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MABLE03
I <3 SATC
Member since 6/06 4563 total posts
Name:
Fabulous
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Wasn't sure where I should post this.. Need advice
We have a little girl down the block from us. She is Mentally handicapped. From what I have learned her mother did drugs while she was pregnant with her and then took off leaving her with her very elderly grandfather. She is 11 years old now and I feel the grandfather is too old to take care of her. Not long ago she crossed the street unsupervised and was hit by a car ( luckily she was OK. She went to the hospital to be checked out and was released)
She wears shorts and tshirts outside in the winter and long pants and snow boots in the summer. She is also allowed to wander around with no shirt or bra in the summer ( and she is already developed somewhat) - and she walks around outside with no socks and shoes
Yesterday she was playing in front of my house and another little girl rang my bell to tell me that she had urinated on herself and left a big puddle in front of the house. I took her home to get changed and then washed off my sidewalk. If the other little girl had not rung my bell or I had not physically brought her home she would have stayed sitting in the urine for who knows how long.
I am so upset over this and can not stop thinking about this poor little girl, but what can I do about it? Is there someone I can call? I don't want to get the grandfather in trouble b/c he is a very nice man he is just too old to take care of her.
Message edited 6/14/2006 1:11:01 PM.
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Posted 6/14/06 12:57 PM  |
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tray831
Dee-licious!
Member since 3/06 5355 total posts
Name:
His Baby
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Re: Wasn't sure where I should post this.. Need advice
At 11 years old........that is sooooooooooo SAD 
I dont have any advice for you...sorry....but how sad is it that this poor girl has noone. Yeah, you DEF. dont want to get the grandfather in trouble.
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| Posted 6/14/06 1:00 PM |
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Jax430
Hi!
Member since 5/05 18919 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: Wasn't sure where I should post this.. Need advice
If you believe that there is inadequate guardianship, you should call the NYS registry at 1-800-342-3720 so that child protective services can investigate. Whoever takes your call will decide whether it needs to be investigated and once it is, depending on what it found, she may be removed from his care, but more likely, they will try to put services in place to provide support and keep her in the home. I know you don't want to get the grandfather in trouble, but it sounds like he really needs support in raising her.
Message edited 6/14/2006 1:02:46 PM.
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| Posted 6/14/06 1:01 PM |
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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: Wasn't sure where I should post this.. Need advice
this is so sad to hear.....I would maybe speak to the grandfather first and see if he has anyone who can help, or if he has the finances to maybe hire a nanny or someone who can provide some support for this girl.....
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| Posted 6/14/06 1:30 PM |
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lorich
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Member since 6/05 9987 total posts
Name:
Grammie says "Lora Gina"
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Re: Wasn't sure where I should post this.. Need advice
Unfortunatley I do not have any advice either. This is just so sad to hear.
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| Posted 6/14/06 1:37 PM |
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Laura1976
Member since 5/05 5754 total posts
Name:
Laura
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Re: Wasn't sure where I should post this.. Need advice
Posted by curliegirl
this is so sad to hear.....I would maybe speak to the grandfather first and see if he has anyone who can help, or if he has the finances to maybe hire a nanny or someone who can provide some support for this girl.....
before goign to social services, definitely talk to the grandmother. She could probably qualify for some kind of assistance. Once it is in the Child Protective Services hands, she could lose her.
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| Posted 6/14/06 1:44 PM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wasn't sure where I should post this.. Need advice
Posted by Jax430
If you believe that there is inadequate guardianship, you should call the NYS registry at 1-800-342-3720 so that child protective services can investigate. Whoever takes your call will decide whether it needs to be investigated and once it is, depending on what it found, she may be removed from his care, but more likely, they will try to put services in place to provide support and keep her in the home. I know you don't want to get the grandfather in trouble, but it sounds like he really needs support in raising her.
This is basically what I was going to suggest. The family may also have services in place and the worker just isn't aware of what is going on. I really think you need to call and do something. This poor child is open to whoever wants to pray on her and far worse things could happen.
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| Posted 6/14/06 1:51 PM |
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jeanlaS
LIF Infant
Member since 11/05 175 total posts
Name:
Jean
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Re: Wasn't sure where I should post this.. Need advice
Posted by shamrock12472
Posted by Jax430
If you believe that there is inadequate guardianship, you should call the NYS registry at 1-800-342-3720 so that child protective services can investigate. Whoever takes your call will decide whether it needs to be investigated and once it is, depending on what it found, she may be removed from his care, but more likely, they will try to put services in place to provide support and keep her in the home. I know you don't want to get the grandfather in trouble, but it sounds like he really needs support in raising her.
