Another Bad April Fools Joke - can I get some opinions too?

I screwed up big with my April Fools Joke too. My best friend who was my MOH and is also my cousin, is very conservative and very religious. As far as I know, she is a virgin and waiting for marriage.

When I read the SexIQ post last week I thought it would be funny to send to a couple of people, her included. Immediately after I sent it, I realized it was a mistake to send it to her because her and I have never really been open about sex talk because she is conservative and a virgin.

Well... I didn't get to her in time, she took the test, got "owned", and sent me a very brief and curt reply stating that is was not funny, that she felt violated was very upset, and that if I wanted to know those things I could have just asked.

Well, of course I decided I wasn't going to read her test replies and I wrote her back telling her so and with God as my witness, I have not and will not. I apologized, called her and left a voicemail, etc. Yet I have not heard from her since. I think she's really p!ssed. But the thing is, she hasn't really been violated because I haven't read anything.

Anyway... knowing her all too well, I worry that this may be something that she might never speak to me again over. I now realize it was incredibly stupid to send it to her of all people. I should have known better. Everyone else took it fine, and honestly, besides my DH, I did not read anyone else's replies.

Opinions? How bad did I screw up? Was this a horrible thing to do? Is she justified if she decides to never speak to me again? What could I do to fix this, if anything?

Re: Another Bad April Fools Joke - can I get some opinions too?

Same thing happened to me.... so many people got angry or upset, and let me know it. But like you said, I barely read any of the replies (just a few of the guy's replies from my myspace friends). The reason I did it is for the people to get that shock when it told them their answers have been sent to me. I have explained it to people and have told them I didn't read their answers, and most people have accepted that.

I would just keep trying to reach her and let her know you didn't read it

Re: Another Bad April Fools Joke - can I get some opinions too?

I think your MOH needs to get a sense of humor. I would just say sorry and that you included her by accident. Don't beat yourself up to much I am sure she will realize you didn't mean to offend her.

ETA: OK I figured it out! I guess I can understand why she was upset. All you can do at this point is say your sorry. I am sure she will forgive you

Message edited 4/7/2006 10:52:24 AM.

Re: Another Bad April Fools Joke - can I get some opinions too?

Oh boy. I can definitely understand someone getting upset over this - virgin or not. It was a violation of privacy.

Maybe send her another message to apologize? Say that although you didn't read her responses, you know that it was still a very stupid and wrong thing to do and that you apologize from the bottom of your heart.

Re: Another Bad April Fools Joke - can I get some opinions too?

Re: Another Bad April Fools Joke - can I get some opinions too?

Posted by Christine

I agree about getting a sense of humor -- how did she not know it was a joke? And if she was uncomfortable taking the test, then why would she take it and send it back to you?

I would call her again and apologize and that you would un-do it if you can (which you tried to do) and tell her it's up to her if she wants to lose the relationship over this.

i agree, she shouldn't have taken it if she didn't approve of it. i think she's over reacting a little, but you should call and talk it out

Re: Another Bad April Fools Joke - can I get some opinions too?

It was a kinda shocking joke.

I think if I had done it from a friend or family member instead of Julz I would have been really mad too.

I think that even though you said you wuoldnt read it, she had that intial anger and is having trouble letting go of it.

The bottom line though , is yeah you could have thought more about it before doing it, but I can tell in your words alone how sorry you are and that you really didnt mean to hurt her, and she has GOT to if an adult be able to see that and understand that as well.

People make mistakes, they do things that turn out to not be funny. You cant kill yourself with guilt. You knew you made a mistake, apologized etc...thats a lot to say for a person IMO.

I would tell her again all what you told us...tell her you will give her some space but you 100% agree with her feelings, that they are valid and that yours are too...you are sincere and you hope she can see that and forgive you.

I would find it hard to not forgive someone close to me whos sincere, not over something like this.

Good luck!

Message edited 4/7/2006 11:06:12 AM.

Re: Another Bad April Fools Joke - can I get some opinions too?

Posted by dm24angel

It was a kinda shocking joke.

I think if I had done it from a friend or family member instead of Julz I would have been really mad too.

I think that even though you said you wuoldnt read it, she had that intial anger and is having trouble letting go of it.

The bottom line though , is yeah you could have thought more about it before doing it, but I can tell in your words alone how sorry you are and that you really didnt mean to hurt her, and she has GOT to if an adult be able to see that and understand that as well.

People make mistakes, they do things that turn out to not be funny. You cant kill yourself with guilt. You knew you made a mistake, apologized etc...thats a lot to say for a person IMO.

