Childcare vs SAHM P/T dilemma...would like input

DH and I are not 100% happy with our childcare situation right now. Don't get me wrong... it's definitely good - he's with family, he's safe, he's close (enough), it's very cheap etc.

DH is telling me that he wants me to work part-time instead of full-time. My job would allow it but I would lose my permanency. Meaning that once I go part time, there is no guarantee that they will ever give me back full-time status because they would have to hire someone else to share my job.

As for how it would affect my career...well, I'm sort of at a glass ceiling right now. Basically there's slim to zero chance of a promotion anytime in the near future as I am at the top of my line at the moment. I feel like I would lose some "credibility" in my department... especially since I work with all men...it's been hard to get it and keep it in the first place. I don't plan on going anywhere else for a long time (super cushy state job).

Anyway...financially things would be tight...probably more tight than we are figuring at the moment. We could make up alot of that by renting an apt in our house if necessary though we'd probably try to make it without a rental. That makes me uncomfortable. Also, the only way I get part time is 5 days a week, half days. So I STILL need childcare for a few hours 5 days a week.

On the one hand I feel kind of silly because I'm not jumping at the chance to stay home with my baby part time (though I certainly want to). But since it would only be temporary (3 years or so) I also feel like is it really necessary? Should we just find different child care or are we going to feel this way about anybody/place we use.

This is such a hard decision to make... it's a big sacrifice... I'm so torn.

I don't even know really what I'm asking here... advice, input, words of wisdom to help me make this decision??? What would you do? Does everyone here feel that if you have the opportunity to be a SAHM (full time or part time) that you should take it?

Sorry so long...

Re: Childcare vs SAHM P/T dilemma...would like input

I know how you feel because I had to make this choice when Marissa was a baby. I stayed home 4 months and I love, love, love her but I just could not take being home anymore. I have worked for so long, that it's what I know. She was in great hands w/ an awesome sitter and even though I missed her, I was happy with the choice. My aunt has been home for almost 2 years w/ her daughter and she is going through a tough time now. They are fine financially but she can not take being home anymore. She has been fighting w/ her DH because he does not want her to go back to work full time and this is that her daughter is 11.

I feel no one can tell what is right or wrong. If you choose to stay then so be it, but let it be because you feel it's right. Not over guilt or guilt trips from anyone. It should be because you know in your heart it's what is right for you & your family. Good luck w/ whatever choice you decide to make.

Re: Childcare vs SAHM P/T dilemma...would like input

the only reason i would say that you should look for different childcare is because you'd still be working 5 days a week regardless

it's not like part time would mean entire days home for you

Re: Childcare vs SAHM P/T dilemma...would like input

Re: Childcare vs SAHM P/T dilemma...would like input

Re: Childcare vs SAHM P/T dilemma...would like input

There is no right or wrong answer. It is entirely dependend on what you and your DH want, need and can afford. I think that there are always added expenses when you figuring out a budget. I also think the fact that you will still need day care 5 days a week is something that should be considered.

Good luck. You will make the right choice.

Re: Childcare vs SAHM P/T dilemma...would like input

If it were me, I'd first try a different child care situation. I'm not sure what you don't like about your current situation, but it's worth a shot - especially because you can't go back to f/t once you've made that decision to work p/t. If in the end you decide you really aren't happy with having your son in childcare, then consider it. While no one completely meets my standards of caring for my kids, they've learned to deal with different people in different ways (and manipulate the best of the best...)

While I've liked most of the jobs I've had, not everyone does. There are different degrees of flexibility. If you have flexibility and a cushy job that you like, I'd stay full time.

I don't think being a SAHM is for everyone, nor do I think being a working mom by choice makes you a bad mom or that you love your son any less.

Re: Childcare vs SAHM P/T dilemma...would like input

That's tough Sandra. . I think it depends on what you don't like about your childcare situation. It could be that you would have this problem with any situation, but you are still going to need some kind fo daycare.

I think I'd be leaning towards the part-time thing, but I might be biased since I don't like my job.

I think you have to willing to accept , though that if you decide to go back full time, you may need to look elsewhere.

Re: Childcare vs SAHM P/T dilemma...would like input

Message edited 12/20/2011 6:04:32 PM.

Re: Childcare vs SAHM P/T dilemma...would like input

thats tough, my personal opinion on ur situation, is try different childcare. bc with p/t its not like u'll be home all day part time... just afternoons free really or vice versa.
try diff care and then if it doesnt work out look into the pt option

good luck!

Re: Childcare vs SAHM P/T dilemma...would like input

if you have a vacant apartment, I would consider getting a live-in or an au pair. This way you have someone in your home, you will pay less out of pocket and wont have to struggle or compromise your future. JMO.

Re: Childcare vs SAHM P/T dilemma...would like input

Also 1/2 days might as well be full days. By the time you get home he'll be napping.


And I want to add, I work F/T and my son is the most affectionate child. There is no question that he feels loved and wanted.

Message edited 2/10/2006 8:11:17 PM.

Re: Childcare vs SAHM P/T dilemma...would like input

hmmmmmmm that is hard

Honestly, i think i would stay with my current situation, full time.
But that is a hard one Sandra because a part of me, a big part would like to do the part time situation....

Re: Childcare vs SAHM P/T dilemma...would like input

I would also stay FT BUT my main thought/question is...Is the person whose watching your child now a close family member? Like a mother/in law? Would they be offended when you tell them you are finding someone else? Thats another whole issue in itself. If it works to switch childcare...I would do it. Unless of course you want to stay at home.

Re: Childcare vs SAHM P/T dilemma...would like input