This is basically what I was going to suggest. The family may also have services in place and the worker just isn't aware of what is going on. I really think you need to call and do something. This poor child is open to whoever wants to pray on her and far worse things could happen.
WHat I was thinking as well.
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| Posted 6/14/06 2:00 PM |
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MABLE03
I <3 SATC
Member since 6/06 4563 total posts
Name:
Fabulous
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Re: Wasn't sure where I should post this.. Need advice
I also wanted to add that I am not sure if she attends school or not. She seems to be home/outside playing all day everyday but I could be wrong.
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| Posted 6/14/06 2:10 PM |
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Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wasn't sure where I should post this.. Need advice
Posted by jeanlaS
Posted by shamrock12472
Posted by Jax430
If you believe that there is inadequate guardianship, you should call the NYS registry at 1-800-342-3720 so that child protective services can investigate. Whoever takes your call will decide whether it needs to be investigated and once it is, depending on what it found, she may be removed from his care, but more likely, they will try to put services in place to provide support and keep her in the home. I know you don't want to get the grandfather in trouble, but it sounds like he really needs support in raising her.
This is basically what I was going to suggest. The family may also have services in place and the worker just isn't aware of what is going on. I really think you need to call and do something. This poor child is open to whoever wants to pray on her and far worse things could happen.
WHat I was thinking as well.
I agree with this as well.
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| Posted 6/14/06 2:11 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wasn't sure where I should post this.. Need advice
Posted by jeanlaS
Posted by shamrock12472
Posted by Jax430
If you believe that there is inadequate guardianship, you should call the NYS registry at 1-800-342-3720 so that child protective services can investigate. Whoever takes your call will decide whether it needs to be investigated and once it is, depending on what it found, she may be removed from his care, but more likely, they will try to put services in place to provide support and keep her in the home. I know you don't want to get the grandfather in trouble, but it sounds like he really needs support in raising her.
This is basically what I was going to suggest. The family may also have services in place and the worker just isn't aware of what is going on. I really think you need to call and do something. This poor child is open to whoever wants to pray on her and far worse things could happen.
WHat I was thinking as well.
Me too. As someone who worked with developmentally disabled women - it was heartbreaking to hear the ob/gyn had reported that all but one was "in tact".
I would opt for calling over talking to the grandfather. If you talk to him & he does nothing, then he knows you called. It's all confidential.
You are a good soul to be so caring. I can only imagine how hard it is to call but how relived you'll be to hear she's safe.
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| Posted 6/14/06 2:12 PM |
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MABLE03
I <3 SATC
Member since 6/06 4563 total posts
Name:
Fabulous
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Re: Wasn't sure where I should post this.. Need advice
Thank you so much
That was my next question if it was confidential - of course the child's safety comes first but we plan on living here for awhile and the grandfather will be my neighbor for a long time as he has lived on this block forever.
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| Posted 6/14/06 2:15 PM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wasn't sure where I should post this.. Need advice
A lot of times, even though CPS is called out to a house, the child isn't removed from the home. However, the CPS worker can help get other services in the home. Is the child getting SSI? If not, then they can refer him to the right people who will help, etc.
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| Posted 6/14/06 2:18 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wasn't sure where I should post this.. Need advice
You could actually help the household if she hasn't formally qualified for Social Security Income. She may remain in the home and she could get day services to go to school. They would pick her up & drop her off daily.
Child Protective Services will determine if her grandfather is able to take care of her. If not, it'll be in her best interests to find a setting for her. Remember the state is geared more towards group home settings. Long Island has very good resources (ACLD, AHRC, etc).
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| Posted 6/14/06 2:26 PM |
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MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Wasn't sure where I should post this.. Need advice
If you decide to speak with the grandparents (which I would do first) sugegest please that they contact SSI to make sure she gets benefits available to her and also encourage them to contact AHRC. They are incredibly helpful. If the child is of a school age and is not attending school there is a HUGE problem there. Almost every county on LI and most of the boroughs have a BOCES program or a SpEd program. All children are legally required to attend school or to have comparable home-schooling, which would be tested on a regular basis.
I cannot imagine after she had been hit by a car that it would not set a red flag up for someone. How did the grandparents explain to the doctors that she was in a position to be hit by a car if it were not negligence? Something does sound off here.
Having a brother who is disabled, I do understand that sometimes the process of getting assistance is time-consuming and very often is frustrating, but it is necessary to ensure the safety of the child.
 to you for taking the initiative to care.
