guy but perhaps she should try and end it with this one. He'll probably come chasing after her, though, when he sees she doesn't need him. (and she should still stick to her guns!)

Re: OMG my firend is dating a "Mr. Big" need advice

Posted by cat1977

Posted by MsMBV

hmmm, I am not sure if he is dangling her, since he has been pretty forthcoming with his intentions. I feel badly that your friend has developed feelings for him. Maybe she should try to cool things down? I think it is hard b/c they tell each other they care, but I am not sure if care = love....

I hope your friend finds the right someone!

i agree, i tell her that he is in the best situation sleeping with someone and telling them that they dont want a relationship right now, unfortunately when i speak to her its like talking to a wall because she likes him so much, i guess all my talking wont work and she will have to figure it out on her own, thanks ladies

Re: OMG my firend is dating a "Mr. Big" need advice

I think if she wants to be in a serious relationship then she needs to him how she feels. If he's not into it, then she definitely needs to reconsider her relationship with him. I do feel bad for her because it's tough when you really care for someone, but she needs to do what's in her best interest. He is absolutely not wrong for his behavior, since he is quite upfront about it, but just because she cares about him doesn't mean he's the right one. From the immortal words of Bonnie Rait, sometimes love just ain't enough.

Re: OMG my firend is dating a "Mr. Big" need advice

I was here...and stopped seeing the guy. He came back and then a week or so later I realized he really wasnt for me. Things happen for a reason.

Good luckto your friend...I am looking for it to be easier than that....and won't settle for less than someone knowing they want to be with me and being excited and happy about it!

Re: OMG my firend is dating a "Mr. Big" need advice

Sounds like they aren't on the same page. She needs to figure it out for herself. She will get hurt and you know that. All you can do is be there for her when she figures it out.

eta: Oh, and she can't change him even though she thinks so.

Message edited 10/4/2006 1:38:40 PM.

Re: OMG my firend is dating a "Mr. Big" need advice