Moms I have a possibly Wierd Question....

Did you feel like you didn't want to share the baby with everyone right away? I keep feeling like I am going to feel like this. My mom lives here and my in laws will be here Tuesday and there is a chance that I will have the baby while they are here because I am overdue and will be induced next week if I don't go on my own. So between them and my mom everyone will be all gaga over the baby. I also worry I am going to be smothered with advice that I don't want to have coming at me left and right.

I am sure a lot of this is hormones right now but I just feel overwhelmed a little because things aren't going how I planned.

If you felt this way how did you handle it without snapping or offending anyone?

Re: Moms I have a possibly Wierd Question....

When I didn't want to bother with people, I would just take the baby and go into my bedroom. Most people got the hint.

I was late also and the day after my mom came from NY I went into labor. Part of me was wishing that I would have the baby before she got here so DH and I could have some time with him, but it turned out fine. I was so happy she was here. There were times I was was so tired and I was greatful that she was here to make dinner, answer the phone and even watch the baby while I took a shower. My ILs live here, but they always called before they came over and they gave use space.

If you need time alone, just ask for it or have DH explain why you want to be alone.

Re: Moms I have a possibly Wierd Question....

Thanks. I am just so worried about offending anyone. I also don't want to fight with my mom which we are very prone too. I am sure it will all work out.

Re: Moms I have a possibly Wierd Question....

oh no I felt like this I had my mom stay with me for a few days but she was good she let me deal with the baby and do everything she helped out aloth but my inlaws when they came over they were trying to hog the baby so I fianlly just took her and put her in the bassinet in my bedroom and let her sleep in there cuz they were too much with her

Re: Moms I have a possibly Wierd Question....

I felt like you too. DH and I actually came to an agreement and told my MIL that we didn't want anyone over the house the first day out of the hospital so that we can just take it all in and rest. Luckily she was ok with that and we were alone the first day.
Good luck and just be honest with your family.

Re: Moms I have a possibly Wierd Question....

I felt the opposite...I was thrilled to have our parents around the weekend we brought the baby home. They cooked for us, cleaned, got everything in order - I was really grateful because it gave me a break.

(I also really hurt my back during delivery so it was hard for me to get around!)

Re: Moms I have a possibly Wierd Question....

I was glad my mom stayed with us for the first 2 weeks. I think you need to make it clear that any help from others should be with stuff like cooking, cleaning, errands and that your attention should be baby 100%.

My mom was great.. Let me do my thing with Jack and she took care of cooking, laundry,etc.

Re: Moms I have a possibly Wierd Question....

Re: Moms I have a possibly Wierd Question....

Luckily my mom and MIl were great, but I'd really just tell her straight out that you will tend to the baby and her help would be greatly appreciated with dinner and maybe a run to the grocery store or whatever. If all else fails, blame it on your pediatrican and say that you were advised to take on all of the baby care within reason and that family should be there for support, etc. Good luck!

Re: Moms I have a possibly Wierd Question....

I totally felt like this and luckily my MIL was the one who suggested we tell family that we would not be taking visitors for the first few days.

I very much wanted it to be just me, DH and the baby so we could all adjust and bond.

I told my Mom and a few other family members here and there that we wouldn't want any visitors the first few days. Well, MIL took care of her end, for the most part but my Mom forgot and some people just don't get the hint so be prepared to be firm and make no bones about it. It's your baby and the three of you need time to adjust.

Some people didn't listen. My cousin called like four times the day we got home from the hospital and we intentionally were not answering the phone. So she SHOWED UP at my house. Now, I had a c/s and could barely walk by the end of the night and that's when she decided to show up. She got the hint when she saw me hobbling down the hallway (had JUST gotten into bed - no easy feat with a c/s) and I told her I had just taken my pain meds so I could get some sleep.

The next night one of my aunts showed up and she wasn't taking any of my hints so I had to flat out tell her that we were going to bed so we'd see her another day.

The thing that really bugged me about the people that called and wanted to come over the first days is that NO ONE (except one friend) bothered to come and see me in the hospital and I was there for a full week.

You are definitely lucky to have family around to help with the cooking, cleaning, etc. But YOU set the rules for visitors and YOU decide when enough is enough. The baby needs YOU most those first few days. You may have to step on some toes a little but you might as well get used to doing what you have to do in order to do what's best for your child.

Re: Moms I have a possibly Wierd Question....

i was totally this way. I didnt let anyone hold her or touch her. Some days i would let my mom or sister, but for some reason i never wanted his family holding her. I made everyone wash there hands. I was so anal. My friends still make fun of me.

Re: Moms I have a possibly Wierd Question....

I know EXACTLY how you feel. It's totally normal.