did anyone else get alot of dont tell so and so...

Since Ive been pregnant, Ive been hearing dont tell this one bc it will upset them bc they've been trying for a while or dont tell that one bc they will be jealous or act like I dont know and pretend to tell them first...If it happened once I wouldnt question this but were you put into this situation as well? I dont mean to hurt anyone BUT me and my dh are very happy and this should be GREAT news for us.

Re: did anyone else get alot of dont tell so and so...

Not for that reason.

I know how it feels when you're having trouble and everyone around you is preggo, but I would be offended if ppl were keeping some happy news from me. Knowing someone I like is PG (like the ladies in LIF) were some of the few happy moments during the tough times and gave me hope. Seeing ppl I don't know of those that didn't plan for it or want it was difficult.

I might get flamed for this but honestly, I think if someone is happier not knowing I think it is just the grief/frustration talking. And if they are truly upset at you, they do not need to be your friend during this time.

Re: did anyone else get alot of dont tell so and so...

I usually don't post here, but wanted to reply to this as I am laying in bed recovering from my egg retrieval for my 8th IVF.

I can't tell you how uspet I was when I found out that people were HIDING their pregnancies from me!!! I didn't know my cousins wife was pg until she was almost due! My whole family hid it from DH and I!!! Other friends have tiptoed around me, and yes, I appreciate their sensitivity, and yes, I do get a little jealous b/c I wonder why it hasn't happened for us, but I certainly can and do feel happy for anyone who is blessed with that wonderful news, and wouldn't want anyone to have to walk on eggshells around me.

Message edited 5/21/2006 5:09:59 PM.

Re: did anyone else get alot of dont tell so and so...

Posted by LisaW

I usually don't post here, but wanted to reply to this as I am laying in bed recovering from my egg retrieval for my 8th IVF.

I can't tell you how uspet I was when I found out that people were HIDING their pregnancies from me!!! I didn't know my cousins wife was pg until she was almost due! My whole family hid it from DH and I!!! Other friends have tiptoed around me, and yes, I appreciate their sensitivity, and yes, I do get a little jealous b/c I wonder why it hasn't happened for us, but I certainly can and do feel happy for anyone who is blessed with that wonderful news, and wouldn't want anyone to have to walk on eggshells around me.

Re: did anyone else get alot of dont tell so and so...

I agree with Lisa and Pauline. I would rather know than feel like friends are hiding things from me and lying.

For me, the most important thing is HOW you tell them. As long as it is communicated sensitively, I think they would want to know.

I've had two co-worker friends announce recently. One good, one bad.

The good one said "I know you are trying and I want to be sensitive to that, but I also know that we are friends and I want you to hear from me and have you share my joy. And I'm praying it will be your turn soon."

The other "friend" told me she was pregnant and then joked about how fertile she was and asked if I needed one of her eggs. Not sensitive and not wanting to hear any other details from her.

Share your news. Real friends will want to hear!!

Re: did anyone else get alot of dont tell so and so...

Message edited 5/21/2006 11:16:59 PM.

Re: did anyone else get alot of dont tell so and so...

Because we fought with IF for almost three years I was very sensative to how/when I shared my news. Its not that I expected people to be any less happy for me, I just know the backhanded slap that this news could potentially bring to someones heart.

Re: did anyone else get alot of dont tell so and so...

No, because I have suffered with IF for 2 and a half years and 1 m/c. So, it was more like the other way around. People were afraid to tell me. Everyone was so happy to finally hear our good news.