My poor DH... (sex, TMI)

I have absolutely no desire to do anything sexually. Not even kiss. My sex drive is nonexistent. My DH and I have hardly done anything since I got PG. At first it was because I was afraid of bleeding, then I was bleeding and I haven't been aloud to do anything sexually. Well, I can take care of him, but again I have absolutely no desire to. I know I can do things just to please him, but it feels like a chore when I do, and I don't like that! It's not that I don't want him, because I do, it's just that I'm not in the mood or I'm tired. I've tried lingerie and stuff, but that's only for the moment. I want to be able to get back to at least "wanting" to kiss and stuff. I just could care less about do anything right now. I just feel bad for my DH because I know he feels like I don't "want" him anymore, that I'm not attracted to him. It's not that at all. I'm just as attracted to him and love him as I always have been. I just don't show him I guess. Any ideas? I think it's also a turnoff for me also when all he talks about is "getting some". To me there are other ways to be intimate with each other than sexual things. Maybe if he'd be romantic other ways I'd be more for the sexual things. I don't know... I'm lost!

ETA: After chasing a 2 yr old until late at night, doesn't exactly put me in the mood either!

Message edited 4/19/2006 4:42:42 PM.

Re: My poor DH... (sex, TMI)

I understand...I actually posted something like this last week. I have absolutely no desire for sex...I am nauseous and tired ALL of the time. DH says stuff too but I remind him that he is not feeling cr*ppy all of the time and he is not going to be carring around another human being in his body. Its hard right now for any romance...no nice dinners because I cant be around food and I also feel too tired for it. I know how you feel

Re: My poor DH... (sex, TMI)

Posted by GenLCSW

I understand...I actually posted something like this last week. I have absolutely no desire for sex...I am nauseous and tired ALL of the time. DH says stuff too but I remind him that he is not feeling cr*ppy all of the time and he is not going to be carring around another human being in his body. Its hard right now for any romance...no nice dinners because I cant be around food and I also feel too tired for it. I know how you feel

Re: My poor DH... (sex, TMI)

I feel almost the same as you! Now I can't have s e x until at least next week. And, I don't even want to. DH is being good about it though.

Re: My poor DH... (sex, TMI)

Same for us, chasing around another little one definatley doesn't help. I'm exhausted when she goes to bed. I'm sitting here thinking "I need to go to bed" but am too lazy to get up and walk upstairs.

Luckily, DH works really long hours at a stressful job, so when he gets home he's not in the mood either.

I'm hoping that after the baby's born things will get more normal, but I'm scared that caring for 2 little ones all day will still make me super tired.

Re: My poor DH... (sex, TMI)

Its totally normal what you are feeling.. although for me it was the other way around, I wanted sex the whole 9 months and my DH stopped giving it up around 4 months PG... It's so hard, sometimes feelings do get hurt, but if you just explain to him that your hormones are raging hopefully he can understand. Maybe let him read a chapter on it in one of the pregnancy books so he knows that its just not YOU!! Good luck!

Re: My poor DH... (sex, TMI)

You are very normal. Sometimes communication is the key to these things. Maybe go out on a date night. Scott told me during the medical problems I had after Molly was born that sometimes we just need find new ways to deal with sexual issues in a relationship. I had physical pain because of the scar tissue issues and sex was not really an option due to that pain. But we kept talking, kept discussing it and that really helped.

Re: My poor DH... (sex, TMI)

You are not alone. This is how I felt (and often still do) -- without having the toddler running around. When I told DH that I didn't have much "drive" or "desire" he got really hurt. I found that if we got the ball rolling with kissing, that sometimes it helped get me in the mood.