I would tell her again all what you told us...tell her you will give her some space but you 100% agree with her feelings, that they are valid and that yours are too...you are sincere and you hope she can see that and forgive you.

I would find it hard to not forgive someone whos sincere, not other something like this.

Good luck!

Re: Another Bad April Fools Joke - can I get some opinions too?

Posted by dm24angel

It was a kinda shocking joke.

I think if I had done it from a friend or family member instead of Julz I would have been really mad too.

I think that even though you said you wuoldnt read it, she had that intial anger and is having trouble letting go of it.

The bottom line though , is yeah you could have thought more about it before doing it, but I can tell in your words alone how sorry you are and that you really didnt mean to hurt her, and she has GOT to if an adult be able to see that and understand that as well.

People make mistakes, they do things that turn out to not be funny. You cant kill yourself with guilt. You knew you made a mistake, apologized etc...thats a lot to say for a person IMO.

I would tell her again all what you told us...tell her you will give her some space but you 100% agree with her feelings, that they are valid and that yours are too...you are sincere and you hope she can see that and forgive you.

I would find it hard to not forgive someone whos sincere, not other something like this.

Good luck!

Re: Another Bad April Fools Joke - can I get some opinions too?

I didn't see the test thing thread so not sure about that...

But, what i would do now is write her a long apologetic email. I would basically say that you sent it to everyone in your address book on email without thinking and then later realized u had sent it to her and it would be offensive to her. explain to her that recognizing how the test actually worked, you would NEVER violate her personal life by reading it and swear up and down that you didn't.

I don't think what you did was that horrible...but then again, i don't know her and don't know about this test. I can say that it is CERTAINLY not enough to ever end a friendship over so I am SURE she will come around

Hope this helped at least a little

Re: Another Bad April Fools Joke - can I get some opinions too?

I hope your cousin forgives you.

It's so hard to know what someone's "buttons" are when it comes to making jokes. You might know someone is serious about something, but it can be so easy to misinterpret how serious. And until she got this email maybe she didn't know herself how sensitive it really, really was to her.

Re: Another Bad April Fools Joke - can I get some opinions too?

I hope she forgives you...

I sent it to my DH and I found out that our love life is an 8 out of 10 and that I got a 9 out of 10 in the looks department...

Re: Another Bad April Fools Joke - can I get some opinions too?

I hope she forgives you. I can completely understand that she is mad, but you have clearly acknowledged that you were wrong and have respected her privacy by not reading the e-mail. I know that I am not conservative, but I would be pizzed if someone I knew sent me that.

If she is very religious she should forgive you. I believe that all religions encourage forgivness when one is truly sorry, which it sounds like you are. Most religions also acknowledge that as humans, we are flawed and make mistakes. In fact, in my religion, if someone makes a mistake and apologizes sincerely 3 times, and is not forgiven, it is the sin of the one who refuses to forgive, and not the one who made the mistake in the first place.

I would give her some space and let her know again how sorry you are, and how you acknowledge it was a big mistake to send her the joke and reassure her that you have not read it and that you hope that she can forgive you when she is ready.

Re: Another Bad April Fools Joke - can I get some opinions too?

Posted by jersee3380

Posted by Christine

I agree about getting a sense of humor -- how did she not know it was a joke? And if she was uncomfortable taking the test, then why would she take it and send it back to you?

I would call her again and apologize and that you would un-do it if you can (which you tried to do) and tell her it's up to her if she wants to lose the relationship over this.

i agree, she shouldn't have taken it if she didn't approve of it. i think she's over reacting a little, but you should call and talk it out

I also agree. If she felt so violated then she shouldn't of answered the questions and sent it back to you. Just tell her that you sent it to her by mistake and that you did not mean to offend her in anyway. If this is something that she will never talk to you again, then she is really over reacting. Hope it works out for you

Re: Another Bad April Fools Joke - can I get some opinions too?

I didn't send it to anyone because I knew there would be bad feelings afterward. I don't think it's a case of not having a sense of humor. Some people keep their sex lives very private and no, a lot of people didn't recognize it as a joke.

I would call her to apologize again. Sometimes sincerity comes across better in your voice. But what's done is done. Don't dwell on it. You'll make yourself sick and if she doesn't come around, it's her loss!

Re: Another Bad April Fools Joke - can I get some opinions too?

If she's so religious doesn't she know about the power of forgiveness? It was meant innocently... you apologized but she needs to forgive. This is a perfect opportunity for someone (her) to practice what they preach... but they can't.

Your intentions must be considered over the outcome of the action.