Family Related Question..Kinda

If and when you are involved in any type of bickering w/ a family member or sibling...do you think it's fair to get the kids involved??

I know that when many people fight with each other, they coach their kids into NOT speaking to the other person.

Any thoughts on this? Is it fair or not fair?

Re: Family Related Question..Kinda

I know over the years my mom had disagreements with her siblings, but she never discussed the details with us and didn't forbid us from talking to them. Whatever happened between them, she wanted us to have a relationship with them.

But, this is just for bickering. I am sure if they ever did anything seriously wrong, she might have cut us off from them to protect us.

I am very close to my nieces and nephews, particularly the 2 that have no grandparents. If that sibling didn't let them talk to me for some reason, the children would probably be more hurt by that than me.

Message edited 5/11/2006 2:51:10 PM.

Re: Family Related Question..Kinda

Re: Family Related Question..Kinda

My sister used to do this with me and I HATED every second of it. I helped raise my god-daughter and my sister used her against me at times. While it was never for a reason other than my sis had some kind of bug up her azz, the pain it caused me was horrible. Which was the reason she was doing it. It never occured to her that she was also hurting her own daughter who looked at me as a second mother. She just got off on the satisfaction of hurting me. She has done this to others as well - not just me.

However, if the kids are older or the person you are talking about is dangerous in any way, that would be a completely different story

Re: Family Related Question..Kinda

Posted by dooodles

My sister used to do this with me and I HATED every second of it. I helped raise my god-daughter and my sister used her against me at times. While it was never for a reason other than my sis had some kind of bug up her azz, the pain it caused me was horrible. Which was the reason she was doing it. It never occured to her that she was also hurting her own daughter who looked at me as a second mother. She just got off on the satisfaction of hurting me. She has done this to others as well - not just me.





My mom was in the same boat when my cousin was about 3. My aunt forbade my mom from seeing my cousin. My mom suffered so much and it was painful to see her cry so much. I always thought it was so unfair. Funny thing is now they speak, but all along my little cousin never fort how much my mom loved her.

Message edited 5/11/2006 2:55:54 PM.

Re: Family Related Question..Kinda

I'm having a problem now. I would love to say to leave the kids out of it,but sometimes that's not feasible.

I'm having a disagreement with my sister & BIL and am at a loss as to how to handle my daughter's 3rd birthday. They are not welcome at my house, but I would welcome my niece & nephew.

I don't badmouth any family members to my kids. While I would not forbid my kids from talking to my sister & BIL, I would not let them go to any family party at her house. I consider it a safety issue (with some relatives we don't want to around our kids), particularly because we would not be invited to be able to supervise them.

Re: Family Related Question..Kinda