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CaidensMommy
My 3 Miracles!
Member since 5/05 5777 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Ladies... I'm having another emotional day!
I am just fed up with my DH lately!!! We have soooooooooo much stuff to do before the baby comes and he's hardly done anything to help! I'm tired of being nice, I'm tired of bit@hing at him... nothing seems to work.
I've been asking him to clean out the room where the baby will be staying and he still hasn't done it. It's been months! I can't do it because it's mostly big crap of his. It just makes me feel like he doesn't care.  My Dh only seems to want to play his XBox 360 every night, and he stays up to like 4:00am, and then sleeps until he has to go to work. Well, he only stays up that late on the weekends, but this weekend he didn't have to be at work until 2:00pm. Ok... why wouldn't you get up fairly early and get something done or spend time with his family? No... he stays in bed until he goes to work. Is it my fault he stays up that late to play video games? He's just not putting in any effort and it's REALLY upsetting me! I don't know what else to do??? I kind of went off on him this morning, I didn't want to but I couldn't help it. It's so upsetting to see how other DH's are with their responsibilities and families. How they help out and do things around the house. My DH doesn't do much of anything. He's always been like this, but I thought he'd be different when Caiden came and we bought a house. There are things that need to get done, I just don't understand why it's like pulling teeth to get him to do anything? I'm so depressed today. What's funny is that when he comes home and sees me painting or doing something he says, why are you doing that, you shouldn't be doing that! Well, when you don't do it, someone has to?  How can I make him see how he's being? We've been getting along just fine, but when it comes to doing responsibilities he procrastinates and it never gets done. Sorry... just needed to vent!
Message edited 8/6/2006 3:04:47 PM.
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Posted 8/6/06 3:04 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Laura1976
Member since 5/05 5754 total posts
Name:
Laura
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Re: Ladies... I'm having another emotional day!
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| Posted 8/6/06 3:11 PM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: Ladies... I'm having another emotional day!
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| Posted 8/6/06 3:13 PM |
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Crismicka
How did I get so lucky
Member since 5/05 3725 total posts
Name:
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Re: Ladies... I'm having another emotional day!
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| Posted 8/6/06 3:52 PM |
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megsmom
#2 on the way!
Member since 5/05 1723 total posts
Name:
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Re: Ladies... I'm having another emotional day!
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| Posted 8/6/06 4:03 PM |
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angelbear217
Mommy of 2
Member since 5/05 4313 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Ladies... I'm having another emotional day!
I know how it is, my DH is a procrastinator too. It drives me nuts!
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| Posted 8/6/06 4:32 PM |
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SuzyQ
Mama to 3!?!?!?
Member since 7/06 8069 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Ladies... I'm having another emotional day!
I'm sorry. I have no advice, but here are some:
Message edited 8/6/2006 7:06:16 PM.
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| Posted 8/6/06 7:05 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Ladies... I'm having another emotional day!
 that is tough. That Xbox would have been flung out of a window. The thought I had is silly, but sounds fun. Hide the controllers and give it back after room is cleaned out.
Try not to compare other situations to yours. I don't want you to feel down...I would really talk to him.
good luck.
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| Posted 8/6/06 7:09 PM |
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ddunne2
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 4189 total posts
Name:
Doreen
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Re: Ladies... I'm having another emotional day!
What if you wrote him a letter so you don't have to feel like you are bitching at him, yet you will be able to tell him how hurtful it is to you that he doesn't help with anything. That way, he can read it, mull it over and maybe it will sink in a little more.
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| Posted 8/6/06 8:33 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Ladies... I'm having another emotional day!
Posted by ddunne2
What if you wrote him a letter so you don't have to feel like you are bitching at him, yet you will be able to tell him how hurtful it is to you that he doesn't help with anything. That way, he can read it, mull it over and maybe it will sink in a little more.
great idea!
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| Posted 8/6/06 8:36 PM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Ladies... I'm having another emotional day!
Posted by Janice
Try not to compare other situations to yours. I don't want you to feel down...I would really talk to him.
good luck.
I agree. People are less likely to write the yucky stuff, but that doesnt mean that it doesnt happen. we don't all have knights in shining armour. Really! 
I'm sorry you're going through this! when i'm that upset, and i talk to DH about it, i usually start every sentence with "I feel like......" because its less accusational/confrontational that "you make me feel....." For some reason, the slight play on words makes a big difference in getting through to my DH, b/c he's less likely to automatically jump on the defense.
good luck
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| Posted 8/6/06 8:44 PM |
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Sassyz75
Turning a new page
Member since 5/05 9731 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Ladies... I'm having another emotional day!
