ughh major vent about my Dh please read...

ok a little background info... Dh mom passed away 3 yrs ago. his step dad and mom used to live in the 3rd floor of his grandmas house, his granmdma( moms mom) lives on teh 2nd floor and owns the hosue and my dh lived in a very small walk in apt.well now we live in the small walk in apt and over 3 yrs later since his moms death his sttepdad STILL lives upstairs. Now we were talking about when we get pg where would would live and this has been an ongoing argument b/c his grandma wants us to stay and would ask his stepdad to switch apartments. We already decided with my raise i make too much to stay home now ( i am a teacher) so either we are renting upstairs or renting back in bayside near my mom i am still wokring but my point is we can save THAT much more if we are upstairs with a baby. Now his steppdad and mom moved here 10 years ago with teh assuumption that his stepdad and mom would pay little rent and he would help out with things around the house.. Well now that we are here I do most of the stuff and his rent has been raised ONCE in 10 years he has been here ( the last three alone) from .. 500 to 550..who pays this for rent for a studio forget a 2 bedroom nice size lv rm eat in kitchen and Dinette area ... So anyway today my DH was like this is it i am not talking baout it again we are not living there.. How do i convince him otherwise??

Re: ughh major vent about my Dh please read...

why doesnt DH want to live there?

Re: ughh major vent about my Dh please read...

oh sorry i rambled so much i forgot to really say why. well his mom was sick in that apartment and he doenst have alot of good memories of here there thats the first reason and two he feels badly asking his stepdad to leave and are you ready for WHY he feels badly... ugh.. his mom and stepdad did nt have agreat marriage and he feels liek alot of it was his moms fault so he almost feel like he OWES his stepdad someting .. is this nuts or what?/ i mean he never said those words but he did say the thing about the relationship being bad b/c of his mom ya know.

Re: ughh major vent about my Dh please read...

Hmmm....I would sit down and talk to him calmly and explain your reasons, that you two would need the room where his step dad would not, yet I think I would in that situation respect DH is he 100% felt like he couldnt live there. I dont think if my mom got sick and passed I could live in her apt ever, too many memories, and thats something you have to respect or it could cause some serious issues daown the line.

What does his grandmother say?

I know it would save you a ton of money and I would want to jump on the chance but it sounds like somehting I might pass up if it interfered with my relationship with DH at all.

GOOD LUCK

Re: ughh major vent about my Dh please read...

his grandma says its ours and she would offer the stepdad our apt which is perfect for one but its tight for us two... i knwo what youa re saying but MANY MANY people live in houses that they inherit form their deceased parents. his mom didnt pass away in teha pt just very sick trhere yua know. parto fme is ooking forward to moving back to bayside b/c i love the area but part of me is also thining convience too.. ughh i dont know. his grandma is going to be crushed....

Re: ughh major vent about my Dh please read...

sit down and talk it over and listen to what each other has to say. it doesn't matter what others have done or would choose to do in this situation, it is a totally moot point. if DH is uncomfortable living in the apartment then you need to respect his decision.

Re: ughh major vent about my Dh please read...