Please tell me how you go out with your baby?

I feel like a complete moron because I can never seem to manage an outing to any kind of store without having a complete breakdown which usually occurs from the screaming that starts the second I put Miranda in the carseat.

Today I wanted to go to the Kohl's sale so I got up, showered dressed and fed Miranda. I got her to sleep thinking great she'll stay asleep. NOPE. Eyes wide open the second I put her in the car seat. I figured she would fall back asleep. NOPE. Screamed the whole way to the store. Then I get there and couldn't get the stroller seat down to put the car seat in meanwhile the baby is in the car screaming. I called DH freaking out and all he tells me is what did I expect this is how babies are. Maybe I'm crazy but my baby cries a ton. If she's not sleeping or eating she is crying unless you are at home holding her while bouncing on the stability ball. You would think I would have lost all my baby weight for the number of hours a day I bounce on that damn ball.

I decided to head home but pulled myself together and went to BRU instead to take care of a gift card issue. I changed her and nursed her and still had to carry her in my arms the whole time. So I said screw it and decided to go to Kohl's. By some miracle she stayed in the car seat in the stroller without screaming and fell asleep. Great right. WRONG. Some unruly kid comes charging for the toys I was looking at banged the stroller and that was the end of piece and quiet. I gathered my toys and stood in line with a screaming baby who then screamed the whole way home. And when I say scream I mean screming. This is not fussing. She practically makes herself sick from crying so hard and I feel like a horrible mother for even going out with her.

Am I doing something wrong? Am I expecting too much? I just can't stay in every single day or I am going to go stark raving mad. I had a serious breakdown today and I don't want to get like that again.

Re: Please tell me how you go out with your baby?

i have been thru that too, it will pass, when she hits about 4 months she will be visually stimulated when you are out and about! hang in there, t is tough getting out there especially when you have an infant! I remember when I had 1 and the anxiety i felt when i wanted to go out, just continue to get out of the house for small outtings and thy will slowly get easier, i promise!!!

Re: Please tell me how you go out with your baby?

oh Jen... to you!!! That doesn't sound like fun at all. Talia used to be really easy to go out with - she would fall asleep in the car and stay asleep for a while - but now she is getting curious and insists on seeing what is going on when we are out - so often she gets cranky because she will cut a nap short or miss it altogether.

Today I went to BuyBuy Baby - she woke up when we got there (cutting her nap short)and was cranky - so I took her out and carried her around the store...she was content with that. Then I met my parents for lunch - I fed her about 2 oz. at lunch when she acted up a little and then she crashed - she was exhausted and slept for about 2.5 hours.

I am lucky because Talia loves the car seat and the car - she can't resist falling asleep. If your little one doesn't like the car, I'm afriad it will be harder to go out.


Did Miranda sleep well last night? I usually only take Talia out if she slept well the night before - she is more predictable when she had some sleep!

ETA: Don't be so hard on yourself! You showered today - and for that you should be proud haha...that in itself is an accomplishment.

Message edited 11/16/2005 5:23:33 PM.

Re: Please tell me how you go out with your baby?

I wish I knew the answer to that question!

I feel the same way you do. Hence, I hardly ever go out and I feel like I've wasted my maternity leave too worried to go out. I say congratulations to you for making the effort and getting out of the house!!

Basically, at 10 weeks I'm still up to learning to maneuver the stroller through store doors...talk about feeling moronic!

Re: Please tell me how you go out with your baby?

Re: Please tell me how you go out with your baby?

i feel for you honey. i put isabella in the snugli to shop. she seemed very content in there. well that was the only way i got stuff done anywhere. up until a recently she cried allll the time unless you were holding her. it does get better.

Re: Please tell me how you go out with your baby?

Talia has those days too - when it first started happening I went with it - but now I FORCE her to sleep...I will do anything to keep her sleeping - either I rock her or hold her -whatever it takes.


Honestly I find the better she sleeps during the day - the better she sleeps at night. I think Miranda is at the age where she is starting to fight her naps.

I know what you mean about the wailing -Talia would cry so hard she would be purple - just becuase she was tired...silly kids...

Now, in the past few days she is waking from her naps crying because she is still tired...so again I do whatever I can do to get her to go back to sleep...

What is with these kids - they fight sleeping, pooping and eating - the only three things we expect of them haha.