I hope it all turns out well for her.
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| Posted 6/14/06 2:28 PM |
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Susan
Loving Mommyhood!
Member since 5/05 2391 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Wasn't sure where I should post this.. Need advice
I suggest speaking to the grandparents. I work for an agency that was mentioned above and would be happy to send you literature that you can provide to them. They can contact us or another related agency for assistance. If the problem persists for a few more weeks, involve CPS. I'd hate to have the grandparents lose guardianship but maybe that's what they need. They might not know what types of resources are out there. They probably are aware of their inability to care for her to the best of their abilities too. Very sad. Good Luck!
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| Posted 6/14/06 2:41 PM |
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pmpkn087
Life is good...
Member since 9/05 18504 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Wasn't sure where I should post this.. Need advice
This is so sad.
Sorry no advice.
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| Posted 6/14/06 2:45 PM |
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GenLCSW
Baby # 3 is here!!!
Member since 7/05 21138 total posts
Name:
Genna
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Re: Wasn't sure where I should post this.. Need advice
Posted by Susan
I suggest speaking to the grandparents. I work for an agency that was mentioned above and would be happy to send you literature that you can provide to them. They can contact us or another related agency for assistance. If the problem persists for a few more weeks, involve CPS. I'd hate to have the grandparents lose guardianship but maybe that's what they need. They might not know what types of resources are out there. They probably are aware of their inability to care for her to the best of their abilities too. Very sad. Good Luck!
I agree.. CPS should eventually be involved. Its so sad 
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| Posted 6/14/06 3:48 PM |
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luvsbob4603
To a healthy 2013
Member since 5/05 21840 total posts
Name:
To a brand new year to a healthier me
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Re: Wasn't sure where I should post this.. Need advice
I pray that this little girl gets the help she needs I am sorry i dont have any advice either Just hugs and prayers. 
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| Posted 6/14/06 4:13 PM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: Wasn't sure where I should post this.. Need advice
No advice, but, so sad
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| Posted 6/14/06 4:20 PM |
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dandj
Love of my life....
Member since 5/05 3687 total posts
Name:
Denise
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Re: Wasn't sure where I should post this.. Need advice
She must attend some type of BOCES school... if you do speak to the grandparents encourage them to call the social worker at school who might be able to point them in the right direction.
Not only can the qualify for SSI but there are respite programs, in home programs, camp programs that she can get enrolled in to also give them a break and some assistance.
CPS can also be called for preventative services not only in an emergency.
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| Posted 6/14/06 4:50 PM |
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kms717
St Philomena Protect My Son
Member since 2/06 2747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Wasn't sure where I should post this.. Need advice
Wow, I'm sorry, but the only advise I have is to call CPS. I'd hate to see the grandfather get in trouble, but what about the little girl? Have you tried leaving a letter for the grandfather?
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| Posted 6/14/06 6:15 PM |
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Jenziba
?
Member since 5/05 6265 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Wasn't sure where I should post this.. Need advice
I think I would call first before speaking to the grandfather. I know you stated that he was a nice man...but, you don't know how he will react when you "interfere"...and I know you're looking out for the girls best interest...but, he may not see it that way.
If you are really concered for her, I say call that # that someone posted...if it is confidential.
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| Posted 6/14/06 6:38 PM |
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MABLE03
I <3 SATC
Member since 6/06 4563 total posts
Name:
Fabulous
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Re: Wasn't sure where I should post this.. Need advice
Thanks everyone for your advice. This has me so upset that I am loosing sleep and watching her from my window all day to make sure she is ok. I even keep extra shirts around so if I see her walking around topless I can cover her up. I will be calling the number that was posted today. I decided against talking to the grandfather first. I know he sees what is going on... and I think other people on the block have said something to him. Once I talk to him he will know it is me who called.
Message edited 6/14/2006 6:43:23 PM.
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| Posted 6/14/06 6:41 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Wasn't sure where I should post this.. Need advice
Posted by Laura1976
Posted by curliegirl
this is so sad to hear.....I would maybe speak to the grandfather first and see if he has anyone who can help, or if he has the finances to maybe hire a nanny or someone who can provide some support for this girl.....
before goign to social services, definitely talk to the grandmother. She could probably qualify for some kind of assistance. Once it is in the Child Protective Services hands, she could lose her.
couldn't agree more...
people don't realize the hell they put some of these children in by calling CPS and making htem step in...
it is a sad life...and i wouldn't call unless i took other steps
Talk to the grandfather....
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| Posted 6/14/06 7:29 PM |
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