Question re: being a bridesmaid and ttc...(sort of long - sorry)

Hi ladies! I'm undercover TTC starting in a few weeks. I didn't plan on telling anyone I'm "trying." Here's the thing - I'm a bridesmaid in my bros wedding. My future SIL has been pushing to look for bridesmaids gowns. And I have already put it off.

So Im sort of in a dilemma i want to handle with care because I don't want to offend my future SIL in any way. But, I'm worried that maybe it is rude for me to be ttc before their wedding? that she will be bothered to have a pregnant woman in her bridal party AND the big issue right now since I am not pregnant yet is the dress. Should i get pregnant on the first try (wishful thinking I KNOW) - I would be in my seventh month at their wedding. Thus, the dress issue. From what I have seen I think if I got pregnant on the second or third try it would most likely be an issue as well. But then again, who knows...

So do I say nothing and get the gown and suck up the costs of a new dress or alterations if I do become pregnant during this time? Or do I talk to her about it in confidence? If it were your wedding would you be offended or annoyed by this? Do I offer her an "out" if I am pregnant? UGH...I hate being a woman sometimes!

I'm sure many of you ladies have been in this situation - on one side or the other - so I greatly greatly appreciate your advice or opinion.

And a BIG CONGRATS to all you very lucky Mommy 2 bes.....

Re: Question re: being a bridesmaid and ttc...(sort of long - sorry)

if you feel comfortable enough to tell her you are trying than do that. if not maybe you can order the dress a little bit bigger than normal and not tell her. .

Re: Question re: being a bridesmaid and ttc...(sort of long - sorry)

My SIL is going through something similar and I will tell you what I told her. I don't think you should hold out because of what is going on in someone else's life. At the same time I don't think you should tell her that you are TTC'ing I really feel it isn't anyones business. I wouldn't want to plan my future around my friends It just doesn' seem fair. You also don't know what your furture holds for you and you know how long it could take. It would be great that it take you one try but it could also take longer and if you wait then you might regret waiting. It just upsets me so much because like I said earlier my SIL is going through the samething but she told her friend and her friend was surprised and kinda upset with her without telling my SIL. I would be so happy if I had any pg bridesmaids when I got married.

Re: Question re: being a bridesmaid and ttc...(sort of long - sorry)

First off congratulations - secondly when are the getting married? You could only be 3 months along when they amarry and not even showing. If you feel more comfortable, get a dress in the next size up so you have room.

Re: Question re: being a bridesmaid and ttc...(sort of long - sorry)

I was 6 montsh pregnant at my friend's wedding this summer. I told her upfront that we were trying and told her if she felt more comfortable I would bow out. Of course she said that she was thrilled for me and would never want me to step down if I was pregnant.
I ordered a regular BM dress for her wedding and found out I was pregnant the next month. I was able to cancel the original dress and went with a maternity dress in the same color.
It all worked out fine, and it turned out that the bride was in for a big surprise herself- she was almost 5 months preggo on her own wedding day.

Re: Question re: being a bridesmaid and ttc...(sort of long - sorry)

HI! I am going through the same thing I have 2 weddings that I am in - July and Sept. Both my friends know that we are TTC at the end of Dec- Jan. I told them I would step down. They said absolutly not! SOOO we are looking at dresses and there is a backup dress if needed. I will wait to the last possible day to order which ever dress I need and what size w/ enough time to still get it. That's the best we can do in this situation.
At first I said I would wait- but this is our family we are palnning and waiting doesn't work for us- AND my GF's said "don't even think of waiting so your not PG for the wedding! Do your thing!"
Hope this helped a little.

Re: Question re: being a bridesmaid and ttc...(sort of long - sorry)

I would say put yourself first and not to worry about what you will wear or how you will look for someone else's wedding. She asked you to be in the wedding party for being you. You never know how far along you could be in time for her wedding, and I hope it wouldn't matter to her.
Take your blessings as they come and don't worry about timing out your life in favor of others. Do what you gotta do and love every minute of it!

Re: Question re: being a bridesmaid and ttc...(sort of long - sorry)

i would just be honest and tel her!! besides u will be giving them a niece or nephew!!

my SIL was in our wedding and she was 9 months preggo. she wanted to back out and we would not let her. we just found her a dress that was a little different but in the same color.

now we have pictures of my nephew right before he entered into the world. we love it! it is actually a great memory.

Re: Question re: being a bridesmaid and ttc...(sort of long - sorry)

Re: Question re: being a bridesmaid and ttc...(sort of long - sorry)

My friend had asked me to be in her bridal party, and I knew I was going to start trying. I told her about it, and she said she still wanted me in it, it didn't matter if I was nine months pregnant. I ended up being 5 months pregnant at her wedding. It worked out ok, they just ordered the dress a little bigger.

Re: Question re: being a bridesmaid and ttc...(sort of long - sorry)

my sister was TTC before my wedding last year and got PG in april. we ordered the dresses in feb., and wen she told me it was too late for the salon to change the order. so they told me and her, just wait until the dress comes in and we'll take it from there.

bottom line, they had to use a piece of the shawl to make the dress slightly bigger and she looked beautiful.

i would not worry about it, if you are close to your sil i would tell her.

Re: Question re: being a bridesmaid and ttc...(sort of long - sorry)

just order the dress a little bigger and tell the worker at the bridal store to order extra fabric - you can even say you are making a shawl or something.

if you do get pregnant, at least the fabric is there so you can make adjustments to your dress. if you are not pregnant, you can just get the dress taken in.

Re: Question re: being a bridesmaid and ttc...(sort of long - sorry)

I am in a wedding on Saturday and am 6 months pregnant. I told the salon that I was TTC when I ordered. I ordered one size bigger and extra length. The dress is a two piece. They just had to move the zipper on the skirt down an inch or two and I still had to get it shortened and the top was big in boob area and shoulders but just a little snug around by belly, They let out the seams and it fits great. You can also order extra material if need be closer to the wedding if you need it. Good luck and

Re: Question re: being a bridesmaid and ttc...(sort of long - sorry)

I am in my BF wedding in December. I will be at the beginning of my 5th month by then.

I told my BF over the summer that we were TTC and asked how she would feel if I were to be pregnant and showing by the time of her wedding. She stated that she would not mind and thought it would be cute. She had no problem with it.

However, we did order the dresses in June. I found out last month that I was PG. I called Davids Bridal last weekend b/c the dresses are in already. They had me come in a fitted me with a PG pillow that they have of different stafe preggo bellies. So we were able to order/exchange my dress for the next size up with no problem.

So I would say dont stop TTC b/c you are in a wedding. I think everything will work out.

HTH