Re: Please tell me how you go out with your baby?

What about one of those little things you put the baby in so they are secure but against mommy and your hands are free? Is it the snuggly? I never used one but perhaps that would work and your little one just needs to be comforted and know mommy is right there.
Also, do you have a family member or friend that you can take with you to hold the baby and help while you shop?
It does get better. Its not you.
Your baby probably just needs the security of mommy's arms.

Re: Please tell me how you go out with your baby?

Lots of hugs . I've had days like that. Does she take a pacifier? That was the only thing that would keep Christopher at ease.

Re: Please tell me how you go out with your baby?

I wish I could give some advice to you...but, I can only offer these for now...

Re: Please tell me how you go out with your baby?

Have you asked your ped if she might have colic?

Re: Please tell me how you go out with your baby?

Lots of hugs Jen TRUST me, I know how you feel. Just last week I had to go shopping to get a dress for a wedding (because I can't fit my bit fat post-preggo fat arse into any of my dresses! ). I was depressed enough as it was looking for dresses two sizes up from my normal size, but then, the second I got into the dressing room, Alex decided to start wailing. I fed her, she still wailed, I rocked her, she still wailed, I used a paci, STILL nothing. I got so frustrated that I packed up and left and went home and she wailed all the way home

Two lessons I learned - Alex determines ALL. If she's in a bad mood that day or cranky because of lack of sleep the night before, or gassy, or whatever that makes her fussy, I stay home. Every day, every week is different. Two weeks ago she had an AWESOME week but last week was absolute HELL, as evidenced by my mini-breakdown in Macy's. But, last night Alex slept through the night from 8pm-6am only waking once for 20 minutes. So when she woke up today she was in a GLORIOUS mood, so I immediately packed her up and headed out to Macy's again and we had a great time. Yeah, she fussed a little, but I managed.

Other lesson - so she cries. I know firsthand that it's nervewracking and you feel like everyone is watching yuou when your little one cries. But when I was at Macy's, there was a HUGE sale and there were SOOO many mommies there with babies, and almost everyone I walked by the baby was crying and you know what? Hardly anyone noticed. Only reason why I did was because I was fascinated. And the moms just kept walking/shopping like there was nothing going on and I thought to myself, now why do I get so worked up when Alex cries when these women don't even flinch? Experience, I suppose. So if Miranda cries, she cries. So be it...

Third lesson - I saw a lot of women walking around with the baby in the baby carrier/snugli while pushing the carrier. Seems like a good idea if Miranda can't stand her stroller or car seat. I noticed today when Alex started fussing that when I just picked her up out of the stroller and walked with her she calmed down...

Re: Please tell me how you go out with your baby?

I totally have had times like that. One time I tried to go to the grocery store to pick up a few things for dinner on the way home from taking my DH to work (he doesn't drive so that forces me to take her out twice a day) and she was so peaceful in the car and then halfway through the store started screaming like crazy. Another time when my DH and I were at Target she did the same thing and I had to take her out of the stroller and hold her becuase she just wanted nothing to do with the car seat.

I seriously wish you lived on LI! I know what it is like to want to get out of the house but to be afraid that the baby wouldn't have a good day and would scream the whole time. I would go out with you and if our babies screamed at least the two of us would know that it is just how it is sometimes no matter how many people looked at us like we were torturing our babies or something.

I think maybe the Snugli would help but they are so confusing sometimes -- would you be able to get her in it easily and then back into the carseat when it's time to go home?

Also I know the weather has been cold there but I guess trying to get out for walks as much as possible to try and get her used to the car seat/stroller so that when you go out maybe it won't be as bad.

Could you put her in thecar seat/stroller in the house and push her around the house on cold days to get her used to it when you can't go outside?

I totally feel for you, and babies are completely unpredictable, so you aren't doing anything wrong. Hopefully in a few weeks things will get easier as she gets older. I know how stressful it is.

And if you aren't losing weight on the stability ball, just imagine how tight your core muscles are getting!!! I used the stability ball when I was on WW last tiem around and noticed a difference in my abs almost immediately. FM me if you want me to give you some exercise ideas that you can do while you're holding her. Haha, at least you'd get something out of your bounce sessions!!!

Re: Please tell me how you go out with your baby?

Re: Please tell me how you go out with your baby?