I'm sorry you are having a hard time
sometimes I think men act this way when they have something on their minds but don't know how to communicate it... maybe you both can sit down together and have a date night- maybe talk about a few things outside of the home in a nice environment?
good luck!
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| Posted 8/6/06 9:04 PM |
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Buckles
LIF Zygote
Member since 7/06 19 total posts
Name:
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Re: Ladies... I'm having another emotional day!
I'll tell you what I do with my DH that seems to work. He is HUGE into MMORPG and has been for about 1.5 years now. I started to feel like you ages ago (esp when trying to plan wedding and post wedding things). We have sat down and had a very short, easy going discussion about how I can get him to do things when needed, and he can still play his game. What we came up with is if I need him to do something I send him an email earlier in the week to let him know that I need him to do X by X date and sometimes why it needs to be done by then. 99.9% of the time it gets done b/c he knows what I need of him AND he can bidget his own time around it vs me nagging him. Sometimes as the time gets closer (men can be forgetful) I will just remind him but very casually.
Maybe that will work for you two. Good luck!
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| Posted 8/7/06 4:44 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Ladies... I'm having another emotional day!
I'm sorry you're so frustrated.
If it makes you feel any better at all, my DH is far from perfect too. 
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| Posted 8/7/06 4:48 PM |
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sweetpea
xoxo
Member since 7/06 2467 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Ladies... I'm having another emotional day!
Posted by Janice
that is tough. That Xbox would have been flung out of a window. The thought I had is silly, but sounds fun. Hide the controllers and give it back after room is cleaned out.
good luck.
i would seriously do that...
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| Posted 8/7/06 4:49 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Ladies... I'm having another emotional day!
Posted by ddunne2
What if you wrote him a letter so you don't have to feel like you are bitching at him, yet you will be able to tell him how hurtful it is to you that he doesn't help with anything. That way, he can read it, mull it over and maybe it will sink in a little more.
I tend to writer letters when I am upset, it helps me as well
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| Posted 8/7/06 4:53 PM |
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wowcoulditbe
wow, pic is already 1 yr old!!
Member since 1/06 6689 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Ladies... I'm having another emotional day!
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| Posted 8/7/06 5:51 PM |
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CaidensMommy
My 3 Miracles!
Member since 5/05 5777 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Ladies... I'm having another emotional day!
Thanks so much girls for all your suggestions. I will try them. Hopefully something will work.
The only one that I know will not work would be hiding his controllers because he would be soooo angry and he would just go out and buy new one's!
Thanks again for all your help!!! Let's see what works!
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| Posted 8/8/06 8:46 AM |
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pmpkn087
Life is good...
Member since 9/05 18504 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Ladies... I'm having another emotional day!
oh Melissa. .
I'm sorry he's giving you a hard time. I found that the most affective way to get things done is to nag, nag, nag, and continue nagging until he is sick of hearing you and just does it.
When he sits down for his 360 session, tell him "you know, you could be cleaning out the room right now." then, he'll use the excuse "can't I relax after work." or somthing like that. That's when you say "you can relax when you're finished with the room."
Can you tell I know the story all too well. Thankfully, DH has been pretty good, which I never expected.
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| Posted 8/8/06 12:04 PM |
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CouponKT
Our family is complete
Member since 6/06 16494 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Ladies... I'm having another emotional day!
Tell him you have hired a cleaning company to get that room done. Give him a ridiculous price and let him know you are done asking for his help and hired someone. Maybe that will help get his butt in gear...
Good luck to you though - this is not the time for you to be aggrivated.
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| Posted 8/8/06 2:19 PM |
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michele31
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3372 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: Ladies... I'm having another emotional day!
I think you need to have a serious discussion. Not a yelling match or taking away his toys. Seriously tell him that you feel that you are alone in raising Caden and caring for your home. If he choses to stay up one night a week playing games, that is fine. Understandable. But to neglect his home and family is just not okay. Sounds like he doesn't want to deal with the responsiblity of owning a home, having a wife and 2 kids. It is a lot to take in for some people.
Tell him that you love him but you need his help.
Give him 3 days to get the room cleaned out. If he doesn't do it, literally throw it all away in big black garbage bags.
Sorry you are having a down day.
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| Posted 8/8/06 3:10 PM |
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