Thanks for the support everyone. I don't know what I would do without you guys. It helps to know I'm not alone in my new mommy struggles. I know it will pass somedays are just harder than others.

We go to the specialist tomorrow about her reflux so hopefully he can shed some light on her insane sleep issues. I have never been around an infant that will stay awake day in day out as many hours as she does.

You guys are the best!!

Re: Please tell me how you go out with your baby?

I'm lucky because Jake is typically a really good baby to go out with but I did have a tough time with him just this past weekend when I took him with me to baby shower so I have a clue as to what you went through. It was a totally new experience for him and it was very loud and people were smothering him so he FREAKED.

Here are my tricks that I did when I was on leave and went out with him to ensure things went smoothly and 99% of the time they did:

-Basically ALL outings were planned around his eating and napping schedule. I would only go out just after he ate and I knew I had a solid 2 hrs before he would need a nap again (i.e. start fussing)

-If he hadn't napped well that day - plans are off until he sleeps

- If those two hours were up and I was still out, I would make sure he fell asleep before I would continue my errands. Usually he just passes out where ever we are, regardless of what's going on around him. I swear, one time he was sleeping and just as I was ever so gently easing him out of the car, a fire engine came screaming by, sirens BLAZING... and Jake did not even stir! I was utterly shocked.

BUT, if he started fussing, I tried to do everything in my power to stop the overstimulation going on around him preventing him from going to sleep. I would pull the visor over him in the stroller so he couldn't see anything around him, tuck a blanket on him so he'd be warm, and give him the pacifier, even move to a quieter place for a few minutes. Also I would stop talking to him.

For me the key was planning. Planning and napping are everything when you have an infant!

I hope she's able to get some more sleep in soon!!

Re: Please tell me how you go out with your baby?

I agree with carrying her. I don't know about the snugli but I have the bjorn and the Maya Wrap. I usually use the Maya Wrap for those type of outings cause it is easy to get her in and out of. Plus I can carry her upright on my shoulder with it..her favorite position.

Also, at nap time at home do you swaddle? I just started swaddling Sidney again and her naps went from 20 mins to sometimes 1.5hrs.


http://www.mayawrap.com

http://www.miracleblanket.com

Re: Please tell me how you go out with your baby?

Completely normal...I think of it this way - for 10 months your baby was in utereo, hearing muffled sounds of your voice, just busy growing, seeing shadows of light - and really just hanging out in a pool of water. Now, there are louder sounds, too many things for them to look at, they get overstimulated easily until they become accustpmed to it. Sort of like when you first brought them home & they screamed bloody murder when you changed their diaper, but now can deal with it. She just needs time to get used to things around her.

If this helps at all, I am certain that Joseph is responsible for several teenage clerks at Costco using birth control. He screamed so horribly during month 2 - the woman behind me packed my cart to help me get out of the store. He didn't stop screaming until he was in the car.

I know it takes A LOT to get ready, change a diaper, pack the diaper bag, then you have to feed them, change outfit for spitups, put them in their car seat and than need to change their diaper...and by the time you get out, you're amazed it's taken an hour and a half - and it's almost time for their next feeding. If you need a place to go, i'd suggest seeing what your local library or community centers offer. I know Huntington has a great one at the Dolan Center. I'm sure other towns do too.

Message edited 11/16/2005 11:33:36 PM.

Re: Please tell me how you go out with your baby?

I don't havea solution for it but I can tell you it will pass for now here are lots

Re: Please tell me how you go out with your baby?

Though I am so fortunate to not have gone through that (as Juliette was quiet as long as I kept it moving...), I can tell you that it will get better, I promise! She is still a baby baby, and any outing with her will be unpredictable. Believe me, it does get easier.

Re: Please tell me how you go out with your baby?

Re: Please tell me how you go out with your baby?

to you first off.

I just wanted to offer some advice. I know Miranda is quite young still but my sister in law has that thing you strap to the front of you and places the baby looking outward. He is about 4 months and she was having the same issues you were having until she got this thing. Now the kid does not make a peep and his mom can walk around with hand free.

We just went to Home Depot with them this past weekend and it was amazing. We were there for almost 1 hour adn he was just looking around at everything. She said her first baby was awesome with being in a stroller but her second hated it and screamed until she got this thing.

Hope